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Anyone else get depressed about getting older and also seeing their parents get older?

(12 Posts)
NotInTheMood Fri 14-Oct-11 12:44:24

And realising how short life really is. I can see how much my parents are ageing and how things are getting more difficult for them with age. I almost feel this awful dread and feeling of loss and think about how I am going to cope without them. I know its really morbid but its only every now and then I get down about it. My mum lost my nan at a really young age and yet I am 31 and still am not mentally prepared to ever say goodbye to them. My parents are in their mid 60's by the way.

Rogers1 Fri 14-Oct-11 13:08:07

Hi NotInTheMood...I have had the same feelings. I get them feelings when I am at my most anxious. It is both upsetting & distressing to feel this way so I truly sympathise with you.
Do you mind me asking if you do have some sort of anxiety...depression?

ScaredKittyWitchyKitty Fri 14-Oct-11 13:16:09

I know how you feel. I'm 39 and my parents are in their 70's, so realistically I know that they probably have around 10 or so years left (hopefully longer though, obviously). Although they are relatively healthy and active, both are on medication for various ailments and my dad has a pacemaker. It kind of makes it worse that I'm a single parent because when they are gone, I'll be totally on my own with my DS, with no-one to help me make funeral arrangements etc sad.

NotInTheMood Fri 14-Oct-11 13:16:43

I do suffer bouts of depression but in general I am ok I just get on with things I never seeked medical help. I have been aware of more anxiety issues though and feeling like I am going to have a panic attack now and then.

MysteryMe Fri 14-Oct-11 13:25:37

I am glad of every day my mum is with us (she is not ill by the way).
My dad died when I was 20 my dad was only 52. It was a long time ago now but there is not much that can prepare you for it when it happens. It's just a sad part of life that will happen to all of us one day.
Sorry if that is insensitive but that is just how it is!

All I can say really is make the most of people while they are still with us.

NotInTheMood Fri 14-Oct-11 13:30:40

Aww sacred Kitty I know how you feel xx And Mystery I know what you are saying realistically it could happen at any time and we should make the most. I think its just the loss of control of time. I also am used to my parents looking after me still but I guess there will be a time when I will be looking after them. I just think it makes me feel sad.

Notchattingnow Fri 14-Oct-11 21:34:00

I think its well worth thinking about because in our culture many of us don't experience much death and so when parents die its a real biggie and difficult to cope with.

shshiney Sat 15-Oct-11 20:38:20

Message withdrawn

shodatin Sun 16-Oct-11 10:28:10

Of course it's depressing to think of these things. I've found the only help is to list all the ways you/parents/best friend are doing well, and are actually younger than their age e.g. still have good hair, or teeth, or mobility or don't need chiropodist, even just enjoyment of parts of life, but as shshiney says, yes, it's shit, and most of us go through it at some time.
Hope you feel less depressed soon.

Bunbaker Sun 16-Oct-11 10:37:38

My MIL is 82 and her memory is going downhill at an alarming rate. She has slowed down a lot in the last year. She used to be such a strong woman, but she is so vulnerable these days. DD loves her granny and when the inevitable happens I think she will be more upset than we will.

One of the things that people regret after a loved one dies is that they didn't spend enough time with them before it was too late, so we go and see her as often as we can, and make the most of it. (She lives 150 miles away, so we don't get to see her as often as we would like to).

Earthdog Sun 16-Oct-11 20:22:46

Yup, lost both my parents over the last few years, my darling Mum and Gran last year. It has destroyed me really :-(

BlackCatinaWitchesHatonaBroom Mon 17-Oct-11 10:42:49

Earthdog, it's hard but you have to find the strength to get through it. I lost my dad but still have mum. It can take years to feel "o.k." (Not sure if that is the right word) .
<sending hugs>

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