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Help - question about depression

(11 Posts)
Reallydown Fri 14-Oct-11 13:41:59

What I'm curious about is have you got through severe depression and now feel that you live a normal life? How did you do it?

I've had bouts of severe depression, sometimes diagnosed sometimes never consulting a GP, for over a decade. The current one, which is heinous, is the first time I've been given ADs. It started as anxiety last year, and became a horrible combination of the two sometime around February. I got given ADs in May. I've now been told to up the dose. I just don't see how I get out of this. I've put on 2.5st, I am struggling to function, I have crippling IBS and I cannot stop eating or buying things.

I just don't see a way out. It feels never ending. I don't really know what to do with myself, and it's going to end up affecting my work, let alone the fact that my DH is really worried about me, and my kids know I've been poorly for months. My Mum knows, and DSis (but they have no idea how bad it gets), but nobody from my workplace.

I'd really appreciate advice/help from others.

Rogers1 Fri 14-Oct-11 15:54:08

So sorry to hear how bad you are feeling right now. Have you been offered any counselling...CBT....?

Reallydown Fri 14-Oct-11 16:14:41

I had CBT a couple of years ago after a bad period of depression. It took a while to get an appointment. The lady I saw seemed to struggle to get to grips with exactly what I needed help with - there were so many issues! I went for 8 sessions, which left me feeling more and more frustrated, then I stopped going. The doctor this time hasn't suggested anything. It is 'reactionary depression' which has resulted from a set of circumstances which will hopefully change. However, these circumstances are improving, but I'm not. I'm starting to feel like I should be in hospital, but I really have no faith that hospital/counselling/CBT will do anything for me.

Reallydown Fri 14-Oct-11 16:15:49

I also have no faith that the ADs are helping. They did for a bit, but seem to have worn off. And the eating/buying is out of control.

Rogers1 Fri 14-Oct-11 16:41:24

Health professionals aside...do you have any support? Friends/family who can help?

Rogers1 Fri 14-Oct-11 16:48:00

You sound like you need support & reassurance. I only wish I could offer more help/advice. I went through a spending compulsion when me & my DH broke up briefly afew years ago. I understand how it grips you & how great you feel (briefly) with all you new treasures! However...the guilt out-weighs that eventually. I had no support...but did try CBT..which thankfully did help.
Have you thought about giving it one last attempt...with a different person?

Reallydown Fri 14-Oct-11 16:50:19

My DH, that's about it. But I don't know what I need in terms of support. I don't really have any close friends. I live away from my family. People regard me as a strong person; I'm not used to sharing emotion. I'm also worried how this might affect my job. I've been off sick for a few days, I can't self-certify for much longer, and I'm not sure it would be helpful to do that anyway. Being at home hasn't helped.

Rogers1 Fri 14-Oct-11 16:57:02

Have you tried alternative medicines instead of ADs? Herbal...walking etc. Would help with the physical symptoms you are also having.
If you are not used to sharing emotions...it must be hard to process feelings this big alone. It's good you have your DH for support. It's good to have someone who you trust...as it sounds like health professionals haven't gained your trust.

Reallydown Fri 14-Oct-11 17:01:46

I think I cross-posted! I've just rung a therapist who can see me next week. I'll have a go privately in the hope that it might work better for me.

I'm just sad I have to wait until Tuesday - it seems so far away!

Reallydown Fri 14-Oct-11 17:03:57

Thanks Rogers. I used St John's Wort years ago, and that helped. The reason I agreed to ADs this time is that I have had awful anxiety and IBS that was stopping me from functioning, worse than ever before. Also, because nobody knows why I'm off sick, I'm nervous about going out (I work near where I live) in case I am seen and have to explain.

Rogers1 Fri 14-Oct-11 17:08:25

That is great news that you have phone & made an appointment...that's a massive step forward.
Good luck with it on tue!!
As for work...if you are seen...tell them it was a 'horrendous tummy bug..so if I was you I wouldn't get too close'!!
Wishing you all the best in your appointment & your future

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