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Just been diagnosed with moderate to severe depression, anxiety and social phobia...

(11 Posts)
BehindLockNumberNine Tue 30-Aug-11 20:57:10

Have been prescribed Venlafaxine and been told to go back to the GP in two weeks.

Was on Venlafaxine 6 years ago, came off it 18 months later. That time it was depression and health anxiety.

So, here I am again. Alternate between feeling anxious, weepy and numb.

Not sure what I want from posting here, just that 'saying it out loud' seems to make me feel better?

headinhands Tue 30-Aug-11 22:16:51

Hi Behind. I post on this board from time to time under various nn and it's one of the best, if not the best area on MN. Sayng anything out loud is very much accepted and the norm here smile You noticing any improvment from the meds yet?

BehindLockNumberNine Tue 30-Aug-11 22:20:08

No, was only diagnosed and given a prescription today. So early days yet.

Pancakeflipper Tue 30-Aug-11 22:30:26

Don't you go feeling crappy pants cos you have been brave enough to return to the Dr's and say things are not good. That's the hardest part over with now. And you have said ( well typed) out loud that you aren't good. Another milestone....

You will feel weepy and numb and anxious after all that. I think a good curl up under a warm duvet might be in order for you now.

Try to take life easy for next couple of weeks and hopefully the meds will begin to help you mend yourself again.

Do you keep a diary? I have no experience of the meds you are taking but I did have breakdown about 5 yrs ago and I sat at our dining table for 6 weeks unable to go out. I was scared of everything in life especially my own mind.

One thing that did help me was to keep a daily notebook. I used to create a grid for each day for morning/afternoon/evening. If I had a good morning I gave it a tick, if it was rubbish I put a cross. And often a rant at what went wrong. Or what had been positive. Same for afternoon and evening.

At the end of the week I would look through and count ticks and crosses and then over the weeks I would compare days/weeks and see ups and downs but I also saw progression and it gave me hope even when there were blips that I wasn't stuck, that things were changing.

As Headinhands says there's alot of support and love in this section. Use it please, people love to help on here. They really do.

BehindLockNumberNine Wed 31-Aug-11 07:11:48

Thank you. Would love to crawl under the duvet for the next few weeks but need to go back to work on Monday.

Have started keeping a diary, nothing terribly organised, just a 'braindump' of how I feel at that point in time.

Will keep coming back on here, have been on MN since 2006 (under different names) and it has always been helpful. New to MH section though...

Biggest problem is sleep - I either can't get to sleep or I wake in early hours of the morning with dry mouth, heart pounding, shaking and can't go back to sleep until approx 10 minutes before the alarm goes off. Am exhausted.

Pancakeflipper Wed 31-Aug-11 10:12:05

I found sleeping difficult and used to get stressed about it.

It comes back gradually.

I would go to bed as usual and try to keep the routine. I'd take a glass of water, have the radio, try some knitting, have an easy read book or magazines (my mind was too whirry for books most of the time). I would try to avoid internet but I did borrow a DS from someone and would play a game. And I would lounge in bed and listen to the radio, do my diary. I'd have a bath before bed and just keep to a routine. It does resolve itself. It's not fun going through it though at all.

Are work aware of what is going on?
I was surprised at my work as they are very no nonsense, tough it out, we are professional and we are the best types. But I got alot of support. The circumstances of what led to my breakdown were public knowledge so I couldn't hide from it and I so wanted to. I was so ashamed and thought myself to be so weak and pathetic. In fact I was surprised by the number of people who spoke to me with their own experiences and said they learnt alot about themselves and humankind during their own personal tough times. Sop many people have experienced similiar, just no-one talks out loud about it.

Hope you are chilling out today

BehindLockNumberNine Wed 31-Aug-11 10:18:05

Work are not aware, I work in a school and we are not back until next week. My near-breakdown happened in the school holidays. Will seek out the HT on the first day and fill him in.
Am having major anxiety at the moment. Dry mouth, shaking, feeling sick, head is whirring and I am crying. Need to drop the dc at their day's activities, we are already running late as as could not get get moving this morning.
My main anxiety at the moment is centred around thelovely rescue dog we adopted in teh holidays (before my near-breakdown, else I would not have don it) who howls when we leave him home alone which the neighbours can hear. I have to leave him alone when I am back to work p/t next week and am terrified about neighbours reaction. Am too scared to talk to them about it. Social anxiety I guess.

My hands are shaking today. Is this side effect of meds or am I getting worse.

Pancakeflipper Wed 31-Aug-11 11:15:41

It's probably the meds. You will not be getting worse. The meds tend to make it feel really horrible for the first fortnight whilst the body adapts to them and alot of people stop meds in this period because it is making them worse. But just try to accept you are going to feel crap and take shortcuts until you feel better in coping - like ironing is not essential, kids can happily survive on fishfingers, soup and easy meals.

Have you got any one you can turn to for practical support? It's hard to ask but honestly so many people do love to help. They don't want people to struggle. They'd happily clean the bathroom, do the laundry, walk the dog, amuse the kids etc...

Our neighbours have a dog who howls all day. Don't worry about it. We don't. Do you know he howls all the time? Or is it just for a few mins when you leave the house?

Your mind will make this into a huge issue when it is solvable. Have you got anyone who knows alot about dogs and can help work out why and how to stop him howling? Have you got someone who could pop in and take him for a walk? It's a common problem and it can be resolved. It tends to be trial and error though.

Just take a deep breath and take things in little stages. Focus on 1 task at a time e.g. find bag. Tick. Find keys. Tic. Get the shoes out etc.

BehindLockNumberNine Thu 01-Sep-11 13:48:38

Well, yesterday was indeed horrendous. I honestly thought I was losing the plot, could not do much but cry.

I did take the bull by the horns and had a chat with slightly intimitdating but actually really nice neighbour about the dog howling. He said it was fine, he hopes dog will settle.

Dh got up early today to walk the dog (the 6am walk is normally my responsibility) allowing me to stay in bed. Was not actually asleep though, keep waking with a panic at around 3am and find it impossible to get back to sleep.

Hopefully that will ease as meds kick in.

Feel a bit clearer headed today. Still have enourmous feelings of dread and responsibility, feel very heavy if that makes sense.

I am not expecting anyone to reply (or even to read this) but just getting it out helps...

Pancakeflipper Thu 01-Sep-11 19:18:23

Babble away. It's a place you can look back at and see how you have progressed ( and you will). See you made a big step yesterday feeling wretched and still dealt with the dog issue.

Sleep will come eventually....

BehindLockNumberNine Thu 01-Sep-11 21:45:17

Felt a bit 'lighter' this afternoon and evening, if that makes sense. Had a coffee with a dear friend whilst our dds played. Was nice to chat to her. She has seen me in my dark hole before and was a godsend, and she is being one again now. smile

Managed to be out and about today, even be a bit jovial and joked with the dc. Dh seems happier as I seem happier. Not sure if it is a blip, not sure if the meds could have kicked in in 3 days. But hey ho, looking forward to some sleep tonight, fingers crossed...

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