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Please tell me your AD success stories

(11 Posts)
Lottapianos Mon 10-Sep-12 21:14:44

I'm going through psychotherapy due to emotional abuse in childhood. It's such hard work, I'm totally exhausted by it. I'm so sick and tired of feeling so bloody much all the time. I'm overwhelmed by the simplest things. DP and I are going on an all-inclusive, lie in the sun holiday on Saturday - I should be thrilled to bits but I'm so anxious about it. I'm sick of feeling so unhappy and wound up alll the time. I want to feel numb or at least neutral for a while.

I'm seriously thinking of asking my GP for some ADs when we get back from holiday. I was on Venlafaxine for about a year, that was about 12 years ago, no ADs since. Please tell me your positive stories of how ADs helped you in the short term. I'm scared of going on medication but I really feel I need some extra help to gain control of my feelings at the moment.

Thanks in advance smile

TheSilverPussycat Mon 10-Sep-12 21:48:20

I was scared to go on paroxatine (had tried non-SSRIs before that but they zombified me, plus SSRIs hadn't been invented!) but they really were a godsend. I am on them long term, but obv they can be short term too. I was off them for a while a couple of years ago, on a med that didn't suit, I came off that to no medication, then got depressed again. This was partly due to being in a long term emotionally abusive relationship. Went on them again a year ago last May, they did the trick, and I got well enough to realise what was wrong with my life, ie my relationship (thanks also to MN). Am now divorced, still on them, feel great.

It's often the case that it may take a while to find the best AD for you, as physiologies differ. It's also important to give the AD you're prescribed a month to kick in before you decide whether it's the one for you.

Hope you manage to relax on holiday. All the best!

BustyDeLaGhetto Mon 10-Sep-12 22:01:47

Hi Lottapianos sorry to hear you're having such a tough time - its so draining isn't it ? I've no experience of psychotherapy but I imagine it is really hard work so it is no surprise that you're feeling sick of 'feeling so much'.

However I do have experience of how you're feeling and I do have a positive story for you with regard to ADs which I was really averse to trying until I had some very good advice on here and also at the GPs. You can probably find all my threads which I started on here earlier this year when I was going through a horrible, horrible time. I had PND and Panic Disorder which was mutating into Agoraphobia.

It had dragged on for about two years - I'd spent days bristling with anxiety, struggling to leave the house, resentful of everyone else feeling 'normal' or 'happy' and getting huge waves of panic for no reason. I was eventually diagnosed when DD was one but I was so anti-medication that I tried other routes first - hypnotherapy, CBT, St John's Wort, Mindfulness Meditation - but while I could see the benefits of each method it felt as though my head was full of knots and I, like you, was desperate to just feel nothing for once.

I went to the GPs for Beta Blockers as a last resort and while I was there he said that my best route would be ADs. When I described how I'd been feeling rather than falling off his chair in shock he just nodded and said that it was very common, and treatable. That's the key. It can be treated.

Initially the Sertaline heightened all my worst feelings and it was a tough six weeks before I started to level out but the difference in me is unbelievable,
and now that I look back at myself I can't believe how bad I let the situation get before I sought help. For me it really was a last resort, and while I still have bad days it has given me the impetus to really make some drastic changes to my life which I wouldn't have been able to do before. The panic is managable but they don't 'switch you off' so you are just on top of things, managing, and feeling slightly more positive about it.

That at least has been my experience. I can't tell you how much my life has improved - some of those improvements are self-made - I've stopped drinking, smoking and drinking caffiene and have started eating well and getting regular exercise and doing yoga. Its made me very dull at parties but I feel lighter and brighter for it and I really do feel that ADs gave me the push I needed.

Enjoy your holiday and be very kind to yourself. You are trying to improve your situation which is more than many people do and step by step you will start seeing improvements, with or without ADs.

orangeandlemons Thu 13-Sep-12 11:50:14

Radiant, confident and bouncy here on paroxetine.

Second the fact thatthe first 5/6 weeks are a bit ropey, although you do have good days too.

Now back at work full of life and enthuiasm after 6 months off. The whole world has noticed the difference in me.

HTH

Lottapianos Thu 13-Sep-12 11:56:16

Sorry haven't been on for a few days. Thank you all very much for your replies. I've heard loads of horror stories about ADs so it's great to read some positive things. I've been feeling much calmer over the last few days so I think the worst of this dip is over.

I'm going on holiday on Saturday and will see how I feel when I get back. I do think that I need something to even me out a bit, even if only for a few months, just to get a break from the overwhelming feelings.

Thank you all again and I'm glad your meds are working for you smile

tabbycat15 Thu 13-Sep-12 13:11:33

I've been on & off AD's for the past 20 years. Sertraline has always worked the best for me. I also take Olanzapine just a tiny dose & that seems to work best for me, I've tried lots & I'm sensitive to most side effects, I see a psychiatrist for my medication & he had been the best person for getting me stable. I have a good Dr too. I am in Australia & the health care is so much better than in the Uk,

morleylass Thu 13-Sep-12 18:07:20

Hi, I'm currently on mirtazapine for anxiety and it has really helped. Was initially put on citalopram but that made me feel worse. One of my worst symptoms of my anxiety is insomnia and the mirt has really helped, some people find that it knocks them out straight away but it doesn't have that effect on me, however it does help me stay asleep and a good nights sleep makes a huge difference to me.
The well known side effect is weight gain - I have gained just over half a stone (not the stones that some people seem to gain) and I am finding nearly impossible to lose. I am actually trying to come off them at the moment but am wondering if I am trying to do this too soon, if my slightly anxious feeling gets any worse I will be happy to up the dose again.
In the past I have been on fluoextine which didn't agree with me and dothiepin which helped me recover from PND so I am a supporter of ADs although know from experience that it sometimes takes time to find the right one for you and they are by no means an instant fix.
I hope you have a good holiday, I definitely think it would be worth talking to the doctor when you get back,
Take care x

Lottapianos Mon 24-Sep-12 11:07:17

Hi all, just an update.....

We went on a lovely sunny holiday last week to a beautiful hotel. It was all lovely but I had to force myself to enjoy it. I felt all week like I 'should' have been enjoying it more, 'should' have been more grateful to be on holiday, 'should' have been more fun, 'should should should'. I felt numb inside but also very very sad.

On Thursday I picked a fight with DP - I think I was just desperate to have a reason to release all the tension I was feeling. I ended up sobbing on the bed and feeling like my mind was unravelling - a feeling i have felt before. DP was very supportive when he realised what was going on but I feel I can't keep collapsing on top of him like this - I need to do something for myself.

Feeling like this on holiday suggests that the problem is me, and will follow me wherever I go unless I deal with it. I'm feeling quite positive today actually but am still going to discuss ADs with my therapist on Wednesday and will most likely keep my GP appointment on Friday to ask for a prescription. Part of me doesn't want to go on meds, but a big part of me really feels like I need something to 'level me out' a bit.

Thanks so much for all your advice - you've helped me to feel that ADs can be a positive thing

TheSilverPussycat Mon 24-Sep-12 15:30:13

Good for you for considering ADs - I think it is well worth a try.

Re the holiday - when I was coming out of depression, but still depressed, I found I didn't enjoy things at the time, but somehow enjoyed them retrospectively. Hope this happens for you.

poobum5 Mon 24-Sep-12 17:18:51

lottapianos sorry to hear you are still struggling. I totally identify a lot of what you describe. I have just been to docs myself and got prescription for citalopram. Like you I was reluctant. I have been on it before though and it did help. It wasn't a miracle cure for me but it did help. It definitely helped sort of "take the edge off" my emotions. For me this did also include a slight dulling of happy feelings too, but it was worth it at the time. This time round I am so fed up of feeling such an emotional wreck that I am really looking forward to feeling a bit numb for a while! discussing it with your therapist and GP is a good idea. Hope it goes well.

Lottapianos Tue 25-Sep-12 13:26:47

Thank you both. I so rarely have genuine happy feelings to be honest - I just want to stop feeling so sad and empty, while also feeling guilty for feeling sad because so many other people have it worse than me!

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