Handholding please? Citalopram to sertraline.

[mumat39]

Hi all

I've been on citalopram for about 18 months for severe anxiety. I had to start slowly as had odd side effects at the beginning. I went up to 30 mg and started to feel a little bit more human. However, I started to not sleep, or at least couldn't get to sleep so am currently on 20mg. Went down to 10mg but could feel myself going again so GP suggested I move onto 20mg.

I still can't sleep so GP has suggested I move onto Sertraline 50mg. For some reason this is making me feel really anxious. It makes me semi smile that the drugs for anxiety are making me feel anxious.

Anyway, I've nnever felt 100% on Citalopram, and I feel sort of dizzy often and a bit spaced out most of the time. I actually feel numb to the anxiety side of things, but the zombie-ish feelings, or lack of feelings are making me feel depressed. I think I was depressed before starting Citalopram and have always had that tendency, even though I couldn't see or wouldn't acknowledge it. The anxiety and worry is still there and still stopes me from doing things that I should be doing, but it feels like I've distanced myself from it, but it's still controlling me.

I can't sleep again this evening, as usual, even though I am so so tired. I do fall asleep at some pont during the night, usually at about 2 or 3 and then can't wake up in the morning.

I have 2 young kids and I manage to look after them by I have totally forgotten how to look after myself. I don't eat we'll at all and when it comes to evenings the thought of cooking for me and my partner is so very depressing that we have been living on convenience meals forever. I cook from scratch for my kids. My eldest has lots and lots of food allergies, some of which require an epi-pen, and although my anxiety is related to that, I think I've always been a little bit sad, if that makes sense.

The house is a mess. I am a mess and I don't know why I'm stopping myself from making the switch to try sertraline. I think I want to be told that I'll feel better and there won't be any of the yucky side effects I had when I started on citalopram.

I so want to not been these meds but I know I need to be. I'm also waiting for an appointment for CBT which has been arranged by my gp.

Do all AD's make you feel like this? Is being a spaced out, woozy, insomniac a 'normal' state for me if I have to stay on these mess for the forseeable future.

I don't know what I need help with really but if anyone can advise me on whatever might help, I'd be eternally grateful. I just want to be able to sleep like a 'normal' person and wake up refreshed. I'm sure that would help massively. Is sertraline the answer?

Sorry for the long post. Many thanks in advance.

[Branflakey]

Hi. I read your message and wanted to give you a little of hope from my own experience. CBT is great, I found it gave me some really positive things to do, little things that put you back in control. You are in control, you just don't quite realise yet and CBT will help with that. I must also say that you should be kind to yourself, give yourself a break. Maybe focus on one thing every day that you a committed to do, maybe cook a meal or even give a little time to someone in your family or, some days, just getting up and being civil, without feeling guilty for all the things that you aren't doing. I found a week planner helped me, one you can look back on. I gave myself a star for doing the things on the list and I now have a gruffalow reward chart on my Xmas list. I would love to know how you are getting on....little steps

[mumat39]

Thanks Branflakey.
After posting my opening post, I went to be and actually slept ok. I woke up and read your eply and it really helped so thanks so much for that.

I also went for it and started on the Sertraline yesterday. I was really worried about it but so far it's been ok. Infant, I don't know if it's a placebo effect from changing to sertraline, or if writing my post and getting it off my chest made a difference made a difference, but my head clear for the first time in ages yesterday afternoon and I didn't feel tired at all. I still went to bed late but fell asleep quite quickly and again woke up feeling less groggy and tired.

Anyway, thanks again for your kind words. Hope you're having a lovely weekend.
xxx