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How do I get through this?

(5 Posts)
Sharpkat Sun 04-Sep-11 20:20:09

Will try and keep this brief.

Background: have suffered with depression and anxiety all my life, spent 2 months in hospital as a result in May 2009. Was on ADs up until last Christmas. I stopped taking them as felt much better and only had a private psychiatrist so it was costing me £250 to see him to get a prescription and another £200 per month per prescription.

I was doing REALLY well. Everyone commented on how well I was looking, I lost 3 stone and have generally been 'well' this year.

I started a new job on 1st August and it has all gone downhill. The anxiety is out of control. I cannot sleep. I am shaking all the time. I am being sick all day and cannot eat. It is like there is shouting in my head all the time. I cannot switch off.

I am so close to resigning because I feel I have failed in my new job and I cannot cope anymore.

I really don't want to go back on ADs - have had 16 years on them and still struggled.

I just don't know what to do or how to get over this. Just cry all the time.

Sorry this is so long.... Don't expect replies... Just need to get it out there

sloggies Sun 04-Sep-11 20:46:03

Ok. Can you ring in sick tomorrow, and get a Dr's appointment? Are you up to signing up at a local NHS surgery if you haven't already? Is there someone who could help you do this stuff? This job is still pretty new. It might be ok, but maybe you need a few days sick, even if just to give you some breathing time to work out why you feel like this at the moment, and how much is job-related, not being given proper induction in it etc.

Notchattingnow Sun 04-Sep-11 22:41:17

is it a stressful job ?

Sharpkat Mon 05-Sep-11 03:29:58

The job is really stressful. It is all new to me and most of it I have never done before. I am trying to hire a team but until I manage that I am on my own so it seems even more overwhelming.

I do now have an NHS GP but there is no way I can call in sick tomorrow. I try and get some perspective at the weekend regarding is it the job or is it just me and I think it's both.

I just feel totally out of control.

Thanks for your replies.

whyme2 Mon 05-Sep-11 05:45:56

It does sound like you need to talk to your GP and get some help that way. It may be that you have to accept that you will need to be on AD's for a long time because that provides the best stability for you.

Your GP may be able to help with some counselling which could help with the anxiety issues too.

Sorry I don't have loads of advice but I hope you get time to see your GP.
Good luck.

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