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Can't go on and pregnant

(27 Posts)
soko Thu 20-Oct-11 18:47:55

I'm 24 weeks. I don't want to exist anymore.

Tortington Thu 20-Oct-11 18:50:19

you definatley need some professional help. you need to speak to a healthcare professional about this.

maristellathewitch Thu 20-Oct-11 18:50:53

Soko what has made you feel like this? Talk to us x

LadyInPink Thu 20-Oct-11 18:52:40

Do you have someone with you right now? Can you call your mom?

If not talk to us x

CobOnTheCorn Thu 20-Oct-11 18:52:45

Soko, are you there?

You're not alone...

banana87 Thu 20-Oct-11 18:53:55


Cheeptrickortreat Thu 20-Oct-11 18:54:49

I feel like this some times and i'm 33 weeks pg. But i chose to have this baby and it is a person and i'm not a killer. Its ok to kill myself but not another person is the way i look at it.

Also everything will pass in time. Things will get better.

Please talk to us tell us what is wrong. If you have a HV number or the crisis team number please call them as they can help.

soko Thu 20-Oct-11 18:56:24

DH is at home. He doesn't understand. I can't speak to anyone.

I feel so stuck and empty. I wanted this baby but my employer has made my life hell because of it so GP signed me off sick. Now there are issues with housing. But generally it's because I moved here from abroad to be with Dh and I hate it. It makes me vulnerable because I don't know how things work hence the housing situation issue.

And now, I feel like I don't want this baby anymore. I'm horrible.

Cheeptrickortreat Thu 20-Oct-11 18:57:14

If you can ask a friend or family round to sit with you that helps me.

Or cleaning and just wait for the feeling to pass. You will feel better.

soko Thu 20-Oct-11 18:57:59

I was in town today going down an excalator and there was this moment where I was tempted to just throw myself down it.

LadyInPink Thu 20-Oct-11 19:01:31

Soko, were you on anti D's before you fell pg? Is this feeling new or have you felt like this before? It's hard for someone close to us (DH for e.g) to understand which is why you need to speak to a professional.

Cheeptrickortreat Thu 20-Oct-11 19:03:02

Killing yourself or your baby will not change your situation.

Break your problems down. Write them down here and we can help you work throught them and it will make you feel better.

soko Thu 20-Oct-11 19:03:45

I was on fluoxetine before but came off it at the start of this year. So the feeling isn't new but has genuinely been triggered by me having to live somewhere I don't want to stay anymore I think.

Cheeptrickortreat Thu 20-Oct-11 19:05:42

You need to go see the GP or call the out of hours doctors and ask them to put you back on anti d's as you are feeling this way.

soko Thu 20-Oct-11 19:11:03

But going back on ADs won't change the situation. Sorry I posted.

Cheeptrickortreat Thu 20-Oct-11 19:13:00

Its ok dont be sorry.

No Anti D's will not change your situation but it will help you cope better with it.

LittleDragon Thu 20-Oct-11 19:15:58

soko please go to nhs direct they will be able to give you suggestions to help and if it's needed they will offer emergency help. Just answer the questions truthfully and allow them to help you. They don't judge and are there to help.

TheOriginalFAB Thu 20-Oct-11 19:19:30

You need help and you can get help. This is a chemical inbalance in your brain which can be treated with medication, just like any other illness. You need to get some support now if your DH can't or won't give it.

banana87 Thu 20-Oct-11 19:19:56

You need to call someone. ASAP.

LadyInPink Fri 21-Oct-11 10:03:33

How are you doing today soko?

Rogers1 Fri 21-Oct-11 11:23:13

I do have sympathy soko...but these problems can be dealt with...with getting the right help.
I am not dismissing your feelings...but please realise that you are carrying a wonderful gift...many woman would trade places with you if they could just for that opportunity.
You should seek help immediately with your midwife & GP.

madmouse Fri 21-Oct-11 17:06:09

soko you have to realise that your illness is doing the talking here, it's the depression that is telling you at nothing is worth it anymore and that nothing will help. It's not an objective reality. Get help, for both your sakes.

soko Fri 21-Oct-11 17:38:18

Hello. I'm feeling a bit better today. I still find it hard to stop crying but I feel like I can get on top of the issues that make me so unhappy and I realise that hurting myself is not an option.

I was at my GP's this morning as I needed a new sick note for work anyway but didn't say anything about how I felt yesterday. But when he took my blood pressure, my pulse rate was 155 and he asked me if I was feeling anxious. I just burst into tears and couldn't stop crying. The female GP I see usually was on holiday, so I had never seen this one and because he was going on his lunch break, he made me lie down and stay til the pulse had come down somewhat. He took bloods to exclude thyroid issues etc but I'm wondering now, because he mentioned feeling anxious, if it might actually be anxiety I'm feeling.

I can feel that my heart is beating too fast and I do feel very uncalm and can't stop crying since I got so upset yesterday. It's like there's an endless supply off tears and my face is sore by now. I was waiting outside my work while DH handed in my sick note and this old lady walked past and asked me if I was ok and I started crying again. I eventually convinced her I was just having a bad day. What a fool I'm making out of myself.

GRW Fri 21-Oct-11 17:55:00

It's good that you've been to the GP and had some tests done; I hope you will get some follow up, and some ongoing support from your midwife.
There is no need to feel guilty about needing to cry, and please feel that you can come here at any time for support. Did your GP discuss the option of going back on medication? Anti-depressant drugs can be used to treat anxiety too.

LadyInPink Fri 21-Oct-11 18:47:11

I have suffered with anxiety so know exactly what you are going through. Anti Ds help combat anxiety as well as depression as the two go hand in hand. I did the same as you and went to the GP about DD actually and he asked how i was and i just burst into tears - he also was a new Dr but was fantastic. I was just so overwhelmed by everything and was very stressed and anxious (DD had been in and out of hospital and I'd just been given the all clear and i just went into meltdown)

So glad you saw your GP, he will keep a close eye on you and make sure you keep up your follow up appoints. Having a baby is stressful and so don't beat yourself up about feeling this way but know it's just a chemical imbalance doing the talking.

Do come back and keep us posted - i wish i had had mn when i was going through mine smile

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