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(7 Posts)
violetsrblue Sun 23-Sep-12 20:38:38

Need to vent a bit - feeling quite down and like I am slipping further and further. Have made an appt with a doctor on Weds but not my usual doctor as the next appt was two weeks away.

I have been trying to stay strong for so long and pretty sure that has taken it's toll. But feel like I have to, it's just me living alone and not working because of long term mh problems.

The isolation and quietness is killing me. I recently went to visit my adult son and his family and got so stressed out there although I kept it together outwardly.

I started to feel that I had died inside somehow.

I go for days without talking to anyone. I have a dog who is great. I've cut off from family and am down to one friend. I do voluntary work but have cut the hours because I feel so stressed just being around people.

I'm on meds but just don't know how to go forward. Am getting old and can feel my body wearing out. Really don't like the thought of my future.

I know I need to get a grip but I can't find the will. I'm just in bed day after day. I do have love in me but it's like I've lost sight of it, and just feel bad feelings and negativity.

Am on Trazodone and sleeping pills but think I need another a/d alongside. I've been waiting nearly a year for counselling.

Will stop now - thanks for reading this if you got this far.

gemblags1980 Sun 23-Sep-12 22:10:12

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. I went through a similar thing to you a few months ago and found my local voluntary and community groups such as womenspace and age uk a huge help with counselling . Are you currently wanting for counselling through your GP ? If so it may ve worth asking at your next appt if the NHs will pay for you to se a counsellor privately , your local NHs patient advice service will be able to advise further what the criteria is for this. I think it's something to do with the number of weeks you have to wait for a service . I also found an online resource called mood gym useful because it helped me identify and be clear what to say to the doctors
Good luck take care gemma

Goonatic Sun 23-Sep-12 22:16:21

Oh violets you sound so down. I am afraid I have no experience of your situation but would like to send you a hug.... Could you get an earlier appointment, three days seems like a long time to wait feeling so awful. Is there anything you can do to distract yourself (sorry if that is a rubbish suggestion) like reading, painting, bathing the dog, anything to help you pass the time till your app?
Sounds like you are wound up very tight, could you let go a bit and see if that makes you feel better,and does your son know how bad you feel?

Hoophopes Sun 23-Sep-12 22:21:13

Hi - gosh, a year sounds awful in current climate. Whilst I had to wait 18mths many years ago the NHS has changed and has the IAPT services now - in fact someone I know who is not on medication and hasn't been offered any but is struggling with one issue has got CBT on NHS within a month of going to her gP - so could you go back and ask for short term counselling that could be got quicker, to help now?

Perhaps you coudl ask Gp to review your medication? It might be that you don't need an extra medication but a change - as different medication does different thing and if you could tell your Gp what you are struggling with they may be able to give you one more appropriate?

Sorry you are struggling so much. x

violetsrblue Mon 24-Sep-12 19:48:32

Thank you so much for the kind and helpful replies. It's so great to admit to feeling bad and to feel less alone and trapped inside myself. I have been swimming today and joined Moodgym tonight.

Goonatic Mon 24-Sep-12 20:19:45

yes! You are allowed to admit it, have a hot bath and read a book and then tomorrow will only be one sleep away from hopefully getting some more help! x

violetsrblue Mon 24-Sep-12 21:55:42


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