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I know I need help but right now I really just need a hand to hold

(24 Posts)
PeggyCarter Mon 10-Sep-12 20:29:38

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checkin Mon 10-Sep-12 20:51:05

It is great that you realise that you are slipping back and seeking help. This is the biggest step and you have made it so things are better already.

The most important thing is to work out your triggers and work on reversing those to become as positive if they can be. It is OK to recognise your bad days as long as you can say, "I am having a bad day but I will try"

The anxiety while is unhealthy at elevated levels is completely normal. Thats what makes us great mums, we see the risk happening before it does and makes us react to potential danger. I have often spoke to other mums who have worried themselves sick as they have had these images enough to know it is normal.

You have done fantastic just writing this down, it shows your ability to work through your situation. Your stronger than you think and you WILL get through this.

PeggyCarter Mon 10-Sep-12 21:30:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Offers hand, along with hugs, reassurance and the samaritans web address in case you need more support tonight before you can see your gp.

PeggyCarter Mon 10-Sep-12 21:45:01

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PeggyCarter Tue 11-Sep-12 08:09:00

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48Hours Thu 13-Sep-12 00:12:07

I have just come here from your linked thread.
Seeing a student may be really useful, they will want to cover all bases and make sure that you are treated appropriately andthey have someone observing to ensure this happens.
In regards to your fluctuating mood, I can empthasise! Unmedicated I am a nightmare of emotions happy one minute down as hell the next with no indication of what triggers what. Personally I know that I won't come off anti depressants again they keep me relatively stable and intrusive thoughts/self harm are kept at bay.
They are not going to take your children off you, yes your mood may be changable but you are keeping them safe, clean and loved.
Even at my lowest and I have a somewhat complicated, vunerable child ss or gp's were only ever interseted in helping me cope.
Good luck tomorrow

PeggyCarter Thu 13-Sep-12 06:33:38

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greenhill Thu 13-Sep-12 07:08:14

My hands are always cold, would that put you off? Offers hand anyway...

I hope you feel able to go to your app't this morning. By acknowledging that you need to speak to someone professional, rather than having it circling around in your head, can only be a positive step.

As it is with a student, it might be ok: procedures will be fresh in their mind, s/he will not be cynical and dismissive, as they haven't seen it all before and the more experienced GP should know the appropriate treatment.

Good luck.

PeggyCarter Thu 13-Sep-12 07:53:51

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PeggyCarter Thu 13-Sep-12 19:19:14

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greenhill Fri 14-Sep-12 07:14:56

I'm so pleased that you felt better for going. Medication and a referral sounds as if they are helping you deal with the immediate situation, and then the counselling will help you deal with long standing issues and develop different coping strategies.

You have been really brave. You are strong enough to deal with this because you have already acknowledged your difficulties and stress factors. You know what could happen if the depression gets out of hand and you are trying your best to prevent yourself approaching those difficult times again. I hope the medication is making some impact already.

Were you able to sleep last night?

PeggyCarter Fri 14-Sep-12 08:03:51

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greenhill Sat 15-Sep-12 08:22:56

How was yesterday after your medication? Did your DS 'behave' last night and let you get more sleep? Or was he demanding love, cuddles and feeding in the night?

It's hard not to let the daily pressure get to you; try to take it an hour at a time and make the day into a silly game that you can be generous to yourself in. As in, I've fed the baby and he is happy 100 points; I've thought about doing the washing up soon, 5 points for a positive thought (even if not actioned!).

Discaimer: Only play this game if it makes you laugh!

My DD was up for 1.5 hours in the early hours and is still asleep on top of our bed, whereas my DS was up before 7. I'm going to award myself 5 points for noticing he needs a dirty nappy change, but judging from the smell will need a 100 points as a reward!

As points make prizes (showing my age there) I'm going to give myself a Snickers bar or a Crunchy later.

feeno Sat 15-Sep-12 13:53:57

Hi JPJ-just wanted to say hello and that your situation sounds similar to mine. I had terrible PND after birth of DS. I'm 36 weeks with DC2 and have suffered badly with AND.

Anytime you fancy a chat, please PM me anytime. Sometimes it helps to know that you're not the only one.

I feel like I could have written some of your posts myself-being ok and suddenly losing it when little things go wrong, then wanting to self harm really bad, crazy thoughts about the possible things that could go wrong when DH or DS aren't right in front of my nose...all sounds very familiar.

Hand holding on offer whenever you need xx

feeno Sat 15-Sep-12 14:00:38

Ps. I am supposed to start taking 50mg sertraline. I hope you don't suffer any severe side affects but if you do I can assure you they will pass. I have taken it before and had to battle through first week or so but it was so worth it as I did get better. Only got really bad again because of 2nd unplanned pregnancy when DS was 9 months old.

PeggyCarter Sat 15-Sep-12 17:55:38

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feeno Sat 15-Sep-12 19:44:44

I wouldn't wish it on my worstest enemy in the whole wide world! It is evil.

I didn't take one today as I find it stops me from sleeping well and as I'm suffering insomnia as it is I thought I'd wait until first thing tomorrow on waking. I'll keep it by my bedside and keep you posted about how I go tomorrow.

Glad to hear you've had no major wobbly side affects so far-unpleasant nonetheless but manageable by the sounds of it.

Yes, game sounds very cool-I must agree!

PeggyCarter Sun 16-Sep-12 17:57:04

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NotTheDaddy Sun 16-Sep-12 18:00:56

Hi Joyful. Been a bit sick today. Had jaw clenching, dry mouth and headaches. Not unbearable though. I wouldn't worry about not having side affects at this stage. You're one of the lucky ones not to get them. The meds could still work for you, it's just a matter of waiting it out for the next month or so.

How u feeling otherwise?

PeggyCarter Sun 16-Sep-12 18:16:21

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NotTheDaddy Sun 16-Sep-12 19:48:41

Just day 1 at the mo so it's to be expected I guess. Yes, I agree that just by knowing you are doing something that will make you feel normal eventually makes you feel less anxious.

By the way, this is feeno-username change!

PeggyCarter Sun 16-Sep-12 20:06:55

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greenhill Tue 02-Oct-12 13:39:00

How are you feeling? Have the AD's helped, or is it too soon to say yet?

I've not seen you around much on threads and wondered if that was because you were feeling better, so getting on with RL, or if I've been on MN less because RL has got in the way!

I hope you are getting more sleep x

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