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Home help for elderly mil with mental health issue

(5 Posts)
Pitmountainpony Tue 23-Oct-12 00:56:06

Long shot but does anyone know if there is any free or subsidized help for someone who is 77 and managing bi polar.
My mil lives with her husband.....he does nothing domestically and won,t.
She basically lives in squalor.....never cleans.....fridge is filthy, sink also....food piled up dishes re used without cleaning.....last time we did a big clean before we moved overseas......we found mice droppings on shelves etc.
She has no washing machine so clothes in piles everywhere.
Anyway my fil keeps saying she is getting diarrhea and I wonder if it could be related to the obvious bad food hygiene.....

Trying to see if I can organize cleaning help from here.......is there any free help......they are too poor to pay private cleaning fees from what I can make out.

It is kind of sad. My husband was raised in the same squalor soviet is not a new thing but maybe now she is older her system is weaker and cannot fight the bugs?
Any advice?
Thanks guys.

iseenodust Tue 23-Oct-12 11:51:05

Erm it might be related to hygiene or it might be start of incontinence?

If it is health related there may be assistance available to help them remain independent. Suggest you book a phone call with their GP surgery and contact Age Concern who have expert advisors (check the website).

iwastooearlytobeayummymummy Thu 25-Oct-12 14:39:35

Is your mum a UK resident? If so you can help her make a claim for Attendance Allowance in the frst instance. It is a non means tested benefit for over 65s who are not able to manage self care etc. You will find out more by going to the directgov. website. Again if a UK resident your mum will be eligible for an assessment of her care needs from the local authority social care team, which again you can find by googling elderly social care and your mum's area. Whether she will need to pay for support will depend on your mother's own income and savings, and the local authority's charging policy.
I also agree with Iseenodust, as you should also discuss your concerns with her GP.
It must be very hard living so far away from home, best wishes.

Charliewasagoodhamster Fri 26-Oct-12 22:02:13

If you are in the UK call the local council social services. There is social care support set up to help. Google FACS criteria for a guide on who is eligible. They can also signpost to other services to help.

Pitmountainpony Sat 27-Oct-12 04:22:23

Thanks everyone. My mil is in the UK and we are in the US.
I am going to look into those suggestions.
Because they have always lived in squalor the family seem to ignore it...they grew up in it....but I just think now she is old maybe these unhygienic living conditions can be more of a hazard.
The thing is if someone never cleans after themselves it is overwhelming for anyone to go in and clean. We used to do what we could but it was really wearing when we had our own lives to keep running and house to clean.
But I feel sad she is living like this in these filthy conditions.

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