Feeling paralysed and listless

[grrd]

A situation in my life has got stuck and left me in an obsessive state of mind. I feel paralised and listless. I have been like that for 3 weeks now. My life seems put on hold. I cannot focus on my daily life. I cannot function. Since I am working freelance this is a problem, because I cannot just turn up in an office and ?kill time?, so my state of mind stops me from doing anything.

The reason is very real for me but sounds sooo stupid: I want another child, DH doesn?t. We are so stuck. So I am obsessed with all things baby, pregnancy, etc, and cannot think of anything else, cannot tear myself away from looking at MN (conception etc boards). That?s all I can manage to do all day.

I know I have too much time. The devil makes work for idle thumbs.

It is so hard to focus my attention away from my "problem" and do something productive.

Any advice would be appreciated.

[madmouse]

As this is so obviously a big issue for you you will need to keep talking together to figure out a way forward. What are both your reasons for wanting more/not wanting more?

In the meantime leaving conception boards etc alone is a good idea. Time enough for those if you decide to go ahead - no need for self torture.

Take some steps to interrupt this listless paralysis. Do something else that is not work but still active, sweep leaves or whatever). Start work and keep going for 30mins (set a timer) then decide what you will do next. I don't often say this as it will invariably sound like you're not being taken seriously, but you do need to shake yourself a bit x

[grrd]

Thanks madmouse!

Thanks for telling me to shake myself a bit. I know you don't have to say that often, because not often there's such a silly, self-inflicted problem.

Your advice is great and really the times that I have felt a bit better in the past few weeks was when I was active (especially outside), so sweeping leaves etc is great. I just need to control my behaviour. And yes, will set timer. Just need the discipline to stick to it.

I also felt a bit better after I wrote the original post.

[madmouse]

There is absolutely no need to call your problem silly. Wanting another baby is a serious thing!

[grrd]

true, wanting another baby is a serious thing.. And if I don't manage to convince DH in the end, I will have to deal with letting go properly. But it still shouldn't make me so paralised right now that my whole life is on hold. I cannot let that happen.

Have made a list of all the things that I have let slide in the past 3 weeks and am working on it. Feeling much much better.

I also use the timer and it helps to split up the day into 30 minute segments to make sure I don't obsess but do something productive. 30 minutes is a timespan I manage to control myself.

thanks again, you have really given me the push i needed.

now just need to stick with it