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Ok, I took a silly online test for autism and my score was higher than what I thought but some things are making sense now, can anyone talk to me about it please.

(24 Posts)
CrapBag Fri 26-Oct-12 22:06:37

I'm just going to cut and paste my posts from my chat thread. I am not as bothered as I first was but I can't get it out of my head. People have often thought I am 'odd'. I tend to think I am a miserable cow but that doesn't make me happy about it. Now I am wondering if there could be an actual reason.

CrapBag Fri 26-Oct-12 22:07:14

I am not autistic. It has never been mentioned. There was a thread the other day about a mnetter and she linked to this test here. I have taken it twice and scored 27 and 33.

I know I have 'issues' which many people have always picked up on. People frequently 'joke' about me having OCD, I don't. But I do have certain, traits I suppose. I am blunt and to the point, that is my personality. I like structure and routine, things like that. I struggle socially sometimes unless with my friends but even then sometimes I would just rather stay at home but I make myself do things which I am glad about after but if I went with my initial thought, I would probably stay in a lot.

I have never seen myself as autistic and DH scoffed when I told him about the test but I do seem to have a few of the traits and now I am worrying about it.

CrapBag Fri 26-Oct-12 22:08:48

See I think that having a diagnosis would help me in that when people seem slightly 'off' and think that I am weird or make comments about the way I am (and it doesn't always seem in a way I am happy with) I would like to be able to say "actually, can you not make jokes about the way I am, its autistic traits" or something along those lines. I get fed up of feeling like people are laughing at me because I am slightly 'odd', which they do frequently and seem to think it is ok.

I actually never noticed how 'odd' until I made my group of good friends that I have now. I told my best friend about my 27 score the other day and her immediate reply was "are you actually surprised though" so maybe others have thought it. I do know that she likes my honesty though. Not quite so sure about others.

Interesting about the eye contact. I never thought about it directly, but I rarely look anyone in the eye and when I am talking to people I tend to look anywhere but eyes and if I make contact then its very brief, I don't like it.

I always thought I was pretty sociable but when I don't have contact with my friends for even a week, I will start thinking of the reasons why I don't want contact and why they bother me, then I see them and think that I am being silly and they are really nice, then I don't see them again and the cycle starts again.

I actually can't stop thinking about this now. It won't go away. Not in a "shit I am panicking" way but in a burning curiosity way.

CrapBag Fri 26-Oct-12 22:09:58

I still keep thinking about this. I have never actually known anyone with autism and I know my children are fine.

I just don't know if I have a slightly 'odd' personality or not. I'll give you some examples which keep coming to me.

I look at car number plates all the time, for some reason I have to check the first letter, or now the 01/02/03 to see how old it is.

I know songs from the first note, mainly 90's stuff but if I hear something a couple of times then I know it. People won't play music quizzes against me at all.

I have a good group of friends and we do socialise but every single time I am due to do something, I want to cancel. I make myself go most of the time (sometimes I do cancel and immediately feel calmer when I do) and I am ok but I really would be happy to just stay in. I have to go out for the kids sake though. It bothers me to go out in the evenings because it upsets my routine. I like routines. A lot. I HATE anything interrupting it, I can't stand getting phone calls because they are interrupting me but I can't not answer it. I always end up shitty with whoever is on the phone because they have interrupted me. I have routines for everything, even the way I eat and the order I eat things in. I don't like trying new foods. I physically cannot bring myself to do it and I eat the same things all the time.

I get 'accused' (for want of a better word) of having OCD. I haven't, I don't think but I like structure and routine and I also like lists and having places for everything. It isn't so much about cleanliness, its tidyness and I hate it when something has been moved or it isn't in the 'right' place. Obviously with an untidy DH and 2 young children this is a pita.

I am blunt. I don't particularly care, I think that there is nothing wrong with being honest (not rude, I try not to be rude) but people pussy foot around far too much trying to please and not upset others. It pisses me off.

I am not sympathetic. If someone is badly hurt, I feel bad for them. For a little bit then I think they should get over it. If it is something minor then they shouldn't be making a fuss in the first place. I find it difficult to understand when someone else is in pain because I can't feel it, which makes no sense.

I have ditched groups of friends before because they were shitty friends. I have no problems doing this. I do love my friends now but I can get to the point where I feel like I want to ditch some because they don't make an effort and I get the excuse "oh you know I am unorganised" etc. It doens't take 2 seconds out of your day to fucking reply to a message etc. Things like this make me want to ditch people.

I don't like physical contact. I do with my children, to the point where I want more and they want to be off playing. I don't mind hugging my nan and DH, but it is always initiated by them, never me. I loathe it with a passion when my MIL does it or anyone else really.

I am just a miserable cow really.

CrapBag Fri 26-Oct-12 22:10:55

I also get irrationally angry when people change plans, or I am organising something and someone just invites someone else along, who we don't know at all, or very well.

Also my friends and I are having a get together this weekend, It is doing my nut in trying to organise it. I was originally taking a dish that came from a packet, My friend said she could make it so I said brilliant as its my favourite. Now she has decided that she is bringing too much and not making this dish. I am already taking other things now so there is a faff with trying to get someone else to bring this. Something stupid like this makes me soooo annoyed and want to cancel the whole thing, but I can't. I am now just dreading the whole evening and I can't be bothered. I would rather be staying home, not doing much of an evening like always.

glitch Fri 26-Oct-12 22:11:09

Why are you worrying? If you are, you are, are that might help you understand your behaviours / personality. If not, then you are still you.

It has been said that everyone is on the spectrum somewhere. Some people manage without noticing a difference in life, others have personality traits, and others need help. It's not a bad thing.

glitch Fri 26-Oct-12 22:13:15

Sorry to add, you are still you if you turn out to have autism too!! blush

Crawling Fri 26-Oct-12 22:15:06

May i suggest you take some other online disorder tests before you panic as i score highly on borderline scizoid schizophrenia bipolar DID and anti social depression and ptsd and ocd tests i only have one diagnosis could possibly get a diagnosis for a second.

CrapBag Fri 26-Oct-12 22:16:29

See, I have done OCD tests before expecting to have it really. People have always joked about it to me but it said that I probably didn't have it. I was genuniely surprised.

savemefromrickets Fri 26-Oct-12 22:18:58

I thought DP was showing some traits so we did the tests, turns out I'm on the spectrum and he isn't! Ha. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. Luckily I've found a job where my ridiculous tenacity and inability to tolerate idiots is actually accepted and welcomed, and DP seems to think I'm great.

I still hate plans being changed, find eye contact hard, sometimes can't cope with noise (however quiet) and am very blunt. I quite like having a peg to hang these traits on as it happens!

CuriousMama Fri 26-Oct-12 22:20:17

Remind me never to link to any online test again please. guilt

mosschops30 Fri 26-Oct-12 22:20:37

crapbag your 22.09 post sounds just like me smile. im not autistic and scored 20 on that test. I think the following which may or may not help you:

I am great at music quizzes and relating songs to the exact year they were released. I think its just a talent smile

i am a bit OCD but it made me an excellent ITU nurse grin

i am very blunt but i attribute it to being Northern! Here in Wales they just cant take it though

Im not synpathetic, probably due to working in the area i did, i have no time for useless whining and my family are used to the stock reply of 'so what, no one died'

I dont do physical contact either, i do with the dcs, and one or two friends but with everyone else it feels forced

CrapBag Fri 26-Oct-12 22:24:55

Just done a different test. Quite a high obsessive compulsive personality. Others generally low though so that makes me feel better. grin

The ones I scored above the average didn't surprise me, avoidant and antisocial.

tabulahrasa Fri 26-Oct-12 22:25:20

Well firstly I have a son with AS and none of the traits are things that no-one without autism does...it's all about the age that they are still done at, the level which they are done at and whether they impact on day to day life. Lots of lots of people have a few traits and lots of traits are exaggerated typical behaviour anyway - so I think it's very easy to read too much into it.

Secondly - I've seen the online tests (I don't know which one you did) and to be quite honest, they're pretty meaningless because there's no way to look at why you've picked a certain choice or to put it in any context at all. I would prefer to go to a library over the theatre, it doesn't tell you anything other than that I prefer books over theatre...I have no issue with busy places or noisy places or watching people act stories over reading about them, I'm just not keen on theatre. I might pick a cinema over a library, I'd definitely pick a nightclub over a library. It doesn't really gauge anything about you.

Having said all that - if you genuinely are still worried about it, if you think you have an impairment in all three of these areas which causes you problems in day to day life, then it might be worth going to speak to your GP with a view to being assessed by a specialist.

But, there really is no use worrying about it - My DS has autism whether we worry about it or not, he had it before he was assessed, after he was diagnosed and always will have. It can't be treated or cured, because we know about it he can be supported with areas of difficulty, but that's really all that can be done -so realistically you need to think about whether you need support or just whether you have a few traits but they're not a problem. I have traits, but not to the extent that they affect my life, lots of people do...

CrapBag Fri 26-Oct-12 22:27:27

curiousmama* don't be daft. I actually find it slightly reassuring to know that I am not entirely a bit of a weirdo. Especially as there are quite a few on here with similar traits. Its nice to know.savemefromrickets you sound like me. Eye contact and noise. Noise!!!!! I am always complaining about noise and people look at me like I am mad.

SystemofaDowny Fri 26-Oct-12 22:29:21

I posted on your other thread. I don't think its that unusual to get really bothered about it and definitely the 'not being able to get it out of your head' is something I would recognise and happens to me often about many different things. For me personally I need to read everything on a subject before I can let it go, so maybe you could try something similar? There are loads of websites and books about autism/asd/aspergers around.

If you think that you wouldn't be able to let it go, there is no harm in speaking to your GP about it and asking to be referred for assessment. It might be easier to take a list of symptoms though as I understand most GPs don't know a lot about autism.

CrapBag Fri 26-Oct-12 22:30:37

mosschops I know my best friend appreciates my bluntness. She said at least you can get a straight answer from me and if I don't want to do something then I just don't. Not sure if others appreciate it so much smile Tough shit tbh.

"I dont do physical contact either, i do with the dcs, and one or two friends but with everyone else it feels forced" yes that sounds about right too.

CrapBag Fri 26-Oct-12 22:32:10

System yes I am currently doing a lot of reading up. Sometimes I am thinking "don't be so bloody stupid" but then that annoying part of my brain doesn't let it go.

SystemofaDowny Fri 26-Oct-12 22:36:39

also try looking for the stuff that specifically mentions ASD in females- that is what finally lead to acceptance for me I think. It described me perfectly rather than the 'yeh maybe' and 'sort of' that I got from reading the general symptoms.

tabulahrasa Fri 26-Oct-12 22:37:52

I don't like physical contact either, except with the DC and tbh I struggle now they're adult size.

I have a bit of a 'thing' about talking on the phone, I'm really not keen on it and can struggle a bit to have a conversation with people I don't know on it.

I have a couple of mild sensory 'things' as well, I really dislike some textures and can't eat certain foods because of it.

I have massive organizational problems... the opposite of yours though, I can't organize myself.

I'm not blunt exactly, however, I do speak first then think later - so people tend to get my honest reaction to things then I have to try to make it more socially acceptable.

But, I am absolutely sure I'm not diagnosable - and I'm perfectly ordinary really, well ok, I can be a tiny bit odd, but it doesn't affect anything important, rofl

SystemofaDowny Fri 26-Oct-12 22:39:27

This is the link but it comes from the book Aspergirls I think

CrapBag Fri 26-Oct-12 22:49:23

Oh my god!!! I have read that link and it is scary! Some things don't fit but the emotional/physical column in particular really fits. Loads of things in general fit. The bouncing/ clapping thing when excited!!

Last year DH got me something for my birthday that I really wanted. I literally stood in the pub jumping up and down clapping like a loon when I was telling my friend about it. I could see her DH behind her watching me, god knows what he thought.

SystemofaDowny Fri 26-Oct-12 23:04:30

What other people think about the stuff I do, doesn't concern me to much. especially since i know that I'm not doing anything wrong or failing at being normal like I used to. It makes social events a bit easier as I an relax more and be myself instead of pretending all the time which is exhausting and gets my overwhelmed far quicker.

Atomico Mon 29-Oct-12 11:02:03

Funnily enough, I took the same test and scored 32. Do I think I am ASD? No. As has been pointed out earlier in this thread, we all score highly in a few of the areas. I also score highly in Avoidance, Schizoid and Borderline (and apparently I suffer from moderate-severe depression). I didn't get anti-social, though. But I'm not too bothered about these answers that come from online tests. Neither should you be.

The thing about both personality disorders and ASD is that a diagnosis is only really required when these traits significantly hinder functionality.

If you like who you are, why would it be a disorder? If you are happy and functioning normally, why worry about whether or not you could be diagnosed with something.

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