I dont know how to help....PND

[mememummy]

My neice is 21 she has two beautiful children born after horrific pregnancies and births and her second was born at 32 weeks. DS1 is 2 and DD is 8 months both wonderful children developing normally. She has just been diagnosed with PND started on anti depressants and sent to a councillor also health visitor has been absolutly fab! However when shes alone she really struggles when I turned up after a distraught phone call from her mom this morning she was sobbing about her bad dreams and the fact house was a mess (immaculate compared to mine!) and that DS1 was kicking DD2 and she couldnt even have a wee incase someone broke in and took them, after calming her down sending her for a bath etc I rang the councellor and got her seen today, but what can I say to help how can I support her etc? Any advice with how to help as a relative would be very much appreciated!

[divedaisy]

mememummy - i hope your neice has seen someone about this since you posted here. I had a very bad time with PND too also to the point where I was paranoid and hallucinating. It sounds to me that she has more going on than 'just' PND and needs a lot of support. Maybe her HV needs to visit daily. It is a very scary place to be. I felt that my kids would be taken away, or that I would be 'locked up' for being a bad mum. I saw terrible things in my head that wouldn't go away and haunted me. My mind made me overly sensitive and aware of dangers (mostly relating to the kids) that whilst probable were very unlikely to happen - paranoia and extreme anxiety and nervousness.
How long has your neice been on her AntiDs? They do take a few weeks to work. IMO councelling at this early stage may be too much for her to handle - she needs to be more stable.
The problem with giving you advise is that no matter what you say to her, her mind is not reacting normally, so she may not have the energy or rationality to follow and understand what it is you are trying to help her with. She may even become paranoid that you are plotting against her - that is what I thought when my hubby spoke to my HV & phoned the GP. I couldn't comprehend what was being said to me; I couldnt make decisions - I just didn't know my own mind.
Be there for her. Let her get plenty of sleep as that can make a big difference. Let her talk when she wants and is able. Don't try to 'fix' her - just listen and accept what she is saying without questioning too much - she won;t have the energy or maybe doesn't even know 'why'.
Let me know how you and she gets on. It is a terrible illness but given time she will get better. It is also hard for friends and family - it takes its toll on the best relationships so don't take anything too personally.
Thinking of you. Big hug. xx