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Oh god please i cant take this anymore

(21 Posts)
Charleebird Mon 12-Nov-12 16:01:09

I feel awful. Worse than before ad's. i find i have times in the day im worse than others. I feel like i cant think straught, im panicking, cant stop crying, anger and i feel like i need to scream. I feel like im not here im on another planet and cant get back to normality. I can hardly sort my kids out.
My mum laughs and calls me pathetic. She says im a weirdo and i need to snap out of it.
Yea thats such a nice thing to say!
Am i loosing my memory? Cos i feel like nothing arounds me real and i cant focus properly. Doc assured me its anxiety and nothing to worry about.
I just wana die

Flimflammery Mon 12-Nov-12 16:03:44

That sounds very scary. I suggest you go back to the doctor and get your medication changed. Read out to him/her what you've written here. Hope it improves for you.

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 20:44:15

what meds are you taking charleebird and how long youbeen on them?

some ADs just dont suit some people and can take a few goes to find one you an get along with<when i had sertraline dp thought id been on speed-i was so hyper and twitching,noises put me through the roof,thoguht i had lost it completely!>

im sorry your mum is being less than there anyone else in RL who can offer yousome support?

remember you can always post on here for bit reassurance or support

sending hugs

permaquandry Mon 12-Nov-12 20:55:15

Are you in the first few weeks of a new tablet? Apparently, it is common to feel worse before you start to feel better but I would get back to your doctor ASAP and tell him/her how you are feeling.

Thinking of you, keep us posted.

Charleebird Mon 12-Nov-12 21:26:57

Yes this is week one

Charleebird Mon 12-Nov-12 21:28:44

I rung doctor and he said i need to stick it out and has perscribed me diazapam to relax me. I feel ok this eve, still worrying over nothing but its not as bad. I no tomorrow it will be back! Anxiety is such a pain i hate it

Charleebird Mon 12-Nov-12 21:29:48

Im on week one of 100mg sertraline and i tale 3 propranalol a day.

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 21:34:10

my gp said after 4 days if you are getting worse by the day its not the drug for you

that said diazepam should take the edge off things

dont be afraid to ring gp again though if it does continue to worsen while taking the diazepam

i know its hard but try hard not to anticipate what tomorrow will bring-you will always mentally find its worse than the reality!

learning to live with anxiety takes time,patience and practice
once you are stabilised by the ADs it will be alittle bit easier.x

permaquandry Mon 12-Nov-12 21:42:28

I'm not a medical expert but you are echoing what I went through (different tabs). Within 3 weeks, I was like a new person and felt great. I really hope you are feeling better soon.

What got me through was focussing on everyday essential tasks and the kids. I tried to keep busy and found that each day got slightly easier (after the first 10 days). I hope you have support in RL.

Look after yourself and keep checking in to let us know how you are.

Charleebird Mon 12-Nov-12 21:48:48

Thanks guys this has given me hope :-) i will keep you all updated xxx

Charleebird Thu 15-Nov-12 14:26:28

I feel ok today. Not as anxious and mot as panicky. Maybe meds are starting to work. But i fear that i will wake up tomorrow and feel awful again. My main problem that causes me to worry is the constant fight or flight symptoms of seriously strong butterflies in my tummy. Its awful. But i have realised now that my fear of dementia or memory loss is silly and even thou it scares me, i no now im not just going to randomly forget people and places. It wont happen. Lets see how it goes x

liveinazoo Thu 15-Nov-12 18:25:49

im so pleased today has been a good day

take them one at a time and remember when you do have a day thats less good there is always someone out here,ready to listen and offer support

permaquandry Thu 15-Nov-12 21:02:50

This is great news. It's definitely progress, I reckon tomorrow you'll feel even better. Keep focussing on how you felt today.

Anxiety can manifest itself in irrational fears but also in real life events. Try to focus on what you DO have control over and not what you don't. Stay positive and please let us know how you're doing. Sending you un-MN Hugs.

Charleebird Fri 16-Nov-12 11:13:53

I woke up feeling ok with hardly any butterflies wahooo! However, when i took my son to the doctors i bought him sweets after. I walked out the shop and for a moment had to think were the car was. This led to a massive panic attack because i have convinced myself im loosing my memory or something. Ever since then i cant stop thinking about things like who am i? Whos that? Thoughts that come and i cant stop them. Im now in a bad way sat at my mums crying as ive convinced myself YET again that i have a brain tumour or im getting dementia. Im 26 and i just feel like y the hell is this happening to me?
Once im in a zone of worry i cant get out of it.
Doctors keep saying to me im not ill, i dont have a tumour and im just anxious.

Charleebird Fri 16-Nov-12 11:17:42

Doctor says my fear is manifesting itself through questioning myself. But why wont it just bugger off! Im on sertraline (day 10) and diazepam. Im scared my anti d's arent working properly because my brain is full of cancer and they wont work. God damn i hate this. Its effecting my life so much that my own family dont want to hear about it anymore. I have nobody.

permaquandry Fri 16-Nov-12 12:44:23

Go back to your GP today, make an emergency appoitment now. you quite possibly will need CBTs too. I am incredibly forgetful, embarassingly so on some occasions but because I am in a good place now, I can laugh it off.

No, you aren't ill with flu etc, but what you have is very real to you and should be treated.

We all have irational and strange thoughts. You are just beating yourself up and making them seem more strange because of how you are feeling overall.

Please, please go back to your GP, you shouldn't have to suffer like this.

Talk to us on here. Keep strong, this CAN be sorted.

Charleebird Fri 16-Nov-12 15:40:19

I cant keep going they will think im a hypochondriac lol i am seeing doc in 2 weeks for a review. Guna be a long two weeks lol

permaquandry Sat 17-Nov-12 10:16:03

I feel for you, I really do. Just try to stay positive and focus on things that you know are real. When you get a strange thought, push it away and say 'I KNOW it's not real, it will pass' and try to do something that requires your concentration.

Make sure you spend time with family etc, keep busy.

Docs won't think you are a hypochondriac, if you are feeling bad, you must go back sooner.

Take care, keep us posted.

permaquandry Sun 18-Nov-12 10:39:16

How you doing today?

Charleebird Sun 18-Nov-12 19:03:59

Good! Feel really good. Alot more calm. No horrid thoughts atall. Not even one!
However, i have another trigger to panic attacks. Thats disturbing photos of accidents. Someone on facebook liked a group so it showed onmy home page. People who have basically been ripped to shreds! I just had the biggest panic attack and i felt like i was going to pass out. Still feel woozy and dizzy from it. Im going to make a thread and see if anyone else gets this
How r u?

permaquandry Sun 18-Nov-12 20:19:01

I think I'd have a panic attack seeing awful pictures like that. Don't look at them. I don't understand why such pictures would be made public?

I would avoid Anything that's going to upset you, even in the slightest.

Really glad you are feeling better, such positive news. Take care.

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