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PTSD sufferers, please come talk to me

(12 Posts)
mosschops30 Mon 19-Sep-11 13:31:09

some of you will knw the back story.
Had PTSD after traumatic childbirth, was against medication, did trauma focussed therapy. Then seemed to get worse as the 1 year anniversary approached, saw a psych for legal case who said i shoukd consider medication.
Went on sertraline in december, felt loads better and started weaning off in july. Have now been off them for 2 months.
However i feel like i am back to square one, my legal case is drawing to an end which im findng hugely stressful, anniversary will be nov.

Is my PTSD returning, im thinking about what happened a lot and not being able to look at it as i was when on meds, im having some flashbacks, always tired, very irritable, cant concentrate, keep forgetting or losing things. Or is it something else?

Please help, i need some support smile

purplepidjinawoollytangle Mon 19-Sep-11 13:37:15

<holds Moss's hands>

<injects bloody mindedness>

<passes wine and chocolate>

This will not beat you. You will get through it. You have a beautiful son? daughter?

Anniversaries are the worst - I had my front and bedroom doors kicked in by thugs at 3am on the 16th Oct nearly 2 years ago and I'm dreading it this year - but it's just that. It's a marker of how far you've come since the traumatic event happened.

If it helps, I've been medication free for 3 months. I'm also free of the PTSD diagnosis, although I'm still struggling with the anxiety and depression.

Sheer obstinacy is the only strategy that works for me. I won't let it beat me. Some days I acheive more than others, but bear in mind that getting up washed and dressed is an acheivement in itself to be celebrated.

You can do this.

mosschops30 Mon 19-Sep-11 14:01:28

Thanks purple i was always a tough northern girl, never let any of the shit ive been through over the years get to me.
But this knocked me for six, and continues to do so.
When i was on the medication i could cope with what happened and could look on it with a normal mindset, was also free of my PTSD diagnosis.

But i dont want to live with feelibg like this, id rather go back on the medication. How do you deal with your anxiety and depression? Did you suffer from that before the incident?
Im sorry youve been through such an awful trauma.

purplepidjinawoollytangle Mon 19-Sep-11 14:26:59

If the medication helped, take it. Don't pander to feelings of "I'm strong, I must deal with this all by myself" because it's bull shit. Depression is an illness, and like any other illness there are different treatments that work for different people - including medication.

I set myself tasks that I have to get done, but are flexible as to how I'm feeling at the time. I might decide to have a duvet day, and spend the whole time on the sofa with that laptop and a crap movie or two. These days are "rest days" and are just as important as the days where I make my own bread, do five loads of laundry, clean out the animals, scrub the bathroom then stop for breakfast. DP is learning not to look too hmm at me grin

I don't have children, though, so have the luxury of working to my own timetable!

Lottieloulou Mon 19-Sep-11 14:45:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madmouse Mon 19-Sep-11 17:28:49

Hey again Mosschops sorry you are still struggling.

Sounds like you came off the meds very quickly, possibly too quickly.

But also from my own experience of complex PTSD it's taken me about a year to get 70% better and then another year of getting 30% better, it went on forever. And still now I'm dealing with anxiety and waiting for CBT.

Your PTSD will not be returning, it is more likely that it was not yet gone and that the meds just helped you cope. You say you're having some flashbacks so it looks like progress has been made.

Also - stress always finds your weak spot, and at the moment you are hugely stressed nd PTSD symptoms have been your 'stress pathway' for a while now. I too am more likely to get flashbacks again if life is stressful, plus I get an immediate impulse to start checking my ds's health (feeling his temp etc) as soon as I'm stressed.

So I guess my advice would be to be patient with yourself and the healing process and to discuss with a doctor whether it would be wise to start meds again.

mosschops30 Mon 19-Sep-11 19:35:57

Thanks for lovely posts.
I think the guideline for meds was to be on them 6 months, but my gp did say to go straight back if i was having any problems, i am seeing her on wednesday. I just felt so good on them, could look back on what happened and feel strong about it, rather than feeling vulnerable and like a victim.

I am no longer in the system for the PTSD service so EMDR not an option unless i pay for it, which i will probably do if we win the legal case. I should know this week if they are going to settle out of court which is hugely stressful.

I just feel so very low at the moment, i cant shake it off sad

purplepidjinawoollytangle Mon 19-Sep-11 20:24:15

The court stuff will hang over you like that prick Damocles's sword. Once the stress is off, the symptoms will lessen. They will, I've given them their orders grin <wags finger>

mosschops30 Tue 20-Sep-11 20:43:22

Just had a letter from the solicitor, doesnt look like theyre going to settle soon, or easily. Better get back on those meds before i lose it completely sad

purplepidjinawoollytangle Tue 20-Sep-11 20:56:49

Take the support. And start kicking off about getting counselling - I had to fuss and palaver three times, including taking DP with me, before I got anything other than "6 weeks and jog on"

Not that the current people are any good either hmm

mosschops30 Wed 21-Sep-11 19:22:46

Thanks for all the support smile
am re starting medication tonight and re starting counselling asap. Feel better just thinking about it all

purplepidjinawoollytangle Wed 21-Sep-11 19:24:31

I've decided mine will get better once i'm out of my shitty horrible job grin

Have a wine on me while you still can!

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