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Lonely, have I bad communication skills, or just crap. Sorry long.

(2 Posts)
SushiPaws Fri 02-Nov-12 10:19:49

I thought I was happy, had some good friends and supportive dh. But over the last year I've managed to alienate myself.

I know one very good friend has slowly disappeared as our kids started school this year and we live at different sides if the city. I'm free at weekends but she always seems to have plans with other people.

I tried to further the friendships with the mums I knew from nursery who are now at school, but I am just not that confident and they're all far more successful and motivated than me.

My closest friend seems to have backed off from me. I fear my offers of help with her baby have come across as interfering. I didn't mean this and only thought about it after. Now I don't know what to say and I'm scared to outright ask her in case she says this is the case. It's unfair as she was very demanding with my dd but I put it down to her way of helping and didn't tell her it was too much.

I have another friend who I was devoting allot of time to as she was suicidal, she didn't want anyone else to know. So I tried to encourage mutual friends to spend time with her but without telling them of how deep her depression was. I encouraged her to go to the doctor and when they recomended ad's I told her how much they'd helped me with my pnd. She told mutual friends I was pushing her to take medication and now I've been ostracised from the group.

Now I've just told my dh I don't want anything for Xmas as we are really struggling with money. He's just told me he's dealing with it and I have no right to tell him how to organise his present for me. I can't seem to talk to him without upsetting him.

I am self employed so I don't see people there. Am feeling lonely, I wonder if I'm not a nice person as I seem to have lost people who I thought were good friends.

Henners1 Fri 02-Nov-12 17:54:57

Hi sushi paws,I can tell just from reading this that you are a nice person and a good friend, you care. I'm sure that if you asked your friends they would be surprised at how you are feeling. I think when you get to a certain age people just have such busy lives and its harder to keep in touch and meet up that often. I have friends that I know from school and we probably get together once a month if that and it's usually down to me to organise it, I just know that they are rubbish at organising things so accept thats the way it is.

Have you spoken to your husband about how you are feeling, it might help to talk it through with him x

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