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Advice Thanks.(7 Posts)
Ive name changed for this but I am a regular poster never been in this section before. I dont know where to start with this, I have had bouts of depression since my early teens never been happy with myself. I had post natal depression after the birth of my first child six years ago not so much after the birth of my second two years ago. Recently in the past few months I have been getting more and more down and stressed, Im in a long term relationship which is strained the best of times. We dont talk to each other if he isnt out he sits in the bedroom in front of his computer, if we do speak it usually ends up with him screaming at me. I have a very short temper with my children which I hate they dont behave very well due too boredom which is my fault as I cant get the energy to take them out anywhere as Im not sleeping very well. I toss and turn for hours then wake up a couple of times in the night, then my toddler wakes usually between 4 and 5 for the day. This affects housework too the house is a mess but I dont care. My OH doesnt help with chores or the children. I am forgetful too , I really feel my kids would be better off without me. I feel like walking out and leaving my OH t deal with them, I love them so much they are my life but I hate what Im like with them.
I know Im depressed and need to go to the GP but I dont know what to say to him? I have chronic shyness and find it hard to talk to some people which gets worse as I get down. What do I say to him? as I said I dont like talking about my feelings so dont feel counseling would be for me. Or am I just kidding myself on I am depressed and should shut up and get on with it!
Sorry for such a long post.
Why don't you print out your post and show it to your gp? It will broached the subject so they will know why you are there and what questions to ask you.
You recognise that you are depressed so you have taken the first (and biggest imho) step. You can get better and you deserve to be happy.
Keep posting. There are many MNers who have felt like you do now and are either recovered or still going through it so you will get plenty of support.
So sorry to hear you feel like this. It does sound like depression. I could have written your post when the DC were pre-school. I ended up on citalopram which was the best move I ever made. Like you, I'd had depression since my teens, untreated. Like you I loathed the idea of counselling and revealing all to strangers. Like you, I had a DS who woke between 4 and 5 every day for years and it felt like it nearly killed me. Really, my heart goes right out to you. It's no wonder you feel as you do.
Medication doesn't work for every one but it really transformed our family life when it worked for me. It's worth a try.
In terms of the day to day, you sound so tired. Nothing is possible when you're that shattered. Can you ask about Homestart in your area and see if someone can come and help with housework or mind the babies while you have an afternoon nap?
Once you start to feel better, check out Flylady.com for easy ways to get on top of housework. She has a real understanding of people who live in a tip due to depression.
Can you sort out a baby sitter once a month and take your DP out? Don't make it too challenging at first. A happy or escapist film and a quick drink. Don't need to sit suffering by candlelight wondering why you have nothing to talk about. You're both knackered and drained. Take it easy.
Won't work for everyone, but for us, getting out of the house really, really helped. Hard if you're shattered, but the mess is elsewhere, the kids can't make more of it, and the fresh air and running round tires them out. We used to spend whole days traipsing from one play park to another, even in winter. It helped a bit.
Stay in touch here. You'll get lots of support and understanding.
Forgot to say, it's years on now but I am so happy. Get on much better with DH, have a lovely job and adore the DC. Life has ups and downs but overall it's fantastic. Hang on in. It gets easier, better and you will feel so full of happiness in time.
A combination of anti depressants and counselling saved my life. Lots of hugs to you. Be brave and start with your GP xxxxx
You know reading this with a fresh approach, WHAT ABOUT YR DP?!
He screams at you, he doesn't do much to help??? Well, that wd at least depress anyone. Don't take responsibility for ALL the issues you have in yr family.
I think talking to yr dp and maybe Relate counselling cd help?? How about yr dp getting up for toddler some nights every week? Sharing responsibility? Good luck.
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