Please come and talk to me (about anything) bloody anxiety :(

[Marne]

I am shaking, my chest is tight, feel sick and am running to the loo all because dd1 feels ill, i wish i could sit with her, stroke her hair and be calm but i can't as the fear of her vomiting is making me so anxious that i can't let her see me like this. I feel useless .

Have just started on new medication but was told i could feel worse before i feel better, was really hoping that one of the dd's would not be ill around this time.

Dd1 is now asleep but tossing and turning, i am in bed waiting for her to wake or be sick. She said she has a tummy ache. a head ache and feels yuk (she wont say sick as she knows that i can't handdle it), feel so guilty, even though i have tried everything to beat this horrid phobia and anxiety, now my dd1 knows i can't cope well and she is now getting the same anxiety about being ill. I feel like a useless parent.

I wont be able to sleep as i am so anxious.

[MissBetsyTrotwood]

You are not a bad parent. You are a wonderful, loving, coping parent who is very aware of herself.

Is anyone with you? You don't have anything to prove over this, especially not while you are adjusting your meds.

[ouryve]

You're not useless. I get really chewed when the kids are poorly. Specially DS2 because he gets so weak. Even if your anxiety is exaggerated by your change of meds, it's still, at root cause, a natural response.

Irrational is DS1's concern about the broken streetlight outside. It's been dodgy for years, but ended up completely knackered after "Hurricane Bawbag" back in December. He quizzes me about it every day after school, asking if anyone's tried to fix it. Of course, they've taken the bulb out and given up on it. I've told him he needs to write to the council and tell him how unhappy he is about it. (You did say talk to you about anything)

[Marne]

I might as well be on my own, dh is downstairs glued to the tv , he doesn't really understand (just tells me to snap out of it).

ouryve- your ds sounds lovely, thats the sort of thing my dd1 would worry about too .

[Wolfiefan]

Agree with Miss Betsy!

Wouldn't it be lovely if you could snap out if it? It's not something you can control at the moment. That must be what is so awful.

Hugs. (Don't care if the hug police come for me!)

[ouryve]

Streetlights are one of his huge obsessions. He draws pages and pages of them and since this one has been broken has been making them out of lego, bendaroos and everything! He has me swinging between wanting to hug the living daylights out of him and wanting to scream - often both at once!

[MissBetsyTrotwood]

My DS1 worries about whether the dog loves him or not. And about who has the most porridge in the mornings. And about whether or not he'll ever be able to read 'Beast Quest' like his glamorous friend's glamorous big brother.

You might get some sleep. If not, can you do anything to make the night more comfortable? The best pjs, warm socks, hot water bottle, perhaps even keep the heating on?

[ouryve]

Marne, hope you're managing to get some sleep.

[MissBetsyTrotwood]

How's everyone today Marne?

[Marne]

Thank you so much for your posts, we got through the night, she woke once coughing but i managed to get her back to sleep, she then got up at 5am but by 8am said 'i think i'm well enough for school' so i sent her in and she has been fine (just a very dry cough). So she wasn't sick .

[Marne]

And Ouryve, my dd1 is obsessed with sale by dates sinse i sent her to school with a out of day yoghurt (was only out by one day), yesterday she had me checking everything in the fridge

[liveinazoo]

phew.did you happen to see tis morning yesterday?they had someone with V phobia-i dont say it either and apparently there was links for help and advice.im currently in cbt.wishing you lots luck and healthy kids til you are feeling stronger!

[Marne]

I am now panicking agin ,just saw dd2's TA and her daughter has a tummy bug, her daughter is usually glued to dd2 at school (she looks out for her and treats her like a sister), i'm hoping we don't get it but i know i will be on edge all weekend, roll on half term.

[ouryve]

Sending virtual dettox and sneaky hugs.

[liveinazoo]

i wastold on one these threads you cant catch from being round someone prior to them be ill so should be ok

sending hugs and calm thoughts.x

[Marne]

I am crossing everything, its 1's birthay on monay and she's so excited, if she's ill she will be so upset , dd2 came out of school sharing a cup cake with the sick childs sister, i tried not to panic and made a quick exit before the child could stuff anymore ito dd2s mouth.

I'm ment to up my medication tonight (anti d's) so am hoping they will help me relax a little.

[twange]

Give your DH a swift kick up the derrier!!! If you've got a phobia of something, then surely he should cover that corner for you??? My DP just cannot do 'poo' lol!!! but that's ok as he's pretty good at DIY and Cooking so it's a fair swop!!

Try not to stress about possible lack of sleep if you can. I know it's so hard, but stressing about it will definately make it less likely you will sleep so you really have nothing to gain. When I've been upset because I am yet again awake and I know I will feel crap etc... I've learnt to just tell myself to just accept that a night lying in bed, even if awake, is still 'rest' and if that's the best I can manage, then so be it. I usually nod off eventually thankfully, but it stops me lying there willing myself to go to sleep.

[Marne]

Thank you, i managed to get some sleep, both dd's are still fine (still crossing fingers).