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A sweary thread about anxiety. You have been warned.

(131 Posts)
ChickensHaveNoLips Thu 12-Jul-12 21:31:51

Fuck off anxiety. Take your shitty, twatting blown-out-of-all-proportion circling thoughts with you. Stop making my poor ole brain fixate and obsess over ridiculous things that raise my heart rate and make me want to run. Stop making me bore myself with this arsing, ridiculous, shitting arseholery.

My name is Chickens, and today I am cripplingly anxious because my dog has got a bit arsey with other dogs trying to take his ball. Yep, it's that twatting trivial. I hate you, brain.

Dolallytats Thu 12-Jul-12 21:39:36

Oh Chickens, I am so with you!! I have had anxiety for 8 years. For the past 2 I have been agoraphobic. I can't seem to make the rational side of my brain override the irrational side....nor can I get my body to listen either!!! I know the anxiety is just feelings, but it makes me feel physically and mentally shit.

I'm scared of being like this forever, but I'm also scared of facing it. ROCKmeHARDPLACE!!!

I hate my brain too. Hope you feel better for getting it all out x

Mooshaboom Thu 12-Jul-12 21:44:19

I trod in dog poo last night in flip flops and had to come home and bleach/wash my feet, flip flops and jeans on the doorstep. Ever since I've been panicking and totting up the things I may have contaminated and worrying about making my family ill.

I'm not even particularly house proud normally, it's just the latest fixation.

Bugger off anxiety.

LostInWales Thu 12-Jul-12 21:46:03

May I join you all? How lovely to meet some other people that understand that having anxiety doesn't make you stupid too, it's just a fucking arse of a cunting chemical imbalance that should just fuck right off. NOW.

I love/hate how I can rationalise it but not make it fuck the fuck off at the moment (and you fucking GP, no swimming twice a week will not make things better ok?)

ChickensHaveNoLips Thu 12-Jul-12 21:53:23

EXACTLY, Lost. You know it's irrational. You know what it is and why it's happening. But it still takes over. I feel like I'm watching myself, all hunched up and nervous looking, and I'm all hmm at what I see. But I can't. Stop. Obsessing. My dog has snapped at a couple of other dogs when they come close. He is possessive about his ball. He hasn't hurt another dog, and isn't aggressive usually. So why am I panicking? Because in my head, he's done it again, and either seriously injured a dog or randomly eaten an old lady. And everyone is cross with me. I am guilty of owning a dog killing/granny eating dog. In reality, he's snapped a bit and warned other dogs off and I can do loads of things to correct this behaviour. Loads. So why the FUCK am I beating myself up over something that hasn't even happened?! Because my brain hates me. Bastarding brain!

LostInWales Thu 12-Jul-12 21:59:57

So lovely to be in your company grin, my GP just stares at me when I try to explain how I'm looking in at myself boggling at how stupid it all is but I can't make it go away.

I have tried to do too much recently and I think I've blown a fuse, never mind the holiday I am booking where we stay in 6 different places over 3 weeks, and please God don't get me started on going on the ferry with three children (the year I had two of them attached to me with climbing rope got me some stares but did they fall in the sea? No! wink) Oh dear, now I sound like a loon. <Joins Chickens in a chorus of 'bastard fucking brains'>

Mooshaboom Thu 12-Jul-12 22:00:03

The worst part is that whatever you do to remedy situations that are making you panic, your stupid brain will find something ridiculous to agonise over...

I could be a millionaire, in my dream job and without a car in the world and I'd find something to worry about.

TeacakeTilly Thu 12-Jul-12 22:01:17

Hey Chickens smile I have been reading your dog posts with interest and I think you sound like a wonderful dog owner.

Part of my reason for getting a dog... Animal therapy - stroking dog makes me less anxious. I can sympathise with you. I shout at my brain and it just won't SHUT UP!!!!

babyheaves Thu 12-Jul-12 22:02:53

I'm with you. Anxiety can fuck off.

LostInWales Thu 12-Jul-12 22:06:03

I'm fairly sure I have been terminally ill with different maladys and not likely to last until Christmas for about the last decade, (although I suppose if I keep it long enough I'll finally be right wink). That seems to trump every good thing I could have going for me. Yet to know me I am queen of cheerful, there's just a part of me inside shouting 'would you just get over yourself' at a little old lady catastrophising. Sometimes I would just like to sit here at my computer and not leave the house. Ever.

ChickensHaveNoLips Thu 12-Jul-12 22:07:11

That's it, Moosha <nods> Before I tied myself in knots over the dog, I used to obsess about my pet hens. Were they too noisy? Would they lay an egg at 5am and annoy the neighbours? Would a fox get them? WOULD THEY HAVE TO BE CULLED BECAUSE OF BIRD FLU?!?! Oh, I am an expert in the irrational twattery that is an anxiety disorder <glum>

Teacake, my dog makes me happy in so many ways. Hence him being the anchor for my anxiety at the moment. Because I'm so worried about losing him sad <punches self square in the face with irritation>

LostInWales Thu 12-Jul-12 22:09:58

Fuck! (sorry forgot the sweary bit in my last post) Bollocking bollocks to stupid brains.

MorrisZapp Thu 12-Jul-12 22:13:44

Dear Panic Attacks,

Why don't you just fuck the fuck off? You serve no fucking purpose, so why do you even exist? Do you think it is fucking funny, making me completely lose my confidence and self control? You cunt, you don't even care do you.

And while we're here, could all the well meaning people who say that we control our thoughts and they do not control us also kindly do one? I mean, get to fuck. Really.

If I control my thoughts then how the fuck is it that I can fall asleep thinking happy thoughts, only to be woken at silly fucking o'clock by a loud banging noise, which upon closer examination turns out to be my heart? How? How? You can't fucking tell me, so fuck off.

I'm a nice, loving person and I try to be tolerant. But anxiety, I fucking hate you.

ChickensHaveNoLips Thu 12-Jul-12 22:14:41

<standing ovation for Morris>

LostInWales Thu 12-Jul-12 22:16:07

<stands alongside Chickens and claps so loudly her hands hurt>

Cockpark Thu 12-Jul-12 22:18:04

Look up 'Power Over Panic' by Bronwyn Fox. Helped me through major panic attacks. So sorry for you, it feels so overwhelming, try it, it really struck a chord with me.

creativepebble Thu 12-Jul-12 22:26:53

Yes. How lovely to meet you.

Fucking bollocking bollocks and fuck the fuck off to anxiety and brains that JUST WON'T STOP churning and churning and dredging up more tossing 'What ifs' and 'Yes, buts' and paranoid ramblings of an inconsequential nature.

How we would love to get a grip and stop the crap and halt the cycle and get off the bus and. just. breathe.

How we would love to be able to see things in context and within the BIG PICTURE and keep things in fucking proportion with the world.

We have been wired differently. Handling worry can be fine at time and MURDEROUS at others.
Deeeeep sigh blush

ChickensHaveNoLips Thu 12-Jul-12 22:26:59

Cock, you have to swear. It's the rules <hard stare>

creativepebble Thu 12-Jul-12 22:28:20


festiemum Thu 12-Jul-12 22:28:31

morris I bloody love you!

Panic Attacks can kiss my ample arse!

Anxiety can fuck the fuck off too!

MorrisZapp Thu 12-Jul-12 22:34:20

I fucking love you all too.

(and my good pal temazepam)

ChickensHaveNoLips Thu 12-Jul-12 22:35:06

Fuck me, creative, your random wank just made me cry with laughter <wipes eyes>

thixotropic Thu 12-Jul-12 22:41:03

its a fucking pile of steamy cunting shite

i fucking HATE bastarding worrying over feck all

i have so many things to be grateful for

why the FUCK am i obsessing

bastard well fuck the fuck off - and the fucking migraine you have given me


thixotropic Thu 12-Jul-12 22:41:38

oooh that felt surprisingly nice

Jacksmania Thu 12-Jul-12 22:47:50

Fuck off, anxiety, and fuck your big huge pal who rode in with you and is making it hard to catch my breath the last couple of days.

Why don't the pair of you just goddamn fucking sit on it and spin - instead of making me nearly grey out while driving the car so I have to sit by the side of the road breathing into my hands and making a fucking cunt of myself to every curious wanker who drives by and gives me the look.

In the words of the immortal George Carlin, may he make the angels in heaven or the devils in hell weep with laughter, shitpissfuckcuntcocksuckermotherfuckerandTITS to all of you - anxiety, panic, crushing depression, worry, sleeplessness, fear, and all you bloody wanking motherfuckers who make my life a living hell sometimes. Fuck the fuck off and when you get there, fuck off the rest of the world, you pile of green arse worms!!!

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