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stalking, delusions and depression in ex

(2 Posts)
cestlavielife Mon 26-Sep-11 16:23:16

exP has depression/anxiety. left him 3.5 years ago. has had supervised/unsupervised/back to supervised contact with DC as his MH ha gone up/down and he has shown aggression in anxiety phases.

currently he is desperately trying to push (text and email) the delusion that we can get back together, be a family again and that this will cure him.
"if we are back together as a mum dad and chidlren it is best for all". "i will be fine if we are together"

he is not just MH - maybe personality disordered? his behaviours when "good" were abusive and controlling as well as the phases of depression/anxiety, which erupted in violence.

I cannot have in my home to visit dc let alone in my life.
but he refuses to hear this from me or from anyone.
"you could change. we could all be happy together if you forgive me and let me in". "we ahd children together cant you see we need to be a family? teh dc need a family" etcetc

now reaching point of harassment/stalking.
I have been v clear in saying we are not together and will not be together again, saying please stop harassing me.

other than going legal route to stop him harassing me, what more can be done?

it is clear he needs help/therapy to come to terms with being single separated dad, he will have a better life if he does this (and me and dc too) - but he refuses help. lady who supervies contact has tried =- but he wont listen to her either.

he is apparently on meds (mirtazapine), sees his GP weekly and has seen a psych - but who knows what he has told them...

should i send his texts/emails to his GP? would it help them to see what is happneing? to then help him move on?

NanaNina Mon 26-Sep-11 22:32:21

Hmm - this is a tricky one. I don't think sending his texts to his GP is the way to go - his GP is going to be mostly concerned with his meds and they do not have the time (nor inclination in most cases) to discuss private matters of their patients.

Given that you have been separated 3.5 years, is this a recurring thing, or is it new. If it is new, do you know if anything has happened in his life to start this delusional thought of "playing happy families" - whichever it is, I honestly think the only thing you can do is to continue to stress that the relationship is over and you would appreciate it if he stopped harrassing you. If you feel you are in any danger (as in stalking) then I think you need to contact the police. The trouble is you and the contact supervisor are trying to meet his irrationality with rationality and it is not going to work.

If he has a personality disorder, then there is no real treatment. I imagine you will have to ensure that the children are safe when having contact.

Sorry can't be much help - you could resort to a legal remedy but even that might not stop him.......but maybe worth a try.

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