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Please help me sort out my 'Issues'

(2 Posts)
KateSpade Tue 27-Nov-12 11:22:52

I've heard from other boards, that mental health is nice and friendly, so i hope i don't piss anyone off with whats bothering me, as i know these kind of things aren't the 'end of the world' but, I'm trying to sort them out before they become anything bigger. And i don't know about you, but i always like another persons perspective.


Issue No.1
I am a third year University student, and i live away from my daughter mon-thurs, home on weekends, she lives with my parents. Its a very practical course and i couldn't finish my last year with a baby, - that is not the issue, just the explaining of the situation. Now, i love my DD to bits, but I'm feeling a bit like I've ruined my life. I would have loved to move to a big city, go traveling, but i can't because i have had a baby. At the minute i am regretting having a baby. I am seeing all my friends make plans for after uni, and i can't do anything apart from live back at home with my parents. I realise how lucky i am to have such a fantastic, supportive family. (No DP) I do not want to return to my home town, as i feel I've gotten everything out of it that i can, and their aren't many job prospects their, but thats a whole other issue.

Issue No.2
I have been sleeping with my housemate - drunken.
which may be why this has kicked everything off, by everything i mean feeling this way.
I have not had a boyfriend in a very long time, 3+ years. Their is clearly something wrong with me, i get used by men, feel rejected and do it again for an ego boost. As with every girl, i would love to fall in love ect, but it just hasn't happened. I've though, oh it will, just leave it. I obviously have self esteem issues, i need to sort out before i will even meet someone. i just don't know what to do, i am a confident, stylish person, but i just don't feel good about myself, and can't put my finger on why it is? All my housemates (bar the boy i slept with) have found their 'one person' and am feeling slightly Bridget Jones like.
+ i don't want to develop any feelings for this boy, as its not going to go anywhere. I know relationships don't begin with one night stands.

I need a good hard kick up the ass + someone to tell me what i should do?

twinkerbell Tue 27-Nov-12 11:30:08

its normal to feel unstable about things when you go off to uni, I went back to uni for the second time when I was in my early 30's and had a young child. I too found it difficult sometime because they would all go off to the pub after lectures and I would rush off and go on the school run. I did go out once too often every now and then but it made me feel young again and part of the group. HOWEVER.... a couple of year on from finishing most of the people I was at uni with all moved on and away and I am only in touch and a couple of people and as were all working now we hardly ever get chance to see eachother and life is very normal again. I think you need to put this into perspective and treat it for what it is, its a few years out of your life whilst you are getting a qualification to improve prospects for you AND your child.
As far as a relationship goes, you are honest about wanting to change a lot in your life and until you are more stable in what it is you wnat for yourself, a relationship would just confuse you more!

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