I will try to keep this as brief as possible without missing out any important points. I think I am sufferering depression, possible for 2 years, but feel that my GP sees it as a weakness in me and although I have seen her several times I am not having any treatment.
I have a 21month old DD and a 4.5yr old DS and I am the sole breadwinner working approx 50/55 hrs per week. My DH has been SAHD since we had our first child. This hasn't always worked out too brill as I have still done most of the house stuff, taken children swimming/lessons/toddler groups etc/worried about fall in income/cooked evening meal blah blah blah.
Both times I had to return to work after 6 weeks maternity leave, my boss was a bully and gave me a really hard time (1st person to ever have maternity). After my DD was born she suffered undiagnosed silent reflux and so I didn't go back after 6 weeks as hoped but did a few weeks part time. My GP said I shouldn't go back at all yet but as sole earner it was difficult as we had no money for mortgage etc otherwise. I tried a short course of AD's but when I told her that I was only taking half a day as I found the side effects too much she said she didn't think that they could be doing anything for me really and it wasn't worth taking them so to stop.
I have tried unsucessfully to find other work as income is not enough for us to live off even having cut everything right back. I have tried to get DH to find work as well but he has done nothing. I keep telling him I cannot go on like this - I find it hard he could see me struggle so much and do nothing.
He also has a smoking cannabis habit (evenings) that has caused us endlesss difficulties in our relationship. in Feb 2012 he was suffering depression & some paranoia - I said he had to stop smoking and do more to help out and fulfill the SAHD role or we were over. He promised he would, cut right down, went to GP & got AD's but never got to the point of smoking nothing and now I have recently found out that he no longer takes the AD's so if anything the weed smoking will probably go up rather than stop. However he now does do a lot more around the house so probably doesn't see it as a problem himself, but to me it is.
I again have problems at work. I would very much like to hand my notice and look at working part time doing some consultancy work with DH doing a full time job, however I am concerned that if we don't earn enough we could lose our home.
In my most recent appointment with GP I expressed my concerns and asked if this did happen would it be likely that my recent history with problems at work and the stress/depression it would cause would be able to support an application for housing assistance to which she was doubtful.
I don't want to sound as though I am looking for an easy way out - believe me I am trying so hard to get a solution to these issues and can see that the works problems are causing me so many hassles that I am left feeling really unwell - but it seems that there is no solution to my problems, that I am trapped and solving one problem (i.e. work) may cause others (i.e. housing problems).
The slightest thing makes me want to cry, I feel so tired all the time, I overeat even though I keep promising myself I won't and can't seem to get out of the viscous circle. Is it worth trying a different GP or am I being pathetic?
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Mental health
I think I am still depressed - should I try a different GP?
20 replies
whatnameshalliuse · 29/09/2012 09:46
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