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DP is depressed & suicidal - where do I get support?

(11 Posts)
OneManBand Sun 11-Sep-11 20:49:46

He's seeing his GP and a counsellor and is on close watch ATM. He's seemed ok-ish over the weekend but is still telling me that he thinks about ODing or jumping off the cliff sad I'm glad he's being open & honest with me but tbh, I'd rather not know. It hurts so much. I don't know what to do.

I've been where DP is now but I'm very private and would never have said the things he has. And I was single when I was that ill so I didn't have anyone to worry about me. I've talked breifly with a good friend but they don't really understand. I don't know where to turn really. I know it's selfish, thinking about me but where do I get support for myself? Any ideas?

OneManBand Sun 11-Sep-11 21:05:43

And can anyone link to the lovely piece of writing about depression that is often linked to on here?

GRW Sun 11-Sep-11 21:10:58

I'm sorry, it must be really hard to watch someone you love going through this. It's not selfish to realise you need support for yourself too, and it will help you to be more helpful to your DP.
I'm sure others will be along to offer suggestions of where to go for face to face or telephone support, but I Know lots of people find it helps to get support on here from those who have been in similar situations.

Grockle Sun 11-Sep-11 21:48:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cestlavielife Mon 12-Sep-11 14:29:25

go to your own GP and tell GP what is oing on and how it is impacting on you.

rethink has phone support and maybe local support.
www.rethink.org/living_with_mental_illness/caring/help_for_carers/
also mind .
www.mind.org.uk/help/people_groups_and_communities/how_to_cope_as_a_carer

OneManBand Tue 13-Sep-11 20:09:52

Oh bugger, I totally messed up that namechange - I only did it because DP knows who I am on here and is upset that I am worried about him hmm

Thank you very much cestlavie - I felt like I'd be wasting my Gp's time if I saw him about this. It's not making me ill really, just making me worry and I don't like feeling helpless.

Thankfully DP has seemed a little better over the past couple of days.

TheyCallMeMimi Thu 15-Sep-11 23:10:00

Hi OneManBand. I know what it's like. I've used Dealing With Depression website for suppport. I write things down. I find some of what goes on sounds very odd when you try to describe it to someone else. I did give a very good friend a kind of high-level summary one day and she acknowledged that "it must be very difficult to live like that" which is about as much outside support as I've ever had.

Do other people know he is depressed at all? If they do, do they know how severe it is? And is anyone looking at it from your point of view?

OneManBand Fri 16-Sep-11 18:05:22

It's been awful, mimi. His parents know and a friend who has been through similar but I don't know any of them really so I can't talk to them very much. So there's no-one for me. My sister knows DP is depressed but she doesn't really understand. I've just felt so drained and useless. And when we have what I think is a nice weekend together, where DP smiles and laughs occasionally, it hurts so much when he tells me his first thought each morning is how he could kill himself sad

TheyCallMeMimi Fri 16-Sep-11 18:22:52

Oh I so understand! Mine is the same. Post on here and vent your feelings.

OneManBand Fri 16-Sep-11 18:48:46

Thank you! I'm just so so tired. DP's life is his depression - which I know is draining and awful - and that's all he needs to think about. My life is the same as before: big health worries, DS, work, house stuff, bills etc as well as DP wanting to die. It's so hard. I constantly fret about him, not knowing how bad he's feeling or why he's feeling so bad or what I can do to help. Thankfully he's been much better these past few days so I hope this is the start of him feeling brighter. But we'll see...

DO you manage to do anything nice for yourself?

TheyCallMeMimi Fri 16-Sep-11 21:18:58

Know what you mean! Dh says it feels like a huge weight on his shoulders all the time. He's sleeping really badly too and has no energy and has no interest in anything. We both work ft but he's often too ill/stressed/tired these days. His depression was triggered by work related stuff so being at work doesn't help iykwim. Our 2 DCs are away at uni which means less strain on me but also fewer distractions at home - his depression is the only show in town. Don't know when he last asked me how my day was! I enjoy my work and crafting which keeps me sane. What about you? Also if I grumble, he casts this back to me as justification that I'd be better off with him dead. Sorry for long post.

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