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Perinatal OCD - weight gain a big trigger - ds2 is now 0.4 centile. Trying to be mindful...

(5 Posts)
thunksheadontable Mon 12-Nov-12 15:42:17

Just posting here to keep my hands busy.

I took ds2 to get weighed today. It's a HUGE trigger for me because ds1 had major weight gain issues. Ds2 is dropping off charts now.

I think I managed it alright, I asked to speak to the HV privately and explained situation and that it was a huge exposure for me and they saw me privately - doing it cold turkey higher up my hierarchy. I shook like a leaf throughout the weighing but I didn't panic and since I've been home I have managed not to look up horror stories of all the things that might be wrong with him and/or weigh him repeatedly (these are my compulsions).

Trying to sit here with the feeling of anxiety and feel it, breathe into it, just be but GOD IT IS HARD. CPN is ringing in 20 mins to see how it's been. I have sought some reassurance so not a totally successful exposure but onwards and upwards.

Trying not to block thoughts too... not so easy... got to keep working on this.

Zwitterion Mon 12-Nov-12 15:48:56

Well done thanks

You did it.

Good to keep busy (and off google). What are you doing the rest of the day?

thunksheadontable Mon 12-Nov-12 16:04:48

Dh was supposed to come home at 4 but had a message from him to say that he can't make it. I hadn't told him I was doing this. Got some circular knitting needles in the post and might have a go at putting up stitches as a pleasant diversion. Realised since I posted I hadn't eaten today (!!!) so have had some toast and a coffee and biscuits. Have stopped crying - ds2 obligingly stayed asleep so is thankfully oblivious to the whole crisis! CBT tomorrow... man this is hard work. But getting there...

Zwitterion Mon 12-Nov-12 16:06:28

CBT is hard work.

But means that it's working.

Well done for eating. Good luck for tomorrow too.

thunksheadontable Mon 12-Nov-12 16:14:01

Thank you smile It really helps to have a friendly response x

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