Feel so very sad about everything

[EightToSixer]

I've posted before about undiagnosed anaemia and depression. Originally I was diagnosed citalopram but told to stop after 5 days when I went into hospital for an emergency transfusion (haemoglobin was 6.8. Ferritin 3).
Two weeks ago I started fluoxetine and having very few side effects which is great (just a bit of 4am insomnia, dry mouth and headache).

What I'm posting about today isn't so much about the depression or medication, but about how sad I'm finding everything at the moment. I've had a hard year, DH has been made redundant and is working his notice while looking for other work, I had a few problems outside my control about a project I'm working on at work, my sister has had two late mcs, my dad has regular strokes which at any point may kill him, or he may live for another few years ( his dementia is so bad that he doesn't know who anyone is now). My DD's friend lost his battle with cancer aged 8 and I've watched his parents deal with that devastation and now today my dear next door neighbour is having his life support machine turned off after a major blood clot on his brain yesterday.

Looking at it all written down it's no wonder I'm depressed really, but I find just everything so sad. Even happy things have me crying. I cried through DS's school concert, DD did a happy dance for me today and I cried because I'm so happy to have two such wonderful healthy children. It's like Day 4 of having a baby - you know the day you cry all day. But I just don't know what to do to not feel so sad about all these things all the time.

Any advice/ideas most appreciated. Not sure how to claw myself out of this.

[SkiLift]

oh my good ness, poor you. It certainly seems like you have had more than enough to deal with. No wonder you feel so down.

No real words of advice, just wanted you to know that even the strongest person would be affected by all that.

HGopefully the fluox will get going soon and you will begin to feel a bit better x

[Shakey1500]

Poor you :(

Well, as you say, it's no wonder you feel sad, you've had to deal/are dealing with many sad things. I think you really have to attribute your feelings solely to these things and reconcile that it really is ok and expected that you feel this way, at this time.

[HappyFinnish]

I know what you mean about the crying at happy things, I've had this happen too. I think this is normal when you are coping with so many emotions and such sad situations as you describe, and adjusting to medications as well. It sounds like you're doing brilliantly. I'd say just have a cry if you need to. Notice the feelings, let them ebb and flow, and be gentle with yourself.

[MosEisley]

op, I have a question for you about your anaemia - have you been told that this is a cause for your depression? I was very depressed during all my pregnancies and I wonder if my low iron was part of the reason for that. What is the treatment like?

It sounds like you've had a very tough year and have many good reasons to be feeling low. I know we're not supposed to hug on MN but I think you deserve a one.

The poignancy of seeing something happy when other things are going badly seems like a normal trigger for crying. The happy innocence of your children is a contrast to your own knowing sadness.

[MosEisley]

Sorry I realise I haven't given any good ideas / advice. Have you asked for counselling to help you address the grief and loss you've faced this year?

[EightToSixer]

Hi and thanks for those who have posted. It's reassuring to know that I would be expected to feel sad with all this going on.
Sorry it's taken me a while to reply, I have been to my neighbours house now she is home from hospital and trying to help her between work and childcare.

Mos - initially I came off ADs when I had the diagnosis of anaemia as a symptom of anaemia is low mood. However, GP suggested a different AD to really help with sadness so I'm giving it a try. My mood has been improved a little since the extreme anaemia, but not enough. This week has felt worse again.

[MosEisley]

Thanks OP for answering my question. Sounds like there is definitely a link between low iron and low mood, then. I will follow up on that faster if I am pregnant again.

It also sounds like your particular situation is more complicated though. Hope the new medication works for you. It is good that you are supporting your neighbour. I think helping others, seeing their problems, and feeling like you are being useful, can improve your own self esteem and maybe your mood. I bet she really appreciates you right now.