ds being admitted to psychiatric hospital today

[kaylasmum]

Hi, my 25yo ds has bpd and has had behavioural problems since he was 2yo. When he was 16 he started self harming and took overdoses of paracetamol. At this time he also admitted to being gay. Since then things have been up and down but over tthe last year or so things have become much worse. Earlier this year he took an overdose and cut himself but seemed t be gettig back on aneven keel.

I just found out last week that he's been cutting again and that he was taken by ambulance to a+e for quite a serious cut that required 14 stitches, he'd almost cut down to the bone, he's also started burning himself.

He's been addicted to codeine for the last 5 years or so and has been trying to come off them without much success.

He was back at the hospital yesterday as he'd taken 16 tramadol and they wanted to do some tests. While there he broke down and tried to cut himself. The got an emergency pysch nurse in who managed to brong him down and after cutting himself again in thee early hours of this morning its been decided to admit him to the local psychiatric hospital. I know its the best place for him but i'm in shock i think. I'm just coming out of a particularly bad spell of anxiety myself and i'm worried that i'm not going to be able to suppport him as much as he needs me to.

To top it all off my 4yo ds has just come down with a vomiting bug and i have a huge phobia of beiing sick!

[NanaNina]

Hi Kaylasmum - I recognise your name from the MH thread but can't remember any details.....age I think! Look I think you should feel very relieved that your son is being admitted to a pysch ward as this is where he needs to be. He will probably be on what they call a 1 - 1 to ensure that he is safe. You mention bpd - is this borderline personality disorder or bipolar desease.

You must take care of yourself, and wait until your anxiety has subsided considerably. Your son will be cared for and when you are feeling better you will be able to visit him. Are there are friends or relatives who might visit him until you are up to it.

Take care of yourself - that is the first task I reckon.

[roastparsnipsandbrusselsprouts]

Hi kaylasmum.

It sounds like this is a good step for your son. He needs time to stabilise and needs to be somewhere safe while he does this. I know it must be upsetting but I agree that you should feel relieved that he will be much safer where he is and is likely to be well again much more quickly.

The best thing you could do to help him right now is to concentrate on reducing your own anxiety. Have you visited your GP for support to do this (sorry I don't know your history). It is possible that he won't be able to have visitors for a little and if they are allowed it might be easier for him to see people who are less emotionally involved to begin with.

I know it is not done on Mumsnet but I am sending you a big (((hug))) and some reassurance that this is the first step towards things getting better.

[NanaNina]

Just out of interest why is it "not done" on MN to send out hugs to each other. I have often wondered? Sorry KL I am hi-jacking your thread but only briefly honest, cus I'd certainly like to send you a big hug!

[roastparsnipsandbrusselsprouts]

Nina I have very little idea. I suspect it is to encourage us to offer more concrete advice and support where we can. I do believe a (((hug))) is the answer and all you can do sometimes though.

[GladbagsAndYourHandrags]

You poor thing. I think its every parent's nightmare, your child being in pain and not being able to stop it. I am glad though that your son is in a safe place where he can be helped to get better.

Look after yourself and I hope your little one is better soon too! Have you got people to support you while you are supporting everyone else? (Well of course you have, you have MN, but irl?)

(((((Hugs))))) from me too

[kaylasmum]

thanks for the replies and hugs.

Nananina - we've spoken on here before, you helped me a lot over the last few months when i was suffering from health anxiety and depression.

I know my ds is in the right place and he actually wanted to be admitted but i'm just so sad for him, he seems so lost. My eldest dd went with him to the hospital and told me that he has really messed his arm up, he did'nt just cut it like he normally does but was gouging large pieces of flesh out! I don't understand why he's doing this and i worry about him getting some horrible infecttion in the wouund. He's told me he's not trying to kill himself, he just feels that he has to cut.

Its borderline personality disorder that he has and is waiting for DBT. My eldest dd also has BPD, is this all my fault?

[cestlavielife]

no it is not your fault!
even if genetics involved - i dont know if they are - you are not repsonsible for your genes.

[cityhobgoblin]

Hi kaylasmum , sorry you've had such a hard year & your DS is so low atm . Agree with the posters saying you aren't to blame . Can't imagine how hard for you this is .

Really glad the anxiety is improving , and I empathise with emetophobia as I have it too . Hope the bug isn't too awful

You'll be drained enough by worrying about your DS , without providing more support than you can actually manage whilst recovering . Hopefully your your DS will absorb the fact that you're thinking of him all the time , are so proud of his long term efforts to hang on and make a more stable life for himself , but that if you don't take some time to look after yourself you won't be available at all . Glad your daughter was able to go with DS , what a distressing time for her

I'd think DBT and withdrawing from the codeine should make DS feel much better , and hope posters with experience of either see your thread too .

I don't know why hugging is said to be frowned upon here ,NanaNina , but when I first lurked here years ago there seemed to be posters keen to promote a public school "feel" , of which I think that was a part ( sorry for garbled grammar )

[cityhobgoblin]

( though obviously roastparsnips's reason is the more sensible one )

[wannabestressfree]

My son is currently in a psych ward under section so I understand what you are going through. Focus on you, he is in the right place. Am sending hugs too :}

[bulletpoint]

kaylasmum more hugs i'm so sorry to hear about your poor son, how awful for you all these years you must have been through a lot already.

But....Now! he will start to receive treatment, and slowly things might just start to get back on track. I wish you all the very best.

[pretendhousewife]

I always say that when something bad happens, try to find something that you can take from it and use for a positive change. I can see a few good things so far...

1. Your DS is in the right place - he is safe for now.
   
2. You can focus all your energy on dd4, who needs you to show her that you can get through this.
   
3. You can shower your other DD with love and appreciation for taking DS to hospital and being a great sister.
   
4. Perhaps you will be able to get more help for yourself.