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Unmotivated hermit

(6 Posts)
wheretobe Wed 03-Oct-12 12:52:28

Hi, just getting this out as maybe someone might have some words of wisdom. I am a SAHM and have been since my first child was born-so eleven years now (I also have an eight year old). I have always been a bit shy/lacking in confidence and only had a small amount of friends. I think that all this time out of 'the real world' has negatively affected me and I am at a complete loss as to how to escape from what I've become.

I am spending my time now hiding out in my home (mostly on the internet), worrying about getting a job but not having a clue as to how to get started. I haven't mingled with people in so long that it feels natural now-I just have no desire to socialise at all really. Have one good friend who lives abroad and a newer friend who lives nearby (but has a much busier life than me). Apart from the odd chat with acquaintances I don't really speak with anyone else much outside of the home.

I don't feel that I can apply for a job. I just can't. Whenever I imagine an interview situation I can't see myself being able to talk about myself in any positive way whatsoever. And I can imagine I would get tearful easily! I think that I might have SOME things to offer but then I feel they are cancelled out by all my bad points.

I don't think I'm 'depressed' as I don't have any physical symptoms-eg am eating/sleeping just fine (oh-but often have days where I can get a bit tearful). But certainly something must be wrong with me?

I just can't see the point in doing anything really-and I don't want to feel like this anymore (especially don't want to pass this on to my children).

Does anyone have any ideas? thanks

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Wed 03-Oct-12 16:02:18

I don't think that anything is wrong with you, other than you've got out of practice of socialising and have lost confidence in yourself.

Everyone can have tearful days, and its not necessarily a sign of depression.

Have you considered doing something like volunteering in a charity shop? It would get you in the right place for meeting people and getting back into work without the stress of interviews and then when you have got some confidence in yourself back, it will look good on your CV.

Good Luck

Are you good at making things, sewing, could you volunteer for a local drama group or help out at a school show?

I did costumes for the school panto for 8 years, made about 40 friends (OK about 5 friends and 35 acquaintances!) but it's a great way of socialising and building a network and confidence. Plus (like the charity shop work) a good talking point to put on a CV.

posted before finishing - if you can paint you can do scenery, if you can follow a list/script you could be a prompter or a caller (calling people to backstage when their piece is coming up). You don't necessarily have to be an actor or seamstress!

wheretobe Wed 03-Oct-12 19:37:04

Oh, thank you for the replies! Maybe a charity shop could be a starting point. Hmmm. I don't think I'm practical enough to do the drama group idea-sounds much more fun though!
I am definitely out of practice-maybe I just need to edge back into society nervously and quietly via the back door...

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Wed 03-Oct-12 20:24:48

I think doing it bit by bit can really help.

A couple of years ago I had a bout of depression and it was hard to start doing things again, so I signed up for an archery course just for an hour a week. it was hard work making myself go at first, but then it worked out to getting me back into being sociable again and while I didn't keep it up, I moved on to other stuff with more confidence in myself.

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