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I want to give up

(88 Posts)
TheOriginalFAB Tue 18-Oct-11 18:04:59

Please can someone give me some head space sad.

Uglymush Tue 18-Oct-11 18:06:36

Please explain more so others can try to help

GRW Tue 18-Oct-11 18:08:12

I'm sorry you feel like giving up. Can you say a bit more about your situation so that we can try to help?

TheOriginalFAB Tue 18-Oct-11 18:13:35

I am blush too as I have been called attention seeking on here before but I need help as I want to finish things.

Uglymush Tue 18-Oct-11 18:17:26

I am not very good with words, but I certainly won't accuse you of attention seeking. If you need help ask for it and then only listen to those that want to help not the idiots who just want to increase your pain

GRW Tue 18-Oct-11 18:20:16

Are you saying that you're seriously thinking about suicide? Do you have someone in RL you can call to be with you? Suicidal thoughts should always be taken seriously, and I'm sure people on here won't think you're attention seeking.

TheOriginalFAB Tue 18-Oct-11 18:21:26

Thank you. I appreciate your words very much.

I have a few blush threads about my son being bullied for so long with the school not able or willing to stop it, we have had to take him out of school. The bully has now started on dd. We are seriously thinking we will have to take all our children away from that school.

My cat isn't well. I know just an animal but she means the world to me and I have had her for 17 years.

I am extremely stressed, over weight, on ante depressants and not sleeping well at all.

I have a court case which is dragging on and that is extremely stressfull.

It is one thing after another and I feel like what is the point. My whole life has been a battle and now I haven't anything left to fight back with.

TheOriginalFAB Tue 18-Oct-11 18:22:21

GRW - honestly? I would like to die, yes.

Tianc Tue 18-Oct-11 18:24:06

<puff huff puff>

<struggles onto thread dragging huge amphora of Oomph>

Delivery for Ms FAB. Sign here please -> .......................

(PS There may be a free, unMNetty hug at the bottom of the jar, but don't tell anyone.)

Tianc Tue 18-Oct-11 18:26:32

<wonders if amphorae are really what Oomph comes in. Maybe that's where I've been going wrong all these years>

QueenofJacksDreams Tue 18-Oct-11 18:30:19

Fuck it hugs Fab Sometimes we all need a hug, I know how you feel but you can and must keep on fighting. I feel like giving up at least once a month but people on here have helped me through some of them so I hope I can repay the favour and help you.

Your cat will have had a wonderful life with an owner that has tret her well and loved her all her life so many animals don't have that. If she dies she will go happy and loved not afraid and alone. You've given her that feeling of security. Don't be afraid to mourn her, we should all love our pets like you, they bring so much to our lives and ask for so little in return.

What have you got in your life that makes you happy?

GRW Tue 18-Oct-11 18:32:21

That is a lot to cope with. It must be horrible to see your children being bullied, and school not dealing with it effectively.
I'm sorry about your cat; I am a cat lover too, and agree that they are an important part of the family.
If you have a DP I hope that they are supportive.
Can you make an emergency appointment to see your GP tomorrow? Sometimes changing medication can be helpful. If you are suicidal thay should take you seriously. Do you have a CPN involved you could talk to?

TheOriginalFAB Tue 18-Oct-11 18:33:42

Thank you both.

I feel ill with it all.

Maybe there is a reason all this shit is coming my way. Maybe I need to listen.

I am happy I have my husband and my children.

snailoon Tue 18-Oct-11 18:34:24

Can you find some help? You are incredibly important to your children, and you need to help yourself feel better for their sakes if you can't do it for your own.

It is absolutely awful to see your children suffer, and bullying is just terrible to deal with. Have you gone to the school again for your daughter, and then followed up on your visit? Could the police get involved? Is there someone you haven't yet talked to at the school? (Head, deputy head, head of year, councillor, form tutor, specially nice teacher, parent governor, person in charge of pastoral care, matron.) Is there someone who can go with you?

I'm so sorry about your cat; of course she is important. My cats are the light of my life, and lots of people feel the same. Death is painful, whether it's a cat or a person.

You are going through an awful time right now. Please get some help: doctor, friends, family, crisis lines. Hang in there.

TheOriginalFAB Tue 18-Oct-11 18:35:41

Sorry G, missed your post.

I don't have a CPN. Can the GP help if it is outside issues causing the problem rather than just a chemical inbalance?

hopes I die in the night

TheOriginalFAB Tue 18-Oct-11 18:37:00

snailoon - no one else to talk too at school. DH and I really feel the school don't care. If we take all the kids out they would be happy ioo as the problem will have gone away.

Hullygully Tue 18-Oct-11 18:39:24

Hugs Fab.

It's hard to separate it all out, I think. You feel like shit because you have a lot of shit going on. BUT if you weren't feeling like shit, you wouldn't find it so bloody hard.

Go see the gp. See the cpn. You might need different drugs. You need to find the right person to help with the kids and the school - or rather finding a new school.

But you can't do any of that until you feel better so go to the gp.

<More hugs>

TheOriginalFAB Tue 18-Oct-11 18:44:06

Thanks hully. I had been fine with regards to the depression (I am on a high dose so I would blinking hope it would make me okay) but this is all too much. I lost ds2 in the park and when he showed up I yelled, other mothers glared at me. I don't have any friends at the school and I know no none likes me but I used ot be funny and great company sad.

GRW Tue 18-Oct-11 18:44:08

From what I understand depression may be triggered by outside issues, but once it has been triggered then chemical imbalances come into play, and it may not improve without medication and other support. If one drug isn't working then another might suit you better.
Please hold onto the fact that it's treatable and you can get better. It must be horrible to feel so low, and please let those around you and on here support you.

TheOriginalFAB Tue 18-Oct-11 18:44:43

Sorry, Hully, not hully.

Hullygully Tue 18-Oct-11 18:47:00

What's a capital here or there?

If you can keep the kids out, it might be better to do so and all have a breather while you regroup and lick wounds.

Somewhere inside all of it is you. Just might take a while to find her.

TheOriginalFAB Tue 18-Oct-11 18:48:16

Thanks G. Maybe I should see the doctor again confused.

I have been having anxiety attacks and I am feeling cold and shaky now.

TheOriginalFAB Tue 18-Oct-11 18:49:56

Having the kids has meant I have lost myself. Still would rather have the kdis though.

We are sending DS1 to an independent school and might have to send the others there too. I can't bare them being there anymore though dd would say she is fine there.

Uglymush Tue 18-Oct-11 18:55:35

hugs

Life is tough when lots of things start to build up at once. Taking each thing at a time you could probably cope. Have you tried to break everything down into sections?

firstly the cat - what does the vet say? 17 years is a great age for a cat, I am sure you have given it a great life and shown lots of affection.

Secondly the bully - have you followed the school complaints procedure? If so and stll getting no where then if they are with in the Local Authority go to children services (I think that's the right place) and explain to them you are getting no where. Move your DD to a better school. If this current school doesn't care about bullying ther is probably a lot more they don't care about.

Thirdly - But probably most important - You, go and see your GP explain to them how you feel and ask for a referal for counselling. In the meantime remember you have friends and a DH so talk to them as well as on us

GRW Tue 18-Oct-11 19:02:53

I'm sure your kids would rather have you here too. Anxiety and depression often go together; tell yourself that you're safe and nothing bad is going to happen.
I hope the school situation improves soon, it must be hard to feel that you're not being listened to. I agree with snailoon it might help to talk to the governors if your DD wants to stay there.

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