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People turning away when you feeling low?

(9 Posts)
grumpyface Fri 26-Aug-11 07:33:07

Been feeling quite low recently and not replied to some of my DP?s mothers text messages the way I normally would. Meaning that the texts were a lot shorter just concentrating on the particular subject, not blabbing on IYKWIM. I was never rude or anything but did say to her that I have been feeling a bit stressed out. She has since completely stopped contact and has told my DP that she will not contact me until I?m in a better mood (!?) I?m shocked and quite upset. DP says she just wants to ?give me a break?. But surely she should have said that to me herself not just stop contact.
Is this quite common? Just turning your back when somebody you know is feeling low?

PeggyCarter Fri 26-Aug-11 07:44:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn Fri 26-Aug-11 07:48:26

I've never been so lonely, the last 10 months since my dad died have been very low, if it hadn't have been for work I doubt I would have even got out of the house. I have been very saddened by it.

grumpyface Fri 26-Aug-11 07:58:00

Sorry to hear LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn sad

TheJoyfulPuddlejumper- no, for some reason DP cannot see much wrong with his mother’s reaction. Or maybe doesn’t want to

PeggyCarter Fri 26-Aug-11 08:03:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn Fri 26-Aug-11 08:16:49

Would she be a help or would she add to your stress? Could she have wanted you to ask her for help?

madmouse Fri 26-Aug-11 08:18:40

seeing it from your MIL's point of view you were a lot shorter with her than usual and none of the social interaction that she so enjoys and the only reason you've given is that you are 'a bit stressed' (which is what we all are at times). You haven't said that you were very low or struggling. I can imagine that she had a 'well don't take it out on me' reaction. If you need support you need to tell her what is going on.

I'm not playing down how you''re feeling btw - I'm far too familiar with being low.

afishcalledmummy Fri 26-Aug-11 08:28:14

Unfortunately this happens way too often. I lost a someone I had, until that point, considered a very good friend when I was struggling with depression. She just stopped returning my calls and hasn't contacted me in any way since I became ill 2 1/2 years ago. It sucks, but it really is a reflection on them, not on us! It did lead to a lot of self flagellation and navel gazing in my case, which was neither healthy or helpful so I urge you not to do it, just accept that your MIL is being slightly unkind.

Your DP needs a kick up the bum though, the feeling of him siding with his mother and allowing her to abandon you when you're feeling down is hideous. Please don't let it make you feel more down. He needs to realise, as does your MIL, that it's not a mood, it's a chemical imbalance and it can't just be got over!

An0therName Fri 26-Aug-11 13:24:15

I think it is quite common -happened to me - although when you are low things feel worse than they would normally
do you have friend's that you can get support from
but as it is your MIL - its possible that the change in style of texts upset her a bit - or she doesn't know how to cope with someone who is low - are you normally very supportive/helpful to her I wonder? is she normally a sensitve and supportive person?

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