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eating disorder

(2 Posts)
firstdayofnewme Tue 23-Oct-12 16:31:26

So about five years I have had an eating disorder on and off. I'm not sure where it came from, or why I've got it - suspect I'm a people pleaser (but not a push over) and a perfectionist, and can track it back to splitting up with my ex aged 29. I desperately wanted kids and he didn't so we split. I guess everything felt out of control. Some counselling (about a mc) two years ago helped me realise the above, and that the fact I'm a high-achiever elsewhere has given me unrealistic expectations in all aspects of my life.

Anyway, it has been under control at times - when I had DS I was fine for a year or two, but then had a mc at 8 weeks and it's not been great since. Not terrible - like my cousin who has bulimia and is sick several times a day -but would still happen 2 or 3 times a week.

So I have decided that today is the day I stop it. I have controlled it before, for long periods of time, by myself. I've actually put on weight since I started doing it again (I guess because it's not an effective weight control 'method' and bulimics consume too many calories!). DH and I want to start ttc again (he has no idea) and I KNOW from experience I will be fine when pg. But I want to control it before I get pg, so even after breastfeeding I hopefully won't slip back into it.

Have name changed for this simply because I don't want my RL friends to spot me...

So. Positive comments that it could be achievable?

Oh - and my 'weak spots' are weekday lunches; have been fine today. Moving on to day two now...

ScreamingManAndGoryOn Tue 23-Oct-12 20:09:06

You have my sympathy. I get bulimic when down and stressed - its a pretty rubbish coping strategy.

CBT helps and I'm on a waiting list.

The other thing that helped me was low carbing as it allowed me to eat as much as I wanted of protein and as I was able to see that as "good" food, I kept it down and didn't purge.

Its not great though. Sorry I don't have better advice to offer, but if I knew how to sort it out, I would be it for me!

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