Have you known a therapist with issues

[SoleSource]

Of their own of which have hindered your progress

[lauratheexplorer]

I have. It is entirely unethical and the therapist should immediately refer you on to someone impartial. Ask for a referral.

[HecateHarshPants]

I once went to see a counsellor who spent the whole time talking about herself. That was useless.

Everything was turned round to her. She related everything to a situation in her life and really ran with it

I didn't bother going again.

[MadBusLady]

Not issues exactly, but definitely had them projecting unnecessarily. One therapist once told me it must have been "humiliating" for me when I was temping in admin work because I'd had such a good education. The temping was actually a period just after having quit a job I hated and I found it liberating and loved it. I was actually in the course of explaining exactly this to her when she broke in with "But that must have been so humiliating for you!"

What a snob

[SoleSource]

I think mine is a snob too.

[belindarose]

Mine seems to be trying to stop me breastfeeding my newborn baby (who isn't causing any problems at all!).

[MadBusLady]

What does he/she say? (if you want to say)

Maybe I'm being unfair to her with "snob" - maybe she really was just assuming that given my education etc that was how I would see it .

I think they definitely have "scripts", and perhaps the mark of the less good ones is they don't refine their thoughts on you as more data emerges. Every single one I've had has started out perfectly convinced that all my problems must come out of having had pushy parents. Except... I didn't. I really, really didn't, and I'm as puzzled about where my crippling perfectionism comes from as anyone. The better ones have abandoned the pushy parents script as soon as they realise it won't wash.

[Lottapianos]

I had one who laughed at me when I said I was projecting my feelings onto a member of my family. And said 'well what did you expect!' when I told him my DP was a bit put out that I was reading a book about violent men ( I had a previous DV relationship)

Sad thing was that he was my first therapist and I didn't know any better so I continued to see him for a while. I have a new therapist now and she's totally fab.

[bigTillyMint]

Yes. One who worked with children. Major issues.

[MadBusLady]

Lotta that is bloody awful.

I've just remembered something else about the snob therapist. I was getting a bit confused about how much "work" we were doing on my mostly unremarkable childhood, so I went in one day armed with questions about my current situation, about procrastination and time management and why my head was always fuzzy and techniques to stop the fuzz, and she told me I was trying to detract from the "real issues". And then spent another fruitless hour trying to wring evidence of my parents' perfidy out of me.

Think I'm still quite angry about it now I come to think of it

[extratoastwiththat]

I honestly wonder how many of them there are out there without their own issues getting in the way of what is supposed to be their work. I do know there must be some; but not many.

[bigTillyMint]

extra, I know one who works with children who is well-adjusted

[ReallyTired]

I that councelling/ theraphy type jobs attract odd balls.

I think that learning to manage their own issues is part of a theraphist's training. Transference and counter transference happens all the time. Ideally a theraphist should have supervision so that he/she can manage her own issues.

[Lottapianos]

I know MadBusLady, what a total tosser. I'm quite about it now but just felt frustrated and confused at the time. It's really scary how much damage an incompetent therapist can do.

[SoleSource]

Mine looks down her nose at me. She just confuses me with tiny quickly added on statements. We are total opposites.

[SoleSource]

Belindarose, why? U ok?

[Lottapianos]

SoleSource, don't put up with it like I did. You need to find a therapist who you can trust and who you respect, someone who will give you a safe place to talk about whatever you need to. I feel that I could almost tell mine I had murdered someone and she would listen without judgement and support me to work through it!

[piratecat]

unfortunately yes, i know one who has just finished her training and is the most self righteous opinionated woman ever.

It's just wrong.

[MadBusLady]

Are the added on statements tending to undermine what you've just said Sole? Or change the meaning of it in some way?

I think it's very difficult to know when someone is legitimately suggesting another interpretation to you, and when you're actually right about your interpretation and they're twisting things for script reasons/their own transference reasons.

But clearly something isn't going right if you feel confused and looked down on.

[AmberLeaf]

I think that learning to manage their own issues is part of a theraphist's training

It is majorly.

[SoleSource]

Now I have calmed down I think I was in tge wrong. I hate my damage.

[Gigondas]

source- its tough.

I have lost track of times I have hated my therapist and thought she had issues. Have stuck with it and in time I have come to appreciate what she had to say or what I had been projecting into her as being part of harder things to deal with.

And I am glad I stuck with it as is one of best things I have done and am most proud of.

[Justme23]

Therapists are only human. They/we have issues too.

But to bring them into our work is strictly against everything we stand for.

We are there to be totally impartial, devoid of stereotypes and judgement. We are there to listen, counsel and to diagnose depending.

I am disgusted that you have been through these experiences and the first and only thing to do is report, report, report.

[Lottapianos]

Gigondas, I've never thought of going to therapy as something I should feel proud of. But you're right - it completely is! It's flaming hard work and costs a lot of money and is just so painful at times and it involves a serious commitment to taking responsibility for your own life and trying to undo the damage caused by other people. and

[Gigondas]

All you say is true justme about how critical it is to be impartial. My post was an personal view about how sometimes I have thought my therapist was bringing her own issues in erc when it was more my own problem.

I am therefore wary about Thinking its clear cut (apologies to op) as a therapist who has been properly trained and done sufficient therapy and work to be able to be impartial should not be doing this.

As an aside, this is also the reason whenever I hear someone who would like to be a therapist who isn't happy or prepared to do a lot of therapy themselves.

[Earlybird]

Without question, there are good and bad therapists.

But consider this: it is natural to have strong negative feelings toward your therapist because they 'force' you to look at difficult/painful experiences - and the most frustrating part is though they help you understand what happened (and perhaps why), they don't tell you what to do to fix it! They simply listen and support as you work through what to do. And, that is usually a lengthy and emotionally exhausting process.