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Should I consider finding another counsellor?

(9 Posts)
tigercametotea Thu 11-Oct-12 11:11:38

I decided to find a private counsellor for anxiety. I Googled one up online and she seems legit... says she works at a GP practice for 5 yrs as a counsellor, volunteers as a counsellor for RAPA (Rape and Sexual Abuse) , has a large client portfolio, etc. So I call her up 2 weeks ago and she asks me when I would like my first appointment. I said any weekday after 5 pm. She said okay this week I am already full so can you do next week, and I say sure, and the doormat in me also added "It's okay I'm not in that a hurry..what time suits you". And she said okay next Thursday (i.e. that was last Thursday) ... and I said that sounds fine. She said she would send a txt to confirm with me on the day. Well day came and no text so about 4 hrs before the time we originally discussed, I text her and ask if it will still be going on that day. She calls me and says she won't be able to book a room at the premises (she uses 2 locations about 20 miles apart for her appointments) because it's too short a notice for the venue (Which is a a yoga centre btw). She reschedules for today at 5pm.
Then she sent me a text this morning at 8.57 asking if we can now switch the time to 6.30 pm tonight instead.

So I said yes in text. But now am having 2nd thoughts about it because the more I think the more I feel uncertain about her chopping and changing... although maybe it is still early days and all that.

So, should I just go ahead with it at 6.30 pm today or cancel it and find another counsellor? By the wsy she says she is BACP accredited but I checked the BACP directory and couldn't find her entry anywhere and am now wondering if it is fine and normal for someone BACP accredited to not be in the directory... she says she works in a GP practice so she has got to be legit right??

tigercametotea Thu 11-Oct-12 11:18:10

I realise it may be too late to cancel by now. Not sure about her cancellation policy but if she changes the time 8 hrs before the original time today, then am I allowed to cancel it 6 hrs before?? Or should I just go today and see how it is, and then decide if I want to see her again?

fourbears Thu 11-Oct-12 12:31:10

Hi tiger. Have just seen this now, sorry. What did you decide? Did you go? It's a bit strange she wasn't in the BACP directory. Agree all the chopping and changing isn't a great start and would make me feel uneasy too. Or she might just be disorganised and a brilliant counsellor. So hard to know. Hope you're ok whatever happened.

tigercametotea Thu 11-Oct-12 12:41:46

Thanks Fourbears. It's 12.40 now and less than 6 he's before the time so I reckon may be a bit late to change. I'll just go and see how it pans out.

fourbears Thu 11-Oct-12 13:09:37

Sorry! I thought today was Friday and you would have gone or not gone yesterday! Duh! Well that changes things a bit. I don't quite know.

I think it might come down to how you'll feel about "cancelling" her after you've been to see her if you don't get on or don't feel quite right about it. I sometimes find it hard to say what I need to and just get swept along if you know what I mean.

If you don't think that will be a problem, then maybe go and see what she's like? And like you say, you may have to pay anyway now.

I have had a counsellor through the GP who was a very bad fit for me and now have a private one who is fantastic, so it might take more than one go to find the right person. I'd be interested to know how you get on, if you feel like coming back. Good luck!

fourbears Thu 11-Oct-12 13:11:00

Sorry! X post!

tigercametotea Thu 11-Oct-12 13:39:10

I do get swept along in the moment as you say, Fourbears, but I can generally be very unwavering and firm if I've made up my mind. It can be hard though with this thing since counselling is so personal... if I feel like I spilt my beans to her and she helped in some way. I don't think I can cancel now without paying but she seems good from her website CV.. I should have checked BACP before booking her though (regret).. I think I read on MN or somewhere that clients should start feeling better in 6 sessions or so and if not its time to change therapists... she is not the cheapest so I doubt I will continue with her if it doesn't seem right.

tigercametotea Fri 12-Oct-12 00:24:06

Hi Fourbears, just a quick update... the appointment went okay... I did come away with some new insights into my behaviours and thinking. Lots to think about. I actually burst into tears at one point when I was talking about my mother. But am glad I started counselling as that stuff just stays and brews inside me for ages and ages and has had a huge effect on my anxiety. She wants to see me again next week. I said could really only afford to see her twice a month and she said that's fine but I would have to see her two consecutive weeks for the first 2 sessions which she feels would be more effective... and then she can give me something to work on for the fortnight after, when I woudn't be seeing her... She does seem professional and quite insightful though. Hope she doesn't mess around with the timing again next week. Especially as I am seeing her for anxiety! Lol...

fourbears Fri 12-Oct-12 09:48:19

Hi tiger! That sounds positive then. I'm glad she helped a bit. I usually feel lighter afterwards for getting stuff off my chest, if upset. I mostly cry buckets during my sessions! Well done for going! It's a really positive step.

Hopefully the timings of sessions will settle down now.

Take care of yourself especially after sessions where a lot has come up. I find going shopping for some nice food or a puzzle book blush feels like I'm looking after myself. I have to wait til my face is more back to normal sometimes!

Wishing you all the best for the future! X

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