Presuming I'm in the right place. Long and may be rambly

[Feelslikegivingup]

I'm 29, have a good home with loving DH and 2 DC. We live on the breadline but manage to make things meet (never sure how though). I am due to go back to work in Sept as a behaviour mentor in a primary school and DH works as a sales assistant. We have a supportive family, so all should be well with the world.

Yet feel lazy and incompetent. I think this may be to do with my mother (when is life not about your mother hey!) MY DS is 10 years older than me and her life seems to have panned out so differently. She stayed on at school to do her a levels and then went on to study at oxford, where as I went to college and did a BTec in childcare, much to my mothers disgust, Anyway DS received a first and went onto teach high school children. After a couple of years she decided to travel for a year and did many things and achieved much more, before coming home and settling down to train in the ministry and have a family.

I on the other hand got a low paid job in childcare and became pg with a man who was totally unsuitable. We split when DS was 18months.
I moved in with DS and nannied for all our children, and helped her cope with a divorce and depression. Anyway we both moved on and found better men.

She has now given up work to foster children, on top of her own DC the eldest in not yet 10.

I don't seem to keep up to her standards (at least in my mums eyes) Currently we are both at home due to my maternity leave and get on well, just always feel completely inadequate as I don't seem to manage my life as well as she has hers.

I know I haven 't expressed myself well and will probably end up drip feeding as questions are asked, just feel crappy about myself and my abilities. Just need some help. Please.

[Arana]

Have a look on the Stately Homes thread on relationships - it's all about toxic parents and how they screw us up.

You'll get lots of support there.