Alternatives to SH?

[PaperView]

I know lots already but so far they haven't taken the urge away. Have not cut since xmas and i'm not entirely sure that its cutting i need to do anyway. I think i want to break a bone

[BellaBoo85]

Well done for not cutting since Christmas
Not sure how to stop the urges though..i wish I did.

[Chocattack]

ime the urges are last to go I'm afraid.

[PaperView]

ive been ok and managed to not do anything at all ( i don't just cut) but recently i'm struggling with it. i think cos i KNOW it will work.

[BellaBoo85]

My latest urge killer was having a great big girly fit over a huge spider running across the sofa I was on

[MrsMuddyPuddles]

Diazapam and talking to the Samaritans until it kicked in helped me last week

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I've emailed the Samaritans a few times and just felt patronised. I find it ridiculously difficult to talk.

I ended up cutting last night. Well, scratching cos i didn't have very sharp things in the house. Now i do.

[MrsMuddyPuddles]

I can't tell when I'm being patronized (or when I'm patronizing) unless it's really bad.

[PaperView]

i assume i am all the time i think

[FreckledLeopard]

An alternative, and please don't think I'm being facetious, is simply not to cut. Don't think of it as an option. I know the relief and immediate stress-relief feels good, but long-term, it's just perpetuating the cycle and achieving nothing but bleeding, scars and being labelled.

I've not cut since 2003. Life has certainly not been plain sailing and am currently going through a divorce, possible job change and DD moving schools. Trust me, I would love stress relief. But not in the form of cutting or other self-harm.

SH is not effective long-term (smoking, alcohol, drugs all similar). It will further isolate and alienate you from others who find it threatening, passive-aggressive and alienating. A friend of mine self-harms and I know realise what it's like to be on the receiving end of the behaviour - you feel hopeless, helpless and angry with that person. And the more one self-harms, the harder it is to think about living in a way that doesn't involve scars, mental health teams, crises.

Think of it this way - if you cut, what will it achieve in the long-term? Are you going to be happier, healthier? Or are you going to go further down a dark road that's very hard to get off?

How long have you been self-harming for? What are the underlying issues?

[PaperView]

I've self harmed off and on for 15 years.

[PaperView]

(pressed send too soon)

In different ways, not just cutting.

[MrsMuddyPuddles]

Paper- so if we put your approach and mine together, we'll have two people with a normal understanding of when they're being patronized :o

FreckledLeapord: what effective long-term methods for relief (from stress, and from unwanted thoughts) would you reccomend/have you done in the last 9 years? (well done, btw!)

[FreckledLeopard]

MrsMuddy - effective, long-term methods. I guess, the main thing for me, was a change in mindset. Last time I was in hospital, nine years ago, on a psych ward, had self-harmed, was suicidal etc, a nurse said something that really resonated - "you can choose whether you want to be a patient for the rest of your life or if you're going to live normally".

I think it's easy to fall into the trap of seeing yourself as passive, as a victim (which you may well be - I know lots of people have had untold crap in their childhoods etc that can cause SH behaviour). Point is, you have a choice, however hard that is. You can choose to be a self-harmer, or you can choose not to. I was told this in no uncertain terms and it really did help me. I vowed never to go back into that kind of mind-frame and never to go back into any kind of psych hospital. I've tried to stay on the right medication for my depression, take it regularly, see my doctor regularly, ensure that I don't miss doses, try to ensure that I don't expose myself to too many triggers (for example, at my lowest and most fucked-up, I would fantasise about suicide, read about it, google things on it, read about self-harm, listen to depressing music - not helpful).

So, in terms of stress - I cry far more than I used to and I think that's probably a good way of getting stress out. I allow myself to be angry with other people (if they deserve it - not just random people!) rather than turn the anger in on myself. I say what I feel. I take more risks with my feelings and endeavour to accept myself for who I am (which is difficult as I've never felt that I've 'fitted in' as such). Going through a divorce now, though, is quite liberating as I come to terms with the life I want to lead, rather than the one I thought I ought to.

I had a good therapist for around six months that helped me process things. I decided to go when things were stable, when I was fairly happy (as opposed to in a crisis) and I could explore things and understand things better.

But for me, biggest, biggest thing is making the conscious choice to stop being a victim/a patient and start living my life.

[MrsMuddyPuddles]

Thanks for that, Freckled!

Funny, my GP wanted me to wait until I was past crisis before starting councelling, too...

[PaperView]

Hmmm I never ever cry, haven't for years.