need advise/ reassurance plz????

[cbd]

I'm 29+4 with 2nd dc. I've been diagnosed with Depression, anxiety, PTSD, I also had Ante-natal and post-natal depression with my 1st ds. I used to be on Citralipram but had to come off it about 2 weeks ago as it was making my blackouts and seizures worse. I have noticed that my anxiety is getting worse again and feeling really low again to the point of thinking of self-harming again and having suicide thoughts again. Been to see a doctor today at my GP's and all the dr could say to me is why can't i go out to work and have i had anything that could just be making me stress and sleepless, also the dr phoned the local crisis team and said that they will be out either today or tomorrow, I'm sat downstairs on my own again as DS is in bed, wondering if i did the right thing going to the drs now, feel crap about myself and that it was all a waste of time. Feel like I can't do anything right anymore and that i'm useless as a mum as my DS has to look after me at times instead of the other way round. Has anyone else been in the same situation as me, everyone says just find a job and i will be ok, but i cant face going outside, I'm prone to blacking out and having seizures without any warning, having a bad pregnancy as there is a problem with LO. Just feel like things would be better if i wasn't here.

Sorry for the long post just dont know where to go for help anymore.

[ColourMeWithChaos]

Oh cbd, big hugs!

It sounds like the doctor you saw today really wasn't very helpful at all! It might be the case that working would make you feel better at some point in the future but to not offer you any other help is very wrong in my opinion.

Did you tell him/her how low you were feeling? Do you have a doctor you see regularly about the mental health issues or the seizures? Might they be able to tailor help more to your needs?

Are you in therapy at all? I have had problems with anxiety in the past and CBT really really helped. Is this something that you have tried before? Might it be an idea to try and get a referral, especially as you have a new baby on the way which obviously is stressful and is an anxious time for many people.

Things would most definitely not be better if you weren't there - your DS1 needs his mummy and needs his mummy to feel a bit better - something you need help and support to achieve. Your DC to be is relying totally on you and will love you such because you are their mummy.

[cbd]

Hi ColourMeWithChaos,

I don't see a regular dr at the GP as they keep changing, the dr I saw today was a junior dr and only been at the GP practice for about 4 months from what she was saying to me.

I am not receiving any help for mental health at the moment and have only just recieved a phone call to go to neurology department in Sheffield after been on the waiting list since March this year, I live in Lincoln and the hospital here say they can't do anything for my seizures until i've been seen at Sheffield.

I've not tried CBT before although I was told by a therapist when i was seeing them 4 yrs ago that they would but me on the CBT course that they do and I never heard anything else about it.

[ColourMeWithChaos]

That must all be so frustrating for you!

Is there a more senior doctor at the practice you could see? I think you need to make them realise how serious this has got and that you need more help than you are receiving - it might also be an idea to raise this with the crisis team when they come to see you tomorrow. Don't take no for an answer - you need more support to overcome this illness than they are currently providing.

I hope the appointment with the neurology department goes well and you start to see a "light at the end of the tunnel" in terms of blackouts and seizures - to be able to control these more effectively would make you feel much safer and more able to go out etc.

CBT is really good - I cannot recommend it enough. If you have trouble getting a referral from GP then I think you can go straight through Anxiety UK who try and get you an appointment with a therapist in less than two weeks.

[cbd]

Thank you, I've really worried that the Crisis Team will turn up and expect me to talk openly about everything in front of my DS, also I will be having workmen here as I am currently having my kitchen refitted so don't fancy having to talk about everything while i have other people in my house.

we seem to be getting more and more junior dr's at the surgery now since it turned into a training surgery, To see a more senior doctor you have to book an appointment about 2 weeks in advance.

I'll see if Crisis Team turn up tomorrow and see what they say to me i'm seeing a midwife at the hospital on 5th September so might talk to her about it all as well if i'm not happy with the support i'm getting by then.

I'm currently in talks with CAB about the Jobcentre as well as they have stopped all my money coming in, because according to them and there 10 minute assessment on me i have nothing wrong with me and able to cope in everyday life, so getting stressed out about that as well.

I'll have a look at the Anxiety UK as well just to see what they do and where they are.

[ColourMeWithChaos]

Have the crisis team been today?

How did it go?

Hope you're feeling a bit better today.

[cbd]

The Crisis team have been out this evening to me, got someone coming out tomorrow to do a proper assessment for me to see how they can help me. The lady that come out tonight said that the Gp shouldnt have let me see a junior dr on my own, cos the junior dr obviously didn't know what to do about my mental health and just for her to tell me that crisis team will be out without actually telling who or what they are is not good. The Crisis team said that they will give me as much support as i need and to continue with contact with CAB to help me appeal for my employment and support allowance again

[ColourMeWithChaos]

That sounds like it was a good, productive meeting. Are you feeling any better today?

[cbd]

Feeling a bit better now i spoke to someone that understands the due to my situation at the moment i am unfit to go out to work at the moment, being 30 weeks preg, having blackouts and seizures, then mental health on top is not a good combination without adding the daily stresses of finding a job right now.
We'll see what they say tomorrow morning.

[CanoeSlalom]

"I used to be on Citralipram but had to come off it about 2 weeks ago as it was making my blackouts and seizures worse."

Did you come off Citalopram suddenly or do you mean you finally finished coming off it 2 weeks ago?

[cbd]

About 3 weeks ago my dosage was dropped from 20mg to 10mg, but after two major seizures on main roads (just missing been hit by cars, one in front of my 4 yr old) drs decided best action for me was to stop taking it altogether. So after taking 20mg for a month then 10mg for less than a week i was told not too take it any longer and had to stop.

[CanoeSlalom]

I see. Did they say anything about withdrawal symptoms at all? Also I wondered if the older antidepressants (Tricyclic) would be a possibility?

[cbd]

nothing was said abput withdrawl symtoms and the jnr doctor i saw said she wouldn't give me anything else, i just to see the crisis team, who are going out again tomorrow (saturday) to see me, and i know as soon as they ask how I am the answer will be peed off and stress after the events of yesterday. but thats a different story altogether. (hospitals and council workmen)