DH has been mildly depressive / manic depressive for as long as I have known him (11 years), and we have so much other stress going on in our lives at the moment that I just don't have the energy / headspace to continually prop him up like I have done in the past.
He has also just started a new job with the same company, so is throwing himself into his work, trying to make a good first impression, taking on extra work and turning the business around. He has been there for two months and has already totally revolutionised the workplace in a brilliant way - people can't stop going on about how great it is now he's there, he's being praised right left and centre, by everyone from the people he manages to the MD for the whole company. But he won't relax at all - he is still tryig to take on new work (he wants to take ownership of it, so that he can get more good credit for when he turns it round). When he was taken on in this new position it was a bit of a risk for the company as he didn't have previous experience, so he was initially on quite a low wage for the position. He is hoping that the work he has done will give him a good pay rise come pay-reviews in April and May, so I can see why he is working so hard. BUT...he doesn't need to do any more. He has already made a fantastic impression. He needs to ease back and focus back on his family that have had to make sacrifices for him to be able to do this job in the first place. I'm not asking for much, just 5% say of the effort he puts into work into his family instead. And not just physical time and presence, but coming home in the evening not totally drained, miserable and exhausted. He enjoys his work immensely, enjoys the challenge, but it totally drains him.
I don't know if this is classic bipolar/manic depressive behaviour (he goes through mildly manic and mildly depressive phases anyway) but he is always manic at work, and depressive at home. The more manic he is at work, the more depressive he is at home. He can be lifted out of the depression at home by doing family activities etc, but he usually has to throw himself head first into these in a manic way.
So, anyway, I've got the point where I can't handle this any more - he wants more support from me, and I just can't do it - there are no more compromises or sacrifices I can make. I've suggested that the ball is in his court - if he is struggling then either he needs to regulate his work/life balance himself, or he needs to seek medical help, but he is unwilling to do either. He point blank refuses to see a doctor, and is so intent on not failing with his new job that he won't ease up at all.
Any suggestions?
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Mental health
Positive suggestions on how to get DH to go to the Drs for his mental health
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Arana · 06/10/2011 07:47
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