Have had bad patches since I was about 16. Have managed to avoid them for about the last 5 year's but things have been getting worse for the past few months and I'm now at the stage of insomnia, napping through the day, tiredness, doing anything to avoid thinking, avoiding doing stuff at work.
I think the work thing is the worst bit that's causing all the rest and I need to get it sorted but I'm just so overwhelmed I don't know where to start. And I don't know who to talk to or how to bring it up without giving anyone the impression that I'm a liability.
Dh doesn't know although knows I've had issues in the past, and I don't know how to broach it with him.
Oh golly. Tough one. 1. Tell your DP. You may need tothinnk about the way you phrase it. make it clear that you are not expecting him to wave a magic wand, but that he can help you by doing xyz being a sounding board for example.
Did you have any treatment in the past? Counselling or ADs? 2. Talk to your GP about options. You dont have to accept these immediately, but I think it would help to know what treatments are available to you.
Exercise helps. I always found yoga was good, and these days I am well into ZUMBA. I might feel shitty th day after, but it helps for an evening.
I would also make sure that you are getting 5 portions of fruit and veg a day. It really helps wit hthe energy levels.
I don't really want to comment on what to do at work. I've had very supportive and very unsupportive bosses (the ltter made me worse). Do you have a supportive line manager?
Had both counselling and ADs in the past, but only for a short period. Can't do ADs at the moment because we are TTC (!) and I'm still BFing dc1.
Don't want to say too much, but I don't have a line manager as such and my 'boss' will not know how to deal with it.
Thank you for the advice.
I think I need to accept that depression is a real thing so that when I explain it to anyone I'm not trying to minimise it or feeling embarrassed about it.
When I first went to a GP about it in 2005 they told me I was being silly and I was just stressed about exams. 5 months later I ODed on painkillers and ended up in hospital. Thankfully I have a different GP now but it does make me wary.
Right, I spoke to someone more senior than me at work who was very supportive and made a couple of suggestions. It was more me saying "I've got into a bit of a mess" though, rather than "I'm depressed and not coping". But either way the getting out of bother is the important thing I think.
I will talk to dp tonight. And consider making a GP appt for next week but I'm not keen.
Thank you. I do feel proud of myself but also keep crying. I think it's all coming out now. I've been burying my head in the sand and avoiding thinking about it for a while. That's how I always get into these messes.
Thank you, both. That is useful information, dewdrop.
Talk with dp went fairly well. It started off very badly but ended very well iyswim.
When he realised how seriously upset I was it went fine. We'll see how things go. I've asked for more time in the evenings so I can catch up on work stuff if I need to and dp will watch dc and start bedtime routine.
I'm thinking about swapping the evening bf for a cup of milk so bedtime can happen with my input just being a kiss and a cuddle - though obviously I would generally want more involvement than that!
On Monday at work I will begin to deal with my backlog and I now have a strategy for moving forward. My senior colleague phoned me again tonight to check I was okay. That made me feel better too.
Thank you again for your sensible thoughts. I will try to feel less angry/upset/guilty with myself!
Just a really quick comment, I conceived and birthed while taking ads. I had advice from my gp and the local mh service. We discussed the potential risks for my baby but for me it was either have a baby on ad or not have a baby.
Dc1 is 19mo, so an energetic, affectionate, wonderful, knackering toddler
I've had a good weekend, ohgood. I feel like I've been able to relax more than I have in a couple of months. Tomorrow will be hard but I'm hoping to get a good night's sleep tonight and be ready to tackle work in the morning.