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anyone had baby 1 with pnd and then baby 2 with less symptoms

(7 Posts)
frazer41 Sun 11-Sep-11 18:40:10

Hi, I had ds now 6 and had pnd, anxiety and panic attacks. Over the years while on small anti d life has been good.

In may this year I had mc and set my anxiety off again, not to the same level but I really thought I was over it. I am now suffering depression, it comes and goes thru the day or days. Not on any anti d as came off in dec 2010 as felt it was all behind me. Wonder if all I need it time to grieve.

Wanted to hear from any mums who have had a child and then had pnd or anxiety symptoms and had anotehr child with symptoms but wanted to know if they were worse, the same or not as bad and did they last for a long time.

I want to try again for another baby but the pnd thing worries me as ds is already asking me why I have a sad face, am I angry at him. Makes my heart melt and have to say I am just thinking. I just dont want him at this age to have any negative experiences that could harm his own personality or development. Would hate him t grow up and tell me he remembers me being very ill and how life was not good.

On a plus point a sibling is an amazing thing for a child and he keeps asking me for a brother or sister, also heartbreaking.

TheOriginalFAB Sun 11-Sep-11 20:44:22

I have had PND after all of my children and AND with my 3rd one.

WIth dc1 it kicked in after 6 weeks.
With dc2 it kicked in after 3 months.
With dc3 it kicked in after 12 months.

It was crap but I couldn't have not had any more children after 1 and 2 because of it.

Are you getting any help as it isn't your son's fault you aren't well.

sad for you all.

wompoopigeon Sun 11-Sep-11 21:05:28

Sorry to hear about your mc and depression.
Can you put your finger on why you were depressed first time round? For example, I had sone ishoos from childhood plus I was very socially isolated, had had a dreadful pg and DD was unwell. I also cope incredibly badly with sleep deprivation! So I had counselling about my family ishoos, have strengthened my social networks beyond recognition, tackled my health problems and intend to give up bf quickly if I am going insane from the night feeds.
Now, clearly you and I may be more susceptible than average to hormonal disturbances, and there's not much we can do about that beyond show up quickly for ads. But have you thought about any underlying reasons for your depression and how you might tackle them, in particular have you had counselling or therapy? As if so statistically your chances of relapsing will be less than if you have not.

TheOriginalFAB Sun 11-Sep-11 21:17:56

DS1 was born by emergency section and wasn't breathing when he was born. He was taken away for tests and I didn't see him again until he was 3 hours old. He was 3 days old before anyone told me he was fine.

I think I had been depressed for many years before hand and was always going to have problems if I had children. I just didn't know it.

frazer41 Sun 11-Sep-11 22:44:03

Ds was born after many many years of trying. He was really bad with colic and gastric reflux, cried cried cried day and night. Lack of sleep was my biggest issue. I was having intrusive thoughts that I am sure would have left me until I watched tv one morning and they said intrusive thoughts means ocd. That made me panic I had some sort of mental disorder, it was that worry that pushed me over the edge. I googled it and went bananas, i just could not get ocd out of my head.

I have had cbt and it was fab and for the last few years been on a tiny amount of anti d and life has been 90% great, the odd blip but its only the odd day or so and i push anxiety away.

This time it came from nowhere. I got preg after years of trying and thought I would be overjoyed but instead panicked. After 2 days I was calmer and had picked a name and looked at prams etc, I was beginning to calm down.

I never ever expected to have a relapse. I realise I have had a shock with the mc and these stessors can trigger my symptoms. I never thougth that would ever happen again. The anxiety and horrible thoughts all came back, this has made me wonder what would happen if I got preg again. Would the preg be so miserable and would I be so unwell at the time of delivery?

I have had therapy and I know I am being silly as the thoughts mean nothing but I worry if it is possible for a 2nd preg to give some terrible mh condition that I could not imagine possible. I just do not want to put my family at risk, ds 6 and dh because I am broody.

Has anyone ever been much worse 2nd or 3rd time round? Has anyone ever had pnd again but taken medication right away to prevent it and the symptoms been much milder?

I dont mind getting pnd again if it is not going to be worse than last time as I am more prepared and it is amazing to get such a blessing of a beautiful baby
Thanks for all the replies x

reallytired Mon 12-Sep-11 10:45:32

Yes, I escaped the second time, inspite of having very bad postnatal depression with my first. I have had some anxiety, but nothing approaching how I ill was with my first. I found it easier with my second because I was confident in my mothering skills. A lot of parenting is opinon based and I know where I stand.

I think its worth reading about CBT while pregnant. Self help books and websites are useless if you are seriously ill, but they can help you when you are recovered. I have found it helpful to learn how to spot negative thinking patterns and to improve my assertiveness skills.

I have also had support from my health visitor who is a saint. If you are struggling with your mental health in pregnancy then its worth talking to your midwife.

bitsnbobs Mon 12-Sep-11 13:54:31

I had bad PND with first but he was a very restless,colicky baby who never slept. With Ds2 he was an "easy baby" and I did get PND again but not to the same degree and got better a lot quicker. The HV was aware of my first experiences so they were on hand after having my second to check how I was getting on. I wish I had waited though til Ds1 was at school as two under 3 was hard!

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