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Emetophobia - my worst nightmare

(1000 Posts)
zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 18:09:02

Ds1 goes to a school set on several different sites. Today one of the sites has been closed for deep cleaning due to norovirus wiping out hundreds of children this week. There are loads of siblings in ds1's building/class and 8 of his classmates were off today.

I am a single parent (really outing myself here!) and terrified of what feels completely inevitable right now. I was awake all night last night, waiting. Shall be doing the same again tonight.

You know, I feel like I have improved a lot with my emetophobia recently. I am no longer worried about the odd v. It's the awful, debilitating violence of noro that terrifies the life out of me.

The waiting is utter torture sad

amillionyears Fri 09-Nov-12 20:41:19

To the others.
Can you describe which part of it all is the yukky bit, or will that not help.

I realised on a thread about this last month, that my mum is a bit like this.
Even when I was very little, me or a sibling used to have to wipe up sick, as mum was extremely reluctant to.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 20:51:37

Tuttu, no apology needed. I appreciate the support smile Yes, as far as I know bleach is the only thing to actually kill norovirus.

Sosotired, good idea re preparation. I actually went out and bought some diarolyte today too.

Amillion. Thank you for that. Do you have any tips for banishing the thoughts at night? I'm just not quite sure how to do it, it can become quite overwhelming.

BB, sorry to hear that you struggle with sleep too (I do even at the best of times, am currently attempting to wage war against my insomnia with a whole host of lavendar/camomile/relaxation type products blush) Good luck for life as a fellow single parent. Can't help but smile a tiny bit at your one fear about it! I would have been the same had my xh not been away every time, without fail, either of the dc's got poorly even when we were together. He is actually travelling now which doesn't bode well either hmm as he is still pretty present in the dc's lives and would probably lend a hand if he were about. Am fairly new to this single parent lark too and you sound very sorted but I'm happy to chat about it if you ever fancy.

amillionyears Fri 09-Nov-12 20:57:16

No tips exactly, just if that thought comes into your head, think, "I will ignore it".
And repeat , and repeat.
It does take practice.
I have before now put a note under my pillow as well , just saying, "ignore, ignore, ignore". So I know the note is there when I feel it, and know what I have to do when in my sleepy state.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 20:57:52

amillion, for me I think it's the total loss of control combined with not knowing when/if it will end. That and just the utterly horrible feeling of bad nausea and v. I can handle other people's v if I, very selfishly, know I can't catch it.

sorry to hear about your experience as a child. I am trying so hard to not let this effect my dc's and try so hard to be relaxed about it all but I'm afraid that this week I have been getting quite strict with my dc's about hand washing and this evening ds1 (who is already a terrible worrier sad) is really worried about getting the bug, poor baby.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 21:02:39

Thank you,chocolate. I shall look into that (never heard of venlafaxine)

Hope you continue to go from strength to strength. As the mother of an asthmatic i know that there is nothing worse than having a very sick child in hospital.

amillionyears Fri 09-Nov-12 21:15:18

Not sure if I can help, but here goes.
when/if it will end - this may be the easiest part. It will end, it absolutely always does.
horrible feeling of bad nausea. Yes it is yuk. Maybe you and others with emetophobia feel it worse than the rest of us?
total loss of control. Interesting. Are you like this about other things in your life that are out of your control? Such as for example, if you are a passenger in a car or bus?

If I am making things worse, please feel very free to tell me to get lost!

sosotiredagain123 Fri 09-Nov-12 21:19:08

i also suffer with this and must say it is horrible ferry journeys etc terrify me. you will cope though and come out the other side

JulietMontague Fri 09-Nov-12 21:26:31

I'm an emetophobe and find night time the worst. DS has this bug one night last week. It broke my heart that he was so upset about being sick - I know he got that from me sad. Anyway we survived and I found being strict with myself such as insisting 'im fine, nothing bad will happen' and calming breathing techniques very effective. It will always pass, probably quicker than you think and nothing is bad as you imagine. It's a horrendous feeling and hard to imagine when you don't suffer from it.

TramadolJacket Fri 09-Nov-12 21:28:48

Op, I really feel for you, I suffer with this also.

I ip

TramadolJacket Fri 09-Nov-12 21:36:10

Op, I really feel for you, I suffer with this also.

I totally agree regarding the loss of control aspect. I guess I would also be stocking up on anti bacterial soap/ disinfectant so not much practical advice really, although I find sometimes I can take my mind off it with a good book or DVD. I know it sounds cliched but sometimes distraction really does seem to help.

TramadolJacket Fri 09-Nov-12 21:38:00

blush sorry, not sure what happened there!

HousewifefromBethlehem Fri 09-Nov-12 21:39:42

Just to let you know antibacterial hand gel DOESN'T kill norovirus. The gel provides a nice smooth culture for it to grow!! Washing hands is the best way to get it off your hands. It doesn't kill it, it dislodges it so is washed away. <good old radio 2>

Don't touch your face either if you can help it, and obviously no nail biting.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Fri 09-Nov-12 21:40:20

Sosotired my emetophobia goes back to a ferry journey, I think. I was on a school trip, and the journey home was really, really rough. Everyone was being sick. I wasn't, but I felt so ill. The boat stunk, the noise was horrendous and as it was night time we couldn't see what was going on outside. I really thought we were going to die.

Now I associate being sick with those feelings. So if someone is sick around me, I panic I am going to catch it. I can cope of DS1 has an attack of his cyclical vomiting syndrome because I won't catch it, but if someone is sick because of a bug, I panic like hell. I just can't help it. I know I won't die. I know nothing bad will happen to me, but I just can't rationalise it when I am panicking.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 21:43:00

Thank you Juliet & Tramadol.

No, amillion, you are not making it worse at all. It can be nice to talk about it in an even, unemotional way actually. To kind of logic it out. Am not too bad with the control thing in other areas of my life although I definitely do have some traits. The sickness thing is the worst. I don't love flying ever since a very scary experience in my twenties but talk my way through it in my head, more than anything so the fear doesn't pass on to my dc's.

Am starting to try out your ignoring technique. I like it smile

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 21:49:40

Poor you Tuttu, that ferry journey sounded horrific sad I am very similar in terms of my fear of catching it but being able to cope if it is not contagious (ds2 was sick a few weeks ago but it was from his antibiotics and didn't bother me at all as I know he is prone to bring up medicine, especially when he is feeling poorly with a fever) Mine stems from me and my whole family getting salmonella as a very young child. We all spent a night I still remember vividly well over 30 years on, being very very ill indeed. My mum was too ill herself to look after or comfort me. She has also always been a bit 'funny' about cleanliness and isn't too worried about her own v but runs away from other people's.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 21:50:51

Sorry, just realised I'm calling you Tuttu but you are actually Tuttut blush

The fear is messing with my brain...

corblimeymadam Fri 09-Nov-12 22:27:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

corblimeymadam Fri 09-Nov-12 22:34:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

liveinazoo Fri 09-Nov-12 22:45:38

big big hugs.another emetaphobe here.ive just started another thread as didnt want to hijack yours!.x

liveinazoo Fri 09-Nov-12 22:45:47

big big hugs.another emetaphobe here.ive just started another thread as didnt want to hijack yours!.x

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 22:45:56

Thanks bb, he looks great and both locations are really near me. Have recently started a similar sort of therapy but not specifically emet focused. Will give it a bit longer but good to know of a back up if it doesn't work as well as I'd like it to!

Think I know that website, will have a look now...

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 23:46:30

really think ds2 might be the first victim after all. He is tossing & turning & moaning/crying in his sleep. the ridiculous thing is me staying up all night listening & waiting which then becomes a vicious cycle of exhaustion making the anxiety so much worse (and lowers my resistance to the infection sad

Stupid stupid head.

corblimeymadam Fri 09-Nov-12 23:52:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 23:54:18

You are so lovely. Thank you. My stupid sensitive eyes are watering.

Sleep well, sweet dreams smile

liveinazoo Sat 10-Nov-12 00:21:45

like my therapist says if i was scared of flying i neednt go abroad,sadly having kids means avoidance is impossible sometimes

you doing great,really you are

i never thought id live to see the day where i could even be in the same room as someone who had just been sick and here i am just having to deal with the stair explosion!

i doubt we will ever be "free" of this but its learning to LIVE with it<as in living our lives and working around it rather than stopping and stop doing anythingwhich i hold up my hand and admit i have sont thus far>

i am very gratefull fo the fabulous support i get from my psychologist.he very understanding.the last time my tribe were ill<slapped cheek and 2 of the 4 threw up at the start before we found out that was what they had>he rang me every day and tried his best to send calming vibes my way<it also helped him realise just how debilitated i felt/behaved>

fro the age of 13 til last year when i bit the bullet and admitted to a professional this was what had been main source my MH issues <i have ocd fuelled by this and depression> i was embarrassed to admit to anyone i couldnt deal with it,couldnt even say teh word sick i was that paetners always had to tend the kids and i struggled to be near them for 4 days after they had been ill case i got anything

its good to be open as isolating the issues make you feel "stupid" when really you are not the only one and people have been really supportive

hugs and calming vibes wafting your way!

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