I have a lot of trouble getting over and abusive relationship from my past. I met him when I was 16 and he stalked me, put pressure on me to have sex with him and also pressure to date him. I dated him for 5 years. He was very controlling and controlled what I ate. I ended up dropping out of university as I developed anorexia due to his control. My family were frightened and I was very fucked up.
A few years later after I just about managed to get back on track he came back into my life and I ended up on a psychiatric ward for a month with suspected hypomania although i think being around him triggered it.
Since then I have managed to complete a degree and pgce but looking back I have never been quite 'well' since the relationship ended. I concieved dd in less than ideal circumstances and I remain single, lonely and depressed.
I am on citralopram waiting for the effects to kick in. Only 10mg might up to 20mg.
I do feel a bit 'stuck' in the past, especially regarding this relationship. I just feel like he ruined and damaged my life. He had so much control over me. I beat myself up for choosing him and all my other decisions. I think I need abuse councelling.
I am also aware that I might have a personality disorder. Finally I am struggling very much with motherhood, especially single motherhood. I feel unsupported and unloved. Since mum died last year I have the feeling that life is too short and that i hav eto live life to the max and yet I cannot live life to the max at all with my little dd. Instead I have to do 3 year old stuff which I find dull. I used to travel all over the world but I feel frightened to take dd anywhere. I am in a place I don't like.
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Mental health
How do I come to terms with the abuse? Feel like a broken woman.long
13 replies
toptramp · 28/04/2012 09:10
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