Borderline Personality Disorder

[HypercriticalOaf]

I'm certain I have it.

I've been referred to the CMH team but could anyone here please discuss it with me?

I'm feeling quite alone (I am in a sense, though sabotaging many close relationships) and would really appreciate hearing anything from anyone who has or who has experience of Borderline Personality Disorder.

[madmouse]

I don't have it but know a fair bit about it. What makes you think you have it and how do you feel about it?

Personality disorders are hard to diagnose correctly and hard to have. There are also a few other conditions that can mimick the symptoms.

Have you been told how long you have to wait?

[TheQueenOfSheba]

Personally, I don't believe it exists. It's a catch-all term often used in Child Protection cases to justify otherwise indefensible decisions. Rather like Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy.

[HypercriticalOaf]

TQOS Such concerns (outrageous responses and potential implied CP issues) have prevented me from seeking help for over a decade.

Mouse GP has sought referral for diagnosis as he believes I am high functioning but that there are definite aspects of my behaviour (character, thought processes, beliefs and reactions, etc) which are outside the realms of what would be considered 'normal' and within the realms of what could be considered to be part of 'Borderline Personality Disorder'.

I don't know how long I have to wait. I've been aware since late childhood that I'm not 'right' and once got close to approaching HCP's for help but went through a period of what I now realise was dormancy (my environment was secure, settled and the optimum for me to live as close as is possible to normally) and thought my issues had gone as far away as they ever would.

I've been living with me being quite ridiculous (apologies to anyone else who has this) as has everyone I know and struggling enormously for nearly five years since that dormant patch so I'm determined to get to the bottom of it this time.

I'm a good mother (GP isn't concerned about my children's welfare at present) I'm generally able to limit the negatives of myself around them, I've sought support where appropriate and my DC are fairly unaware of my problems but I absolutely must address this before they get much older.

[HypercriticalOaf]

*I'm a good mother - I have met my children's requirements. I'm starting to flounder.

[HypercriticalOaf]

Is there anyone else who can add their perceptions or experience of BPD please?

[katcatkat]

I have diagnoses bpd and am having treatment.
For me it has been possible to access treatment and i have been very lucky with the area i live in there is treatment available
I just realised a few years ago that i could not live like this any more.

[HypercriticalOaf]

Thanks Kat. Do you mind me asking if it's helping? I'm not sure what I'm likely to be offered, I do know my GP has put forward a psych referral. He was good, we sat and spoke for over an hour. I meet nine of the specified criteria for BPD. I'm feeling some comfort in beginning to understand (probably) why I have for ever felt so damn wretched.

[thepeoplesprincess]

I have it, and it definitely e;xists.

Feel free to ask any direct Qs. I can't do such vagueries as "add perceptions or experiences" I'm afraid :)

[HypercriticalOaf]

Thanks princess (feel free to ignore the following!)...

What led you to seek help?
What help (if any) have you been offered?

I have a mountain of broken destroyed friendships (and some relationships) behind me, (obviously, I don't know if you can relate to this but if you can...) hmmm, I don't know what I'm trying to say! That I'm finding it very difficult to accept that most people I know/have known would describe me as 'kind but difficult' 'sweet but impossible' etc - so, maybe I'm trying to ask how do you cope with other people's views of you and of BPD?

Do many people in your life know you have been diagnosed with it?

[HypercriticalOaf]

Could anyone disclose what's it can be like to have a parent/friend/partner with BPD?

[katcatkat]

It's very hard and I am struggling immensely at the moment but I do not regret getting the diagnosis or looking for help.
I am having group therapy which as I can expect you can imagine can be difficult.
It has taken 4 years to get to this stage though.
I am married and have 2 primary age kids.
Many days I can see that the therapy is working and I can see others getting better but not today

[Spink]

Happybubble, sometimes a label isn't a bad thing, if it can help to get help, or help others to understand.

[Patrickjane]

I think my husband has it
And it's a nightmare

If you do have it, it's a massive step to start off the admitting process

[Conflugenglugen]

From my limited experience of it (I am a therapist), the diagnosis itself also seems 'borderline' in that it is contentious - but that doesn't make the symptoms any less real to the sufferers. There are several forms of relatively new therapy that seem to be very effective: Dialectic Behavioural Therapy being one of them. And the incidence of BPD in older people is relatively low - which again might indicate the 'fluid' nature of the diagnosis.

That may or may not be interesting to know, but all of that aside: yes, get help - give it a good chance: a challenging therapy does not mean an ineffective therapy. Not by a long shot. Keep at it.

[HypercriticalOaf]

HBB Thanks for your input. My GP described BPD as a trauma spectrum disorder which does support your view, to an extent.

I responded to him that I felt differences in personality are natural and agreed that the term 'normal' should be used carefully if at all (given our varying perceptions of 'normal') but that when someone is so at odds and ill at ease with themselves, who they are and those around them (and has been for a lifetime, among many other negatives) then there is an issue regardless. He agreed effusively.

He was not quick to 'label me'. I did tell him that I was in no way seeking a label, to which he grinned and responded with "we don't call them labels but diagnoses and diagnoses can sometimes enable us to work towards treatment". I suppose defining the areas of my issues as probable BPD enables him to refer me appropriately.

Just work on being a kinder, more compassionate, wiser and happier person Thank you again. With this, I need help.

Kat
Thank you for sharing that with me. It's reassuring to hear that you don't regret seeking help and yes, I can't even imagine participating in group therapy (yet)! Was it any relief to you to find out that you weren't alone in this? ...I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling today.

[HypercriticalOaf]

Spink Diagnosis

PatrickJane You have my sympathies. I know that I can be extremely difficult both towards and for myself and for those around me. Thank you for your encouragement. What is it that makes you think your DH has it, if you don't mind me asking?

Conflugenglugen Thank you, I do find that interesting to know ...I spoke with my GP about some theories as to why it appears to have a lower incidence in older people (shan't bore you with it here though!).

[thepeoplesprincess]

Erm I think some of you are leetle bit confused about; what BPD actually is. It isn't a medical term for being a bitch y'know . Mine manifests itself in severe mood swings, impulsivity, social anxiety, bulimia, self harm and alcoholism. I am no less "kind" and "compassionate" than anybody else, ta (!).

[thepeoplesprincess]

In answ;er to some of your questions, it was the overwhelming suicidal thoughts that drove me to seek help. My care coordinator helps me keep the wolf from the door, and I'm c;learly still alive, so it's obviously helped in that respect.

[thepeoplesprincess]

how do you cope with other people's views of you and of BPD?

Ha, erm, how to put this? Basically, if you can answer this question, then you don't have BPD. Severe identity disturbances, and a complete lack of sense of self are core symptoms.

[HypercriticalOaf]

Princess I would hate for this thread to cause upset. I invited 'all' input as I'm fully aware of the negative view that many people I have known would have of me, due to some of the root issues I contend with. Erratic moods, impulsiveness, SH, abandonment fears and my actions upon those fears, social phobias and apparently unreasonable reactions, and so on, can cause me to appear to be a bitch.

I am kind, I am compassionate, I can also (and much to my horror and discomfort) unintentionally be a grade A twat.

Fortunately, I am fully aware that firstly, I have only so far received a GP's suggestion that I have BPD and that secondly, everyone is different. I by no means mean to insult or hurt anyone who has BPD and I'm very sorry if I've offended you.

If I discuss my difficulties I am referring only to my own experience of myself (and that of others experience of me) and I think it's important to make clear that I fully own what I say of myself and by no means intend to disparage anyone with BPD, suspected or otherwise.

[HypercriticalOaf]

crossposted somewhat.

how do you cope with other people's views of you and of BPD?

Ha, erm, how to put this? Basically, if you can answer this question, then you don't have BPD. Severe identity disturbances, and a complete lack of sense of self are core symptoms.

.....Well put! . For me, I would say it's perpetual confusion and a constant state of flux.

[Arana]

I'm currently waiting to see my psych. I will bring up the possibility of BPD as I meet most of the criteria. I'll see how it goes. Feeling very agitated at the moment.
I've written a lot of the stuff down as I'm better with the written word than speaking.
I'll see how it goes.

[HypercriticalOaf]

How long is your wait likely to be Arana?

[Patrickjane]

I have struggled with my husband for years. At first, he would just react to everything in an unusual way. Unpredictable, but also he would do things that just didn't make sense. E.g he would suggest doing things in a much more complicated way, or suggest going to certain shops in a completely illogical order, putting hours on the day

Then it was the intense anger, and the control, and the abuse aimed at me.
Mood swings, hyperactivity, complete overreactions to small inconsequential things.
Can't work out how other people will feel about things, cannot ever put himself in their shoes
Anxiety, has serious stress/worry issues which result in physical responses. Has really bad stomach issues , which can be immediate, following a row.

Emptiness, loneliness, hates his life( which is pretty good)
grass is always greener somewhere else
Really truly believes he is hard done by, cannot see the good in his life

Impulsive self damaging behaviour
drinks too much, too much drugs, gambles on everything
sexual promiscuity before I met him
possibly infidelity since, involvement with escorts

Munchausen's
He pretended he had a brain tumour, radiotherapy

Cannot reason with him, once he has an idea in his head, that is it, no changing it.