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Emetophobia - my worst nightmare

(1000 Posts)
zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 18:09:02

Ds1 goes to a school set on several different sites. Today one of the sites has been closed for deep cleaning due to norovirus wiping out hundreds of children this week. There are loads of siblings in ds1's building/class and 8 of his classmates were off today.

I am a single parent (really outing myself here!) and terrified of what feels completely inevitable right now. I was awake all night last night, waiting. Shall be doing the same again tonight.

You know, I feel like I have improved a lot with my emetophobia recently. I am no longer worried about the odd v. It's the awful, debilitating violence of noro that terrifies the life out of me.

The waiting is utter torture sad

reastie Mon 26-Nov-12 07:23:43

Hi all, have been reading and lurking over the week end. I love this thread and am thankful for people understanding me but also I'm finding it quite hard to be on when I already feel really anxious IYKWIM (that isn't a moan, just saying why I haven't posted). Hope everyone is OK. I'm back to the GP this morning having seen her a week or so ago re: emet. She was going to look into what she is able to refer me to so fingers crossed for me. I'm struggling so much at the minute - there is a tummy bug (which people are apparently concerned it's noro) at work (I work at a school) and I've been barely functioning the past couple of weeks - shaking when at work from anxiety and then at home I'm so shattered from all the energy used up from worrying. My hands are in such a state from all the hand washing and I've spent the past 2 week ends with horrible nasty IBS tummy pain from all the stress of worrying all week confused .

Fynleysmommy Mon 26-Nov-12 09:08:50

Zoned out- did your ds catch anything? Xx

kerstina Mon 26-Nov-12 09:45:06

Reastie hope you get on ok at the docs. Let us know how it goes.
What has happened to zoned out and zoo hope they are ok?

MoaningMingeWhimpersAgain Mon 26-Nov-12 10:10:52

Hope everyone is ok today. DS seems to be getting over it now, no d or v since yesterday am. No one else seems to have got it, touch wood. Anxiety levels still pretty high though.

Marne Mon 26-Nov-12 10:34:41

We are still here, i have caught dd's flue thing and feel rough, had to take the anti-sickness tablets last night as i felt very poory (but not in a tummy bug way, just fluey). Dd2 is having one more day off school so i can bath her and get her looking more human like before sending her back tomorrow, she's still coughing but seems ok in herself.

Took dd1 to school and as i walked out of the playground i heard a mum saying to her dd 'if you still feel poorly later then tell the teacher', just wish people could keep there ill children at home (i know sometimes kids do make these things up but she did look pale). I'm counting down the days until they break up from school, anxiety levels always increse as the term goes on sad.

Littleplasticpeople Mon 26-Nov-12 10:38:37

I haven't read the whole thread but I suffer with this sad

It's totally about loss of control in my case. Funnily enough my fear is more about dh getting ill than me, and this is because he seems to not know when he is going to be sick hmm since we've been together there have been several instances of him vomiting and not making it to the loo/bucket etc. so I have the anxiety filled nights but asking him is he's feeling sick blush

I'm ok when my dcs are sick but worry about dh getting it. I'm obsessive about food- over cook chicken (rarely order it when out), won't eat prawns, reheated rice etc etc. I won't o to doctors surgerys in Noro season (haven't taken my dd for her 6 week check yet which was due last week) and do many of the other things people have mentioned already.

I have improved though since this peaked a few years ago and I was barely sleeping. I think for me, acknowledging it as a phobia helped- I know it's not a normal way to feel so try to over ride the fear. Christmas is always bad for me, I'm terrified of any of us getting sick and Xmas dy being ruined. I never sleep on Xmas eve for worry about this.

Marne Mon 26-Nov-12 10:51:20

Littleplastic- i am just the same with christmas, the past few years i have been ill christmas eve due to the anxiety of someone being ill and christmas being ruined. This year we are home alone and i'm trying to tell myself 'if someones ill we will just have it on another day', it doesn't help that school doesn't break up until the 21st (so still time for dd's to come down with a bug picked up from school) as soon as they break up i keep them in so they dont pick anything up before the big day, we dont do any christmas activities outside of the house (i feel guilty that we dont). I wish i could relax more as i love christmas.

Fynleysmommy Mon 26-Nov-12 11:09:51

I feel exactly the same as all of you I'm terrified about Xmas and if any of us are ill, I have to wait 7 weeks for counselling sad sending out positive thoughts to everyone smile xx

liveinazoo Mon 26-Nov-12 11:09:55

ive only beena way a few days and so many newbiesshock!
<beckons welcominglygrin>

THE GIRLS ARE BACK AT SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!<2weeks off after were sick then slept for near a week,for amyone that hsnt read back that far>

ds is still at home as he is having immune response issues.appointent for hospital has arrived-7th dec
school moaning im not sending him in,but begrudingly agreed see can get some work to do at home together on understanding he improves,hes back..yes yes i said.<my idea improved,not theirswink>

sorry so many of you are struggling

reastie i took citalopram fora while-starting at 10mg for 10days,then up t 20 stopped any major side effects happening<i was pregnant at the time>felt bit odd,but eating didnt make me feel worsesmile

healthy vibes wafted through the filtered air of the threadgrin
hope you all have agood day!

Badvocsanta Mon 26-Nov-12 12:13:51

Hi all.
Poor ds2 really poorly with a nasty chest infection. He was coughing so much in sat night he was sick twice, poor thing.
I was ok with it. Sort of. As I knew it was the cough not a bug iyswim?
But just been into the chemist to pick Dhs prescriptn up and there was a child in there won't a huge sick bowl in front of her sad
So my phobia is in full on mode again sad
I hate this sad
So now am really worried ds2 will get it - he is so poorly already! And of course that I will get it sad

Badvocsanta Mon 26-Nov-12 12:15:40

Good luck reastie x

reastie Mon 26-Nov-12 12:23:19

Well, GP has signed me off for a week with 'physical exhaustion' in the hopes the citalopram will start to kick in and a week at home away from the anxiety of catching tummy bugs from school will relax me a bit and make me cope a bit better. Haven't told work yet I'm too scared - any suggestions how to play it/how much to tell them? I was thinking of emailing them and saying GP has signed me off for a week pending another apt next Monday with 'physical exhaustion' and that it's related to some anxiety problems that I've been suffering with recently. That I have been given medication which I hope should help the situation in the next week or so and will be back as soon as possible. Does that sound OK? I don't want them to know about my phobia but equally don't want them to start prying and asking questions, so the more I can tell them (without them having to ask questions back) the better.

roundabout1 Mon 26-Nov-12 13:19:42

reastie - I'm glad you have been signed off a week. I think that sounds a good thing to tell work, you are giving information but not everything iykwim. I hope you will be able to get some rest this week.

bad - I would be traumatised by that sight. There's just so many things to worry about with this isn't there & it seems to be everywhere at the moment.

I have braved the library toddler group this morning with dd2. All was going well until a friend who had been sitting next to me said at the end that her dh was at home with a stomach bug. Now I am worrying over that. She also made me feel worse not deliberately by saying how such a big would knock my dd1 for six. She has a post viral illness so takes weeks to recover from anything. So now I have more worries, they were always there but she has brought them to the front of my mind.

I too worry about Christmas, last Christmas was the first that I wasn't ill with bad cold or flu for 3 years, I normally struggle through xmas day & then it hits me & am properly ill for days. Last year instead we had stomach bug the week before Christmas but were all well for the day. Dd1 has a hospital appointment on the 17th Dec & I'm dreading it because of germs, she could end up missing the Christmas things yet again, and then by the time we have all had it I will loose loads of Christmas preparation time.

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Mon 26-Nov-12 21:33:26

There was a puddle of vomit in the bus stop we have to walk past on the school run. The bus stop is right outside a pub so I'm hoping its drunken vomit rather than child going to school vomit. Can't stop thinking about it as I had to walk past it 4 times today.

I did end up telling one of the mums I have this phobia as I was walking with her and I visibly shuddered when I saw it and told her ds to watch out as I panicked he would step in it. She's lovely so wouldn't and didn't judge (although did ask how I manage with 2 children to which I replied, badly).

MoaningMingeWhimpersAgain Mon 26-Nov-12 23:38:44

I really thought DS was better and was going to send him back to preschool tomorrow. But he has just been ill again all over his bed sad And his tummy looks quite distended. He hadn't vomited since Thursday so that seems really weird for a bug as well, but he has been eating again today, been really keen to eat.

I don't know if it's a bug or not. If it is, it's weird that neither DD (who shares a room with him) or me (chief mopper-upper) has been ill <touch wood>

MoaningMingeWhimpersAgain Tue 27-Nov-12 02:46:11

DD ill too now. I'm in bits. Will be ok, just not yet,

reastie Tue 27-Nov-12 07:29:35

Oh moaning sad <hugs> don't know what to say but big hugs

Roundabout well done you braving the group but sorry about the worry that came from it. I HATE it when you try so hard to do something you find hard with this and then it's made so much extra hard with things like that and you wish you hadn't bothered trying

DD was up in the night and I couldn't get back to sleep so I turned the radio on and they were talking about the stories on the front pages of the papers today - which apparently is all about noro as it's reaching high levels already confused - that was probably the worst thing I needed to hear to help me sleep! Feeling really shaky in an anxious way this morning despite being signed off for the week. I'm wondering if it's the medication I'm on - GP did say it would get worse before it got better. But I'm only on a half dose as building it up.

Marne Tue 27-Nov-12 09:26:16

So sorry Moaning sad, hope they are better soon and you dont get it.

Dd2 has gone back to school today after her bad cold, most of her class have been off with tummy bug but are now all back, i am hoping that we have avoided it. Dd1 is now poorly but crossing my fingers that it is the same as dd2 has had. I'm feeling rough too (flu like).

I was ment to be going to the hospital today for accupuncture but one of the mums in the playground had been listning to the radio about noro being in the hospitals so i phoned up and canceled my appointment (i now feel silly) sad.

There doesn't seem to be many off school at the moment so i'm hoping it has calmed down a bit, i think i will be staying in most of this week, not going out unless i have too.

MoaningMingeWhimpersAgain Tue 27-Nov-12 10:14:12

Bad night here with DD.DS is very perky though, he was sick just once. DD ill all night so we are both exhausted.I am freaking out a fair bit.

Managing so far though.

Marne, don't blame you at all for cancelling your appt, I declined a xmas party once just in case one of us caught it, noro was rife at the time.

Marne Tue 27-Nov-12 10:23:27

<hugs> you sound like your coping quite well, i tend to cope when it happens as long as i'm kept busy, its suprising how well we can cope when we have too, its the anxiety of 'what if?' that is the hard bit. I'm worried sick that dd2 will bring the bug home, her imune system is low after having this horrid cold, luckily her TA knows how important it is to make sure she keeps washing her hands, she knows if dd2 gets it she could end up in hospital.

MoaningMingeWhimpersAgain Tue 27-Nov-12 12:12:20

YY Marne, coping with them being ill is ok - it's the waiting to get ill myself that is killing me.

I had been worrying to about managing school - taking and collecting DD if I got ill but now she is ill too in a way I am a bit less worried because I don't need to organise school runs. It has, however, confirmed that whatever it is, is contagious. With a bastardly long incubation period sad

reastie Tue 27-Nov-12 13:00:55

sad moaning . It is the waiting and the contagious part that's so bad isn't it

Can I ask you advice please ladies as having a bit of a panic. I've been feeling really nauseous the past couple of hours and in a bit of a state about it. It's not in my tummy though IYKWIM, but I do keep getting waves of nausea which are quite bad and feel like I might be sick, but, like I say, it's not in my tummy. I've started taking citalopram recently, one of the side effects is n/v - do you think it could be down to this? in which case, are there any anti emetics that would be good to take or should I be OK? I'm only on a half dose. It's not affecting my appetite and I don't feel unwell, but I do feel shattered and anxious/stressed. It could be all that making me feel sick but it feels different to my anxiety nausea. Sorry to ask when everyone has so much going on, but feeling very confused .

MoaningMingeWhimpersAgain Tue 27-Nov-12 13:24:55

Dry mouth and nausea are both listed as 'very common' side effects of citalopram - it may be worth speaking to a pharmacist (over the phone?) to see if there is any suitable medication you could try.

But in all honesty, antiemetics do tend to reduce how frequently people vomit, but mostly they do little for the nausea, IYKWIM.

But yes, anxiety can make you nauseous and tummyache/diarrhoea so sometimes it's hard to know if its the phobia or illness making you feel unwell. It's totally shit. <hugs all round> <and a squirt of dettol for good measure>

Marne Tue 27-Nov-12 13:28:03

You could take domperidone (Motilium), i took them when i was on anti-d's last year, i found once i was on a higher dose i felt better, apparently that is often the case. It could be more down to anxiety rather than a side effect, anti-d's take a while to work and quite often you can feel more anxious in the first few weeks.

MoaningMingeWhimpersAgain Tue 27-Nov-12 13:29:22

I like this website, it's accurate and evidence based. It says that they are trying to develop a vaccine for norovirus.

I so so hope they do. I know there is now one for rotavirus but you tend to develop some immunity to that one so it's less terrible.

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