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finally succumbed and am on AD's

(8 Posts)
vanilla01 Tue 06-Nov-12 16:01:53

looking back i think i have been depressed for a long long time - but just kept putting it to the back of my head and tried to cope best i can, but of late i have had illness after illness, i am now so low i cant cant really go any lower i am finding it so hard to cope

I have never liked myself very much, low self esteem and think everyone i meet also doesnt like me!! ive had this from a very young age, but as ive got older i have always ended up with very controlling partners who also told me/tells me im stupid useless ect. my husband doesn't have a lot of interest in anything i want to do, in fact tries to stop me from doing most things i want to do. he doesnt listen to anything that may have happened to me in the day that i find exciting, so i dont tell him anything now. im just hear as a servant to him and the kids. i have no identity. most of my thoughts are negative.

anyway over the years ive got lower and lower now to the point i cant function. i suppose i knew this day would come, that i would wear myself down. so the doctor has suggested fluoxetine for 6 months. i said i would give them a go.

Good or bad idea??? any advise from you lovely guys xxxx

OneMoreChap Tue 06-Nov-12 16:07:42

Fluoxetine helped but talking therapy helped more.
I used a combination of counselling and CBT.

bongobaby Tue 06-Nov-12 16:13:03

vanilla glad for you that you have been to see the doctor. This will be a good way forward for you now. I took a while to admit to myself that I was depressed as like you to have had alot of what you have said happen to me.
Everyday is like a weight has been lifted from me on my AD and I am now able to cope in a much better way. Learn to love yourself and tell yourself you are not stupid or useless. comments like that only come from people that are insecure about themselves.
You have taken the first and important steps to fixing you so well done.

Iceaddict Tue 06-Nov-12 16:22:27

Nothing wrong with that! i took sertraline with PND. They really helped, but my advice would be, Get yourself on top of things with the AD's then get some counselling. Take it one step at a time. I've trained as a therapist since having PND, partly because of my own experiences and can honestly say counselling helped me with stuff I didn't even realise bothered me. Good luck you're doing the right thing smile

vanilla01 Tue 06-Nov-12 16:36:32

thank u guys /emo/te/1.gif
i was actually thinking about counselling - i am going back to my doctors for an update in two weeks to see how the AD's are so i think i will mention it to her.

i think i had to reach this point in order to finally admit that i have depression and to do something about it.

TheSilverPussycat Tue 06-Nov-12 17:41:02

I have taken paroxatine on and off for the last 20 years or so. I started this latest course in May 2011, it got me together enough to realise that the source of my depression was not some 'mh illness' but a perfectly reasonable and valid reaction to an unhappy marriage to a fuckwit cocklodger. I began divorce proceedings in Sept 2011, and in Aug this year he finially moved out. From the moment I started proceedings, my depression lifted, though of course the year was v stressful. Now I am happy again!

Just saying. This might or might not fit your circs.

vanilla01 Tue 06-Nov-12 18:05:27

TheSilverPussycat - (fuckwit cocklodger) lol - that made me laugh!! im so glad your happy now and you were strong enough to get rid and get your life back
;-) u are an inspiration xx

yes alot of it i know is the person i live with. the controlling, anxious feelings i get when i know he is on his way home - cause i know he is going to pick holes in something as soon as he gets home. not allowing me to be who i want to be, not having an opinion, but i am a very weak person and im dont think i could go through all that - plus i have very little children and wouldnt want to hurt them.

i was also very insecure before hand too from a very young age, and would always look on the negative rather than the positive, maybe thats why i go for such strong men?? i dont know. its just added to my stress and anxieties, but i always thought i could handle it until now. i always had a bit of umf in me that kept me going - i didnt realise over time that i would eventually wear myself completely down almost into a coma like state - finding hard to function and making myself ill. ;-(

TheSilverPussycat Tue 06-Nov-12 18:25:35

This is the thread where I got my strength smile

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