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Virtual hug please

(9 Posts)
chelseamorning Wed 26-Sep-12 12:52:39

Not sure where to start. Feeling very down and can't talk about it. This is what is going on in my life at the moment - it's a long list but please bear with me.

- Gave up my career to be a SAHM, resent it at times but very little time to do anything about it.
- I've been peri-menopausal since the birth of my DS 5yrs ago. Have all the symptoms, both mental and physical, which is really getting me down. Find that I'm not really coping with life well atm.
- My hot flushes at night are really disrupting my sleep so I feel shattered every morning. DP's snoring adds to the problem.
- Can't remember the last time DP and I made love. I have zero sex drive and just can't bear him to touch me. The peri-menopause is probably to blame. However I'm also wondering if it's to do with childbirth and feeling 'violated' as I cringe when I think of DP, or any man, inside me. Does this make sense to anyone?
- Mum has breast cancer and has just been told it's incurable. She's been battling it for 5 years but is now running out of energy and medical options. She's my best friend but I can't talk to her about how I'm feeling because she has a lot to deal with atm.
- DP's mum has just been diagnosed with breast cancer but it looks as though she'll make a full recovery. I'm trying to be glad for her but am also feeling angry that it's not my mum that will recover.
- My bright, articulate DS is a reluctant reader and I feel he's getting a bit behind at school. I'm trying to help him as much as I can but he just doesn't want to read at home. I feel like I'm letting him down. This is stressing me out, probably more because I don't seem to be able to cope, rather than it being a large problem.

I'm hoping that just writing all this down will help. However, I'd love to hear from you if you can share your thoughts.

mashedpotatohead Wed 26-Sep-12 13:42:23


Oh chelsea, I really feel for you. You've got loads of things to deal with at the moment. I'm not surprised you feel this way sad

I'm afraid I dont have a mass of wise words for you (hopefully some others will soon) but I'm good at hugging ;) Just please dont be so hard on yourself....

chelseamorning Wed 26-Sep-12 13:53:47

Oooooh, thank you, mashedpotatohead! That's wonderful. smile

chelseamorning Wed 26-Sep-12 17:02:14


mashedpotatohead Thu 27-Sep-12 16:18:40


Mylittlepuds Fri 28-Sep-12 02:19:52

Hug from me too. I know exactly what you mea when you feel you can no longer burden your rock of a person. She won't mind though - I promise. She's your mum and would rather know how you're feeling than you keeping it bottled up. Also it might help her keep her mind occupied. X

tabbycat15 Fri 28-Sep-12 03:01:22

Have you been to the Drs for hormone testing & other blood tests?It might be worth getting some tests done incase your tiredness is caused by something else. If you can find a nice female Dr or even go to the family planning clinic. I found that you get a through health check with a nurse & get a longer consult with a Dr then you can discuss your symptoms.
Sending you a hug from down under.

chelseamorning Fri 28-Sep-12 19:20:29

Thanks so much for the hugs, mylittlepuds and tabbycat15. smile

Compared to having a terminal disease, I feel my problems are insignificant. I know Mum will be really upset if she finds out how I feel, but I don't want her to worry that she's 'adding' to my problems by being ill, and thereby feel guilty about it. She's still alive so I just have to enjoy her while she's still here.

I know I'm peri-menopausal as I've had tests etc and haven't had a period for 18 months. I have all the usual symptoms! The last chat I had with my male GP involved him trying to chose HRT for me. Because Mum's cancer is a vigorous type, I've declined to have HRT and just try to deal with my symptoms naturally with exercise and diet. Oh, and I now see a lovely female GP for my woman's problems! wink

To be honest, just putting everything down in this post has helped. I just felt really really down – and alone – that day. Felt like running away from everything and everyone. Also, I then read some of the other posts in this section and realised that, although I have a lot to deal with at the moment, I also have a lot of positive things in my life, such as my DP and son. My problems aren't as serious as other peoples'.

I'm trying to live by my mantra 'only worry about the things you can control', as well as the old 'one day at a time' rule.

Big hug to anyone feeling a bit down today. X

Mylittlepuds Fri 28-Sep-12 19:23:34

They sound like great mantras! I'm pinching them. Have a look at the Holy Hormones blog. I found it quite enlightening and I think you're totally right to avoid synthetic hormones and deal with things naturally. Have you tried a good multivitamin and omega 3 oils?

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