My life is absolute crap at the moment, and I can't see any way out of it :(
All I seem to do is shout at my kids and be horrible to them, it is no wonder they hate me so much. I have 4 year old twins, and one of them especially speaks to me like dirt- calling me stupid and saying he doesn't like me on a daily basis. I end up shouting and saying horrid things back to him, and then feeling so desperately guilty about it. I am sat here now sobbing after yet another shouting match. He is 4 for gods sake, and I love him so very much.yet I end up saying things like 'well if you don't like me then I will just go and you will never see me again'. I am such a horrible horrible person to say that to a small child :( I feel like I am just completely fucking up my kids lives by being the person I am.
My relationship with my husband is pretty crap too. We always argue, and it is always my fault. He is always in a foul mood and nothing seems to make him happy. He doesn't enjoy spending time with me or the kids and ends up shouting at them and telling me that everything is my fault. He takes no responsibility for any problems in the relationship, and basically it is down to me to change. I would leave, but have no idea where to even start. I don't work and don't know how I could manage a job and childcare if I was on my own.
Sorry this is very long and rambling, and thanks for listening. I just feel so low at the moment and needed to get it off my chest.
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Mental health
I am such a failure as a mum :(
6 replies
dawnpreview · 22/11/2012 20:26
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