What sort of help are we looking for?

[looneytune]

I'll try and keep this short. Been with dh for 15 years now and had to deal with lots of depression, anger, low self esteem issues etc. in that time. He definitely needs help but not sure what sort? In the past (before we met) he has seen people, I know at some point he saw a psychiatrist but I'm not sure how long ago that was or how many times. I've been very unhappy many times in our relationship because of his issues, including breaking up a year ago. At that point he was referred for CBT and did some sessions, appeared better but lots of things have happened since we got back together which has made life very hard and he slipped back into the other person again. We're separated again but are hoping to sort things out but he knows I can't do this until he gets some real help with his problems (it's like only a break up makes him wake up to his problems when he's in that place!).

Anyway, what I want to do is make sure he is referred to the most appropriate help. I'm pretty sure his issues stem from a terrible terrible childhood if that helps?

If anyone can give me any pointers I'd very much appreciate it.

TIA.

[madmouse]

Sounds like he needs some good solid psychotherapy. One of those cases where a CBT referral is inappropriate - it's good stuff but not a sticky plaster for all situations. If the NHS gives no joy you may have to consider going private.

[looneytune]

Thanks for that, will see what we can get from NHS as unfortunately we have HUGE HUGE debt and would never be able to go private in a million years. I agree about the CBT being nice but a sticky plaster isn't what he needs! You aren't the first person to use that phrase!

Fingers crossed!

[cestlavielife]

he needs to be very honest with GP about what he wants help with. to get the right referral.
eg if he wants to deal wth his chidhood isues.

not much you can do - he has to do it.

look up MIND etc for free or cheaper counselling services as a start?

CBT can be very good for some issues but if his depression, anger, low self esteem issues are long standing then it may need more than that... but again - only if he really is preapred to open up and accept help and say what he wants...

[headdoctor2008]

I'd echo psychotherapy which some NHS will provide, but bit of postcode lottery. Alternatively could start with Relate so he can manage better with you?