I really can't describe it, so I don't know how I will ask you to describe it, but if anyone can think of words to describe what I am trying to get at, I would be grateful. I tried to explain it to my cpn and I must not be putting it across right because she thought I was talking about normal life, and it's not. My mood is mostly ok, well as ok as my mood gets - not stable, but only short bursts of up or down, which is pretty good considering how near I am to the last relapse.
(I do have a long term problem, but this is not in the usual course of it)
OK. I feel somehow...spooked. Kind of scared, but not panicy, just like theres something...not right. Like there's someone watching, or in a horror film when the victim walks past the murderer but doesn't notice because they aren't paying attention. I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eye and feeling presences and suddenly getting strong ideas out of nowhere that will seem compelling for a couple of seconds, until I think "what a stupid idea, where did that come from?" Having really vivid dreams and, even though I sleep, not getting much rest.
Feeling dizzy and "buzzy" and weak somehow. Lots of random spasms and stumbles, could be a side effect of my medication though.
Weird thing is, when I am with people I'm ok. Even when I am moving about in the daytime I feel ok (although the feeling comes a bit if I go outside by myself, especially if I have my headphones on - it feels like everyone is watching me and talking about me, even though I KNOW they aren't, if that makes any sense). It is mostly when I am by myself in the evening, when the kids are in bed and DH is at the pub or has gone to bed or whatever.
I even sometimes think everyone has been replaced by actors for some reason, and I just ty[ed that twice because I thought I shouldn't let them know I am on to them, but then I thought don't be stupid.
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Mental health
How would you describe feeling "weird"?
20 replies
ButteryPie · 23/08/2011 22:38
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