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Just feel like a crap mum/partner/human in general.

(5 Posts)
IneedAbetterNickname Tue 04-Oct-11 22:03:59

Well, like the title says really. Just feel like a complete and utter waste of space atm, and when ever I try to speak to anyone about it, they just go all condecending, or maybe thats just the way I interprete it confused sad I don't know whether I'm being unreasonable in my expectations, or if other people are sad

Not sure if this makes any sense, but struggeling to put things into words!

divedaisy Tue 04-Oct-11 22:19:12

IneedAbetterNickname - I know how you feel. And when you feel like shit and feeling so low I think anything other people say is so annoying. Maybe you need to speak to your GP??
What's up anyway? What has you like this?

IneedAbetterNickname Tue 04-Oct-11 22:56:53

Ahh, blimey where to start!! I was diagnosed with pnd about 2 years ago, Id been suffering with it for about 2 1/2 years at that point. DP left me around the same time (we are now back together). He says he left because he couldnt deal with my mood, and the fact that I rarely did any housework. (Awful I know, but thats how depressed I was). I still maintain, that while that may be partly why he left, he had another woman 'lined up'. Anyway, the depression got so bad that my so called sister, called social services on me, and they temporarily removed my 2 children. Trust me, I am so ashamed that my house got that bad, but heck I have to be honest. I am working with a SW and a family worker on orgainizing, and maintaining the house to an accpetable standard.

Anyway, fastforward to now, me and DP are back together, he says he has realized what we had etc etc. People have been really nasty to me about it, saying I'm stupid, and that I'm a 'mug' and so on. Then when DS2 started school this year, we had the teachers do their home visit, they reported back to SW that the house was untidy, but my family worker was there the same day, and was perfectly happy with the house. I was talking to a friend about it earlier, and she just said "well you do have lots of toy boxes in your lounge, you should keep them in the boys bedroom!" hmm I personally don't like my children having toys in their rooms, and dont see the difference between having toy boxes in a bedroom as oppose to a lounge. Just struggeling to understand what is genrally acceptable as a clean and tidy house, my house is easlily as clean and tidy now as most of my friends, and the house I grew up in.

Then today we were having a discussion about the school (me and other mums from same school I mean) and I said that when I would consider homeschooling my children if the school they were in wasn't good. (It is btw but was just discussing that kinda thing) One of the women there commented that I wouldn't be able to homeschool, as I'm not qualified enough!!!! She hardly knows me, and while I don't have any qualifications past GCSE, I am actually an intelligent woman, who, according to the college, would be welcome on any of the courses I am torn between doing (early years teaching, midwifery, or psychology).

Hope that all makes sense, and thanks x

divedaisy Wed 05-Oct-11 16:35:16

you should see my house when I'm in full blown depression... what's wrong with kids toys in the lounge - they're in boxes all neat and tidy? my ds has a lego room and I just close the door to that mess. depression is a terrible illness to have and is as bad to have to live with someone with it. i can understand your dps reaction and I can understand you getting back together again - so what what other people think its your life and your decision. my dh found it very hard to live with me - he just worked longer hours so as not to come home cos he couldn't cope. hes very motivated and driven and it frustrated him that he couldn't find any way to motivate me!!

IneedAbetterNickname Wed 05-Oct-11 17:53:52

Thanks hun! Nice to know someone understands me x

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