I need to talk to someone

[gallifrey]

I have been chatting to someone online about the issues I have but I didn't know he had a girlfriend and she doesn't like it :(

I need counselling or something, driving myself potty and can't stop thinking about stuff, it's like I'm obsessed.

[joanna1990marie]

Do you know why you are feeling like this? Speaking from experience as I have battled with depression and post traumatic stress disorder. I know what caused these. X

[gallifrey]

I have no idea why I am having these thoughts, been having them since I was a child but recently I have been obsessed with this thing. I can't tell anyone I know in real life they would seriously think I am very disturbed. I was talking to someone about it as he feels the same but like I said his girlfriend found out and has got the wrong idea and now he can't talk to me anymore and I miss that.

[joanna1990marie]

Have you had counselling before? I would recommend it, if you don't feel comfortable sharing it with a family member or friend other than this person you can no longer speak to. Trust me when I say no one will think you're disturbed, I'm still a bit messed up about alot of things but luckily my mum is really logical and puts things in perspective. I was convinced I was goin to die for a long time after my dad was killed in an accident and I started imagining things that were unhealthy, I still can't sleep on my own because I think I'll die, I know I'm irrational but sometimes when you have yourself convinced of somethin it's hard to snap out of that mind set. Behavioral therapy is good too.

[gallifrey]

I have never had counselling no, but at this point I am willing to try it. How do I go about getting some? Do I see my doctor first although I don't think I would even be comfortable telling him.

[lucyellenmum]

Your doctor has heard it all before, its a professional relationship, he is not allowed to judge you! Please don't worry about talking to your doctor about this issue, it will help him refer you to the appropriate help.

[lucyellenmum]

You can self refer for counselling, but on the NHS that is less easy - go to your doctor, it will be OK x

[gallifrey]

thank you x

[nomorelostweekends]

You don't need to tell your doctor the content of your thoughts, just that you are having them and they are highly distressing. Sounds like 'intrusive thoughts' -they pop into your head and mean nothing, but it is easy to start worrying about them and start becoming really aware of them. Do you try not to think about them? That can feel like the right thing to do but as soon as you do they come back again!! Is that anything like it?? Honestly nothing to worry about and really common, and that includes ones with fairly extreme contents. The thoughts often end up a form of OCD and some CBT can really help.

[gallifrey]

It's like a constant thought in my head all the time, no matter what I'm doing it's there. I can't say what it is but it certainly isn't normal. It's not dangerous btw!

[nomorelostweekends]

Is it the content or the fact it is there that bothers you?

[gallifrey]

bit of both, I have had these thoughts and feelings for a long long time, usually I don't think about it at all for ages, but the last couple of weeks I have been obsessing about it.

[lucyellenmum]

Is it about something that has happened to you? something that you want to do? or just something that bothers you? I have some pretty weird unwanted thoughts, i think you'll find its quite common. Not trivialising because weird thoughts are fine and dandy so long as they dont bother you, if they bother you it is not ok and you can get help to make it stop.

[nomorelostweekends]

I reckon a few sessions of CBT might really help. I know it's hard to be reassured by a random stranger over the Internet, but it really is not that 'strange'. If you went round and asked people you would find it quite common-there are even really well known ones that people report frequently in studies. I have my own one that I never mention but makes me cringe. Probably the main difference between us is not the contents of the thoughts but that i pay absolutely no attention to it and let it fly by like a cloud. Now you are probably going to think I am not normal!!! But honestly, I am a fully functioning grown up and you would never know to look at me. I also know from sharing with others its really not that unusual. I don't doubt how upsetting it can be though, and am not trying to dismiss it. Good luck, hope you feel able to speak to your GP about it.

[gallifrey]

Sorry I am not being very clear, basically I have BIID and the thoughts I am having are to do with that.

[Salbertina]

One of the most reassuring things I've heard recently:

"You are NOT your thoughts"

They are just that, thoughts , they are not the essence of you, ifykwim? It can help to just "notice" a thought, don't judge it/yourself then consciously "retune" to thinking about something else. Do this each time the thought arises.

However, you do sound troubled about it so counselling may help?

[Salbertina]

What is BIID?

[gallifrey]

Body integrity identity disorder.

[nomorelostweekends]

Sorry gallifrey, i realise now that its a bit more complex for you than i had assumed. Its really understandable that you are missing talking to him, i can imagine it makes a massive difference to discuss it with someone who experiences the same feelings. Have you tried to access any specialist support? I guess some counsellors might not have experience in this area and it might be useful to try and speak with someone face to face who has worked with other people who have BIID. Or is there a support group that meets up? I am happy to keep talking on here if it helps. Hope you are not too low today

[gallifrey]

thanks for replying, I have never told anyone how I feel other than this person.

and you guys on here now xx