Im a sahm with 3dcs dp works 12/15hrs a day to enable me to be at home. I have on the surface a happy home life. I am able to be at home, i dont have to worry about money as dp provides for us pays my car insurance and other stuff.
But as the title says my heads a mess. Every morning i hate the fact that i have woke up. The house is a mess there are piles of washing and ironing every where there are always dishes to be washed. I just cant seem to do it. I cant cope with the kids they are wearing me down. I cant cope with anything even simple tasks. I just want to go to bed and cry. I cant face food. i struggle to get dresses. i dread having to leave the house as i really cant face people. I shout at the kids over stupid stuff like ds whos 7 i asked him to get himself some socks but he couldnt find any so i went mad at him but its not his fault as his socks could be anywhere in the house and thats my fault.
I am trying desperatly to keep my head up buts its like im drowning but every now and again i find the strength to hold it together but this lasts no longer than a week then im back to square 1.
Dp is trying to help me but how can i tell whats wrong if i dont know myself. Im pushing him away and i dont want that. Im so paramoid he will find someone nicer and happier than me and then dcs will go with him cos they dont want to be with miserable mummy. I feel like such a fraud as i really dont have anything to worry about.
I have no family on my side i dont speak to my mother and the rest of the family have took her side. I have asked my HV for help i saw her in the shop she asked if i was ok and i broke down she took my number told me she would call but hasnt this was a week ago. I went to my dr he asked me to fill out a phq9 form and go back i havnt.
I did have pnd when baby was born at the begining of the year i thought i was over it i as seemed to have a good couple of months but these last 3 weeks have really taken its toll.
I need help if not im going to loose everyone that means the world to me
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Mental health
My heads a mess
strugglin · 08/11/2012 08:21
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